mamajumps

But when I was talking to you, you were eating them....

Normal is very boring..... left field freak... yep thats me.... keeps life interesting.....

I don't hijack anything... I tactfully aquire it. Ok Im going home now, I expect this to be a fun... sexually orientated post when I log back on in a few hours....

Just curious how ya'll would rank yourselves.... Ok go discuss, and those you who can be counted on to hijack shit... have fun... im bored entertain me....

You know me enough to know that I deliberatly dont follow directions.... in hopes for a reward....

Ok I'll bite, but only on these conditions.... I maintain the checking acct, you just make the deposits. I am allowed as many play toys as I want, male and female. I don't cuddle And love to be showered with compliments... so you game?

I'm good HOW YOU DOIN' good... but I guess the better question is WHAT... not HOW. You want me to pose???/ I wish I could pose that question.... fixed it.

I'm good HOW YOU DOIN' good... but I guess the better question is WHAT... not HOW. I wish I could pose that question....

I'm good HOW YOU DOIN'

nope bored.... lol actually I didnt write it, I just wanted to share it with like minded people here....

I agree with Eman, Drag bars for sure! Sweet bike!

'Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry. Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself. The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer. With a fat little driver, half out of his sled, A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head. Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite. And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right. Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts. Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree, Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee. They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub, Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub. And then from the roof we heard such a clatter, As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder. I was donning my jacket to cover my ass, When down the chimney Santa came with a crash. His suit was all smelly with perfume galore, He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore. That was some brothel, he said with a smile, The reindeer are pooped, and I'll just stay here awhile. He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink, Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink. I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee, The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee. Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack, But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed. The first thing he found was a pair of false tits, The next was a handgun with a penis that spits. A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find, And a six pair of panties, the edible kind. A bra without nipples, a penis extension, And several other things that I shouldn't even mention. A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil, A dildo so long, it lay in a coil. This suff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit, So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split. He filled every stocking and then took his leave, With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve. He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead, Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead. In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch, Take me home Rudolph, this night's been a bitch! The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout, The best thing about sex is that it never wears out!

That was the grossest thing I think I have seen in a long time.... funny but gross

I voted no... cuz um what bvody hair????

I was gonna say the same thing!!!!

Im still in the phase of taking my kids trick -or- treating... haven't gotten to the hand out phase yet... but my 3 came home with 10lbs of candy amongst them!!! We will have candy til halloween next year!!!!

I don't know how the EMS systems run where you are, but here in FL, they are on 24 hrs at a time. Maybe they were just grouchy from being tired.... I dunno... I know after I graduate and go to work as an EMT, it gonna take a lot of adjusting to get used to that schedule... I wouldnt take it personally... give them shit right back....

Seriously, does such a person exist? I have taken that route with many of my "friends" and offered up those qualities only to be shot down, and treated that way time and time again... Now I have superficial friendships and I no longer get hurt... its great!

ahhh the good ol' days, I can relate to it all.... The 80's were the best!!! period!!!!

tomorrow at work, for our halloween bash... I am going to be a bald Brittney and my two co-workers in my dept are going to be the papparazzi. I need to burn a cd of some songs to play during the costume contest... but dont know what any of her popular songs are...

that was hillarious!!!!

Got a headache... j/k

Thats so awesome! WTG you rock!!!!

Nope never "tried" one... sat in one clothed in an adult toy store, but don't know anyone rich enough to buy one....

Would a happy birthday help?