pilatus_p

hahaha Are you sure she wasnt just boss-eyed? Ross http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

hahaha this is getting silly. My take on it (not that I want to step on the toes of any professors of flutulence) is this: Lets say at 0 feet, the pressure in a balloon is 2 bar absolute and atmospheric is 1 bar. The balloon is a given size for that pressure, and the skin tension in the balloon rubber is proportional to the difference between the two pressures, inside and out. Take it up to another altitude. External pressure decreases lets say to 0.5bar. Now our 2 bar in the balloon exerts a higher net force on the inside the balloon. So the balloon expands. But, in the same way that pulling the ram out of a piston full of air will a) increase its volume b) decrease its pressure (imagine pulling the plunger out of a syringe), so the pressure of the air inside the balloon will decrease as the volume of the balloon increases. This is shown by the ideal gas law p = vrt and has been experimentally proven for about the last 5 centuries(before anyone tries to deny the laws of physics in favour of 'having more jumps than me' ) The balloon expands, its internal pressure decreases. Atmospheric also decreases. SO the pressure in your guts DOESNT go up, it goes DOWN - BUT your guts expand. At ground level, when your guts expand due to the presence of gas, (e.g. due to a WHOPPING fart that wants to come out), you will FEEL the need to let one go. Float an air biscuit. Squeeze cheese. Parp. Chunt. "Do a rudey". This feeling is set by the sensitivity of your nerves in your intestines and 'ring' On the ground, when you FEEL you need to fart, you can also choose NOT TO fart or TO FART. This comes down to MANNERS. SO Skydiving increases the feeling of the need to fart, but does not CAUSE you to fart - you still have the choice of holding it in until a more polite junction in time, or until the tensile strength of your ring muscles decides to let go. In which case you may be incontinent anyway. Via science and argument I have proven that you are all very childish for finding posts about bottoms funny. Ross http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

When I originally started doing static line (before discovering AFF - phew) I was bricking myself for my first jump. I had once jumped off a cliff into the sea, and I'd done it by screaming at myself. Of course, I thought "this can work for parachuting". Apparently I put the fear of god up the 4 other jumpers as my petrified wail rattled windows in the cessna. The jumpmaster nearly pissed his pants - at first in shock and then with laughter. The second time I accidentally slapped the JM. He shouted 'wanker' at me as my canopy opened. Another girl froze in the door and had to go down with the plane, twice. The JM gave her one last chance. Here is a script of the attempt: [after other jumpers have gone] JM: "Number 5 - in the door" Girl: " ......... " JM "Number 5 - IN THE DOOR" Girl: " ......... mmmphh wurble ..... " JM: "This is your last chance - Don't make me come back there and chuck you out!" JM moves towards number 5 Girl: "I'm not jumping!! Fu*k off you old c*nt!!" JM: [reels in fear, then nods to himself] "(to pilot) take us down" Fastest redline I ever saw on a DZ. Poor girl. Must be some better stories than these though - any good recollections? Ross http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

Play music! Trips to altitude with metal or reggae are awesome! Cheaper than noise reduction i bet Ross http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

Right you have opened a floodgate here ... When I was 13 I had terrible lactose intolerance. This condition inspires the eggiest farts known to man - I mean REAL egg mayonnaise and sulphur type ones. At school in a german lesson, I snuck out a TINY silent one, so small i didnt even need to 'tilt'. The potency must have been something that biochemical warfare labs can only dream of because I swear it smelt like a power cut in a morgue. The fart and ensuing panic spread around the class. Jumpers were futilely pulled over noses. Retching began. As a last ditch attempt at survival, students were actually starting to bail out of windows (ok it was ground floor). The teacher said "Oh for god's sake it can't be that b..." and stopped mid sentence as he gagged. Then he told everyone to open the windows. And the door. Some people left. I still see people now (im 28) that remember it clearly. It is forever known as "The German Fart". Would that constitute a danger to an aircraft? Ross http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

An educated man. You will appreciate this: http://www.heptune.com/farts.html Please note section on 'atmospheric conditions' Ross http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

I don't think this thread is a good idea. We have now given thousands of skydivers carte blanche to let rip inside any plane they find themselves stuck inside in the name of intestinal pressure balance. To those thinking that this thread empowers you to flatulate at will, think of all those raw greenhouse gases you are releasing high in the atmosphere. When the seas are lapping around your ankles as the icecaps melt, ask yourself the question - "could i not have just clenched?" Ross http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

Well its very rude I think Why not wait a few more minutes, and one can leave ones flatus behind in freefall. Better yet, save it in case your PC gets caught in a burble. That little jet of gas could save your life. 'Gags and dry heaves'... I've only just stopped laughing ... Ross http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

Agreed - but you can give them information that will help them to see their worries from a different angle and perhaps decrease the anxiety - dropzone.com is great for that, and so is a good instructor which I'm sure B_dog will have. Ross http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

How about showing them my 'advert for a PLF' ? When I was training my AFF, loads of us were coming down in big heaps. There were sore ankles and knees everywhere, even landing in thick dirt. I had been doing either combat roll type landings (which just twists the canopy) and a couple failed run-out to fall over landings. I had screwed my landing pattern after the T was changed whilst we were in the plane, and I ended up in the wrong holding area. Figuring this out at around 1000 feet, I figured it best not to try to make it over the other side of the field and risk a low turn. So on a fast approach into wind I suddenly remembered the PLF ... pulled my legs together, set up the 45 degree angle to my direction, flared as hard as I could and did a perfect PLF. I was pretty sure I was gonna mangle myself or at least end up with a sprint finish - but the PLF really worked and I ended up in a nice comfy heap instead of a painful one. The combat rolls also work awesomely, but piss the packers right off. Its easier to do legs together with a comfy harness. Some harnesses CHAFE. But then so does a broken ankle ... Ross http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

I'm sure it does. I'm trying to be helpful to the poster and encourage him in his desire to become a skydiver, especially as I was only recently in a similar position. I thought a massive list, hinted at by the 'etc', would be a bit pointless. Its clear you are an experienced jumper, so maybe you can add a little to the discussion to give b-dog the courage to see his second jump through? Ross http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

Hahaha head hunting via the web - great way of keeping the costs down ... Question: If a skydiver were to get to a point in his or her career and had never experienced a cutaway, are there schools around that will strap him or her on a 2nd belly reserve and allow them to make a planned cutaway? Im not condoning or suggesting - just enquiring! Ross http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

Has there ever been reports of one so bad that an emergency exit had to be made? I could believe this given some of the food served at DZ's Ross http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

Laura Im not trying to start a fight here, but Carrot registered in january - I don't think its a recent addition. I can see why you would think that - he hasnt signed the post, and as he said himself, its likley to affect how he's treated. It seems to me he is a student who is at the DZ NOW and is angry at what he perceives as bad treatment - so quite likely to remain anonymous. I can understand why carrot may feel this way. When I was at Ocana, the plane was in for repair. First day we were told one day, then two, then three .. . People were given compensation which sweetened the sting and we ended up jumping at Lillo which is a grand ol place. I still have grit from their landing zone in my teeth During my stay there, two students were annoyed by what they saw as "bad service" and "false claims" as they called it. Their main concerns were the two airplanes claim, and the 'one student to one instructor' claim, which did not happen during my stay (my ins was coaching three or four people at once). I believe they chose not to take any action however. Other students were aware of it, but did not seem to take as much umbrage and instead chose to visit sights in Aranjuez and Madrid whilst we waited on the plane. It is a bit confusing as their website says they have two planes, but I believe they have had trouble with the order coming thru for the last however many months or something so I guess they are reliant on the airplane company for their one Porter which looks pretty sexy. It IS a nice school. The vast majority of students have a great time. The ins's are good to talk to and share a lot of themselves with students, and their enthusiasm is infectious. They are good at helping you overcome sticking points. The place is pretty and warm. There is a pool nearby and the landlord is less grumpy if u try to speak spanish to him. Trade this off against potential admin drawbacks / lost jump days if you choose to jump there. The age old maxim applies - buyer beware. You pays your money, you takes your choice. Another view (not mine): http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=2288079;search_string=ocana;#2288079 Ross EDITED for spelling http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

Can we get some stats on this? SDomeone with USPA / BPA records ... take all the guys and gals that have been jumping since the year whatever. Take out the ones who stopped jumping. HYow many of the ones that signed up way back when are a) dead b) still jumping? Now recalculate the odds. My second AFF jump was far and away trhe scariest. i figured "Ok I got away with it the first time - it'll never happen again" - thats just natural. But the thing is, a parachute is essentially a machine, and machines have a reliability factor. The better maintained (i.e. packed etc) the parachute is, the more likely it will function to its fullest reliability. That I guess is how come there are people like Doug (CCI at Hinton, UK) who have done over 10,000 jumps, are still jumping and instructing, and who love the sport. And Doug started on Army rounds! Some people dislike being 'out of control'. If this is you, how about trying Level 1 AFF? You pull your own chute and you fall by yourself, with two instructors holding on and watching you. Or even a static line? Just let gravity do its job, 160 feet later and you are under canopy. Not much freefall though... As someone said earlier, only way to feel really comfortable is to understand the gear technically. Then it is not just a 'black box' that you must just put faith in - its a machine that you can rely on and believe in. Check this page out - tons of good info!! http://entertainment.howstuffworks.com/skydiving.htm Sorry can't do clickies yet ... If you are just doing tandems, DONT go and watch the malfunctions section on skydivingmovies.com - this will just put the unnecessary shi*s up you (as we say in the UK). If you are going solo, there is some use in watching them - but ONLY after you have learned how canopies work. Watch lots of happy people tandemming and parachutes depolying perfectly. The more relaxed you are, the better it will go! If you still have fear trouble, read this http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/safety/detail_page.cgi?ID=26 this http://www.zct.co.uk/skydivemag/pages/articles/oct99/copingwithfear.htm and think about buying this: http://www.bigairsportz.com/publishing.php "Q. I made a few jumps during the summer and it was incredibly fun. But I'm having a hard time finding the guts to keep going and I certainly don't want to quit. What can I tell myself to be more comfortable? A. At one time or another in their careers, skydivers have to cope with fear. Jumping out of an aircraft in flight is dangerous and unusual--we should be scared. It takes time and experience to learn to manage that fear. Surprisingly, students often discover that their scariest jump isn't their first. Their second jump is often the most gut-wrenching, or perhaps their fifth or fiftieth. Fear also increases as the time between jumps increases. Getting back in the air after any sort of layoff is guaranteed to churn the stomach. Here's a suggestion: Save enough time, money and good weather so you can jump several times a day for several days in a row. Expect to be really petrified on the first jump of that sequence, especially during the ride to altitude. But, more than likely, you'll land from that jump feeling quite enthusiastic about making another. You'll be much more relaxed on that next jump. Once you make a bunch of jumps in a row, you'll rightfully have a lot more confidence in your equipment, your training and yourself. Fear will diminish dramatically. But expect to be scared again the following weekend, although not quite as much. Expect also to get the heebie-jeebies when you're exposed to a new situation (new equipment, new DZ, different aircraft). For a few new skydivers, the fear never subsides enough, even when they try jumping frequently. In that case, if a sport isn't fun, then why do it?" Skydiving is scary. Thats why its fun. Being scared is nothing to be ashamed of, and when you jump you may just have to do it scared. Trying to deny your fear will make it worse. But then real courage to me is not 'never being scared' - its doing what you are scared of inspite of it. HAppy tandems Ross http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

Somebody always farts in the plane. That, I have seen in my limited experience, seems to be a given. On my recent AFF people just chose to let it go inside the porter. Thankfully the door slides. On my static lines, it was the instructor ... Guess we made him nervous... Ross http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

My advice - before posting an 'Im offended' post - try Pm'ing or posting to find out if they ARE just kidding, rather than presuming they arent and then posting your rage. OK now Im going to presume YOU are kidding. Im english. I live in Scotland. Why should my nationality have ANYTHING to do with whether I joke about a man who jumped from a baloon in the upper stratosphere?? I like having fun - irrespecitve of my ethnic origin! Remember - this is just a forum. Just because you cannot see the persons face does not mean they are your sworn enemy unless they agree with you 100%. I see this all too often on internet forums - flames and near flames just because someone did not take the time to ask themselves if they had really understood what the post they had read was really saying. Rather than indulge yourself and gain the satisfaction of quickly letting off steam, try giving people the same benefit of the doubt as you would expect in reaility. Ross http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

Hey ok look - intent does not always come across in a typed thread and I see that offence can be taken easily, so ..... When I called Kittinger a 'loon' I meant it with a sense of fun, not literally! When reading people's posts, sometimes the way you first interpret it isnt necessarily the way it was meant. So, Kittinger is a legend, with a very big manly appendage. And in case that goes down the wrong way too, I mean he was very brave Ross http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

Bullshit beats brains! Knew the year of latin my farking school made me do would come in handy eventually. Ross http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

Hm Totally Awesome Rapid Deployment. Guessed the last two words. The videos I've seen are quite awesome actually

Ok here is a nerdy question. I have just started skydiving but BASE is starting to fascinate me. When you are considering jumping a new object, do you do calculations of speed, distance travelled, canopy opening times etc? I have an engineering background and out of total curiosity (as opposed to actually going to jump the thing) I was trying to figure out if you can safely jump a local bloack of flats near me with a 3 second delay (a fall of 150 feet roughly). I figured no by using Mr Newton's equations and a required deployment distance of 120 feet, doing 100 ft/sec (i got the height from the web) as the flats were about 210 feet tall. So three questions popped up: 1) Do you decide on a delay in order to predict your fall rate and opening distance required by canopy? 2) What techniques exist in order to speed opening time? I have seen people hold the unpacked canopy and also do hand held pilot throws. 3) Do you factor in 'screw up time' - e.g. extra altitide to give an extra second of safety? I will understand if people are reluctant to answer my questions - I appreciate they may encourage others to go out and jump without following the correct route of getting 200 skydives, finding a mentor and attending legal and safe sites first. Ross http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

Google is not being kind to me. Please can someone tell me what a TARD jump is, and how it differs to a 'normal' jump? Has it got something to do with holding the canopy and going feet first? Ross http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

Kittinger? He was a total loon who went up into the upper stratosphere in a balloon, wearing a VERY heavy early spacesuit type thing. http://www.skydivingmovies.com/ver2/pafiledb.php?action=file&id=2365&string=kittinger Freefall time long enough to watch a movie, have a meal and be home in time to watch 'Eastenders'. http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

Hi Steve Many thanks for your input on the various packing techniques. When my back has healed and I am back up in the air I wil go about experimenting with them. The psycho pack sounds very appealing - I have been reading a lot about how base jumpers pack their rigs, and being a newbie, anything that allays the fear of another hard opening or malfunction is a good thing by me. Just a note on your student who lost control of his bowels. Any kind of disturbance in the butt end of things is the first sign of spinal damage. They check that out when you go to hospital with any sort of spine injury. Your student could well have been very close to permanent spinal cord damage, which can result in paralysis. Glad to hear you sent the rig back, sorry to hear that people got hurt Still sore Ross http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

Ok this is what I was looking for. Great articles on causes of and prevention of hard openings. Repeats a lot of the advice on this thread. http://www.skydivewestpoint.com/WhackArticle.htm and http://www.skydivewestpoint.com/HardOpenings.pdf Ross http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm