dbattman

Here's another one: Leave a message that the buyer was downsized Monday afternoon, the next business day AFTER you were supposed to close but couldn't because the bank didn't have the paperwork together in time. [maniacle homer laughter] BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA [/maniacle homer laughter]

Oh yeah, I know Chuck. Good luck to you guys. This is my first sale so I don't have much to say as encouragement but I was quite befuddled myself. Private lot, daylight basement, fresh paint, clean carpet, nice accents and furniture arranged to really show the space. 'Shows like a model'. I probably had 20-25 showings but only one offer. Great feedback from all the other agents but it's just getting the right person to see the house.

Relax- they're a lot of fun. Borrow a Pro-tec, take out the top foam piece and put a nightshirt in there instead. That way you're covered for an off-landing or a walk from the landing area.

Oh come on! I barely tapped the bumper! That shouldn't count!

That's an excellent idea. I'm going to get those written into the contract next time. After the second issue getting their financing approved and they were beginning to ask for concessions to close the deal I was within inches of telling the buyers agent she had to eat some of it out of her commission. From my perspective she hadn't fully pre-screened and advised her client on what they could qualify for but thankfully I didn't have to. I could be wrong here and I know she's trying hard, but geez-louise! The frustration of having almost zero control over the outcome- oh vey!

Agreed Chuck, it is not fun at all. If I was selling a rental I don't think it would be as bad. However I am currently typing from my camping chair sitting in the corner of my kitchen where I can hitchhike onto someone's wireless connection. Later I will retire to my air mattress and listen to my clock radio. This is tolerable for me because I've always been a bit of a minimalist and most of my weekdays are spent traveling and I'm in a decent hotel. When I bought my house I commented to the closing attorney that they had lots of conference rooms and they must be busy with lots of closing. He replied that often they have to use two rooms for a closing because the buyer and seller can't stand to be in the same room together and they run paperwork back and forth. This process can truly bring out the worst in people. Nope, not fun at all. Particularly since I was averaging 4.X showings a week and this has been tied up for six weeks now under contract. NOTE TO FUTURE HOME SELLERS- DO NOT STOP SHOWING YOUR HOUSE EVEN WHEN YOU GET A CONTRACT! GET BACKUPS!

Impersonate the buyers agent, call at 630 pm the day before closing after arrangements have been made for the post-sale travel and tell him theres a problem with insert typical buyers hangups here [i.e. financing, downpayment and closing capital, bank approval, paperwork, etc. and you need to reschedule again for the THIRD time! (Andy, don't even post it. )

Bolas led the rankings with three solos trips down the river. Somehow we managed to finish with everyone + 1

This one happened a few years back at my DZ. This one didn't pierce the bridal, but it locked through the window on the bridal where you check for the color. Unsure if this one happened during packing or sometime afterwards.

Ditka

Mel Mel He's the man If he can't fix it no one can! He does beautiful peppermint striped linesets, too.

I wouldn't know- I don't sit through reviews anymore.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Sergio

Patience, young Jedi.

I have five days to closing. The fridge (only 5 years old) went on the fritz while negotiating the contract including the fridge. Keeping my fingers crossed since the W/D are included as well.

$85-120k. Yikes. I think I'll stick with my Nissan at 31 mpg.

Well, this is the end folks. Thanks for listening and hope you get a chuckle or two out of my little slideshow. I can say I've actually used my scanner for something now, but with the scanning, rotating, cropping, compressing and such to get them uploaded I now remember why I was never big into this stuff to begin with. These are a few of my favorites that I kept around for laughs. Not sure where I got the Nobel Prize Sweepstakes add, probably from one of those college rags that pop up. Boy, some of those had some really funny stuff over the years. One had a big article- 'The Lost Diary of Christopher Columbus.' Very amusing chronicle of the sea voyage ending in an island the natives called 'Jamaica Mon'. Smoked strange weed through pipe and am considering growing dreadlocs. Hah! I'm suprised I still remember that one.

And we'll wrap it up with the funny stuff. I spent an extended term (January to August) in West Point, VA working for Chesapeake during my schooling back in '93. We had an apartment that the mill rented and just sublet it to the students for the semester. Being that it was a rather small town without much to do we had to keep ourselves occupied. One weekend night things got a little outta hand and we ended up with the staged shot I will title 'Man Passed Out with the Roaches.' The guy on the floor went on to a pretty successful engineering career with GP. The other one I lost track shortly after the summer. Rumor had it he left a little present in West Point and did his best to vanish. The other pic was a makeshift still we setup on the stove. We were using 'bubble tubing' since we never really intended to drink any of it (well, not much anyways) but one of the other lab guys teased us with stories of his homemade all-glass benchtop distilery. After playing around for a few evenings we did get a few inches in a Mad-dog bottle. It ended up in the other roommates suitcase going back to Wisconsin where one of his friends drank it. I'm pretty sure he didn't go blind.

Well, aren't these one's nice pictures! This is like a treasure hunt. Two of my cousins decided to adopt kids. Nici and Bobby brought home a little girl from China and I guess she'd be two or so by now. When they brought her home she could barely hold her head up. My other cousin Chris and Nancy adopted one from Guatemala. My cousins Tom has three now and Cheryl has two. I guess these pics are all two years old by now. Of course, I had to have some fun playing with my niece Mary at Christmas. She turned one this past May and I gate-crashed the party at my sisters in Syracuse. Kind of a spur of the moment thing and no one was expecting me to head up but I was glad I did.

Every few years recently the parents and some of their sibs would take a cruise. Mom and Dad had a nice pic taken at the Captain's reception probably late 1990. The grandparents would go as well and I found a few of them as well. I still miss them both very much.

Sometime a few years ago we managed to get most of the families together. I guess these are probably three years old. It's probably the last time we'll ever get this many of us together at one time again but I missed two of the gatherings.

Yeesh! I don't even remember when this one was taken. probably sometime during University (early 90's) since I'm wearing one of only two suits I've owned in my life.

Since we're on the family thing now, I've got some pretty nice ones in the file that I didn't know I had. The bro Mike and his long-time girlfriend Tina got married, oh, I guess eight years ago now. He had me preside as 'Best Man.' I managed not to lose the rings, trip on the steps, or do anything else embarrassing. With the extended courtship during his tenure at Schofield followed by serving in the ROTC, Army Reserve, pursuing University and holding multiple jobs (both of them did that part) I though the reception toast should be something other than a low-level roast of the groom and I put together a nice little ditty about the value of commitment in a relationship. Brought down the house. He married into a Polish-Ukie family which has some nice side benefits (Perogies and all kinds of other goodies come Christmas). The grandmother 'Chocha' has a tattoo from a concentration camp during the war- I forget which one. Than there's the sis Laura and her husband Scott. Not much to say about this one. Nice ceremony and we the respective families all like each other very much. I even found on of my cousin Kris and her husband Rock. Married over three years now with twins and I've never met him. I forget why I didn't make the wedding- I think they just wanted to have a small one out in the Rockies which might have been why.

Now we take you across the Pacific to the tropical island of Oahu. I was there in '92 after my first year of University with my family. We went to visit my older brother who was stationed with the 25th Infantry (Light) at Schofield. We stayed at Barber's Point in a nice little cinder block cottage a short walk from the beach. Pretty good for the little bit we paid. Of course, it turns out it was also at the end of the runway. Air ops kept Mom and Sis up all night, Dad and I slept like rocks. These are a few pics of the older bro I had in the file. The one with the mountain is my favorite. He was, and will always be, one of my heroes for many reasons. Somewhere I've got one of me in a grass skirt after packing on 30 pounds my first year (Miami U had an awesome dining program, in spite of all student whining theat went on) but no one really wants to see that.

We dropped in on the Biosphere 2 project (Planet Earth is Biosphere 1) and it was pretty darned impressive. We took the tour and spent about a half day there walking the grounds. A big resort sprung up around there with hotels and restaurants. Of course teh scenery is also amazing. I missed the technical tour where they take you 'behind the scenes' and get into the inner workings and engineering. I may have to go back sometime and do that. The tower in the picture is the living quarters (bigger than it looks). The partially visible dome in the foreground is part of the 'lungs' for the Biosphere. That's a sealed environment so when the inside warms up it will pop out the glass panes. The lungs are expanding domes to balance the airpressure.