Zing

Another great bit of journalism. I found this on the Associated Press news wire. REYNOLDS FEARS FLYING AFTER NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE VAN WILDER star RYAN REYNOLDS is terrified of flying after he went sky-diving and his parachute failed to open. The 30-year-old was traumatised by the incident and has found it hard to step onto an airplane ever since. He explains, "When I was 17 years old, I took a skydiving course and it was just awful, every second of it was just truly horrendous. "On my 13th jump, I jumped out of the plane and my chute failed. It came out the wrong way, I had to pull the reserve. "I got down on the ground, removed my urine-spackled jumpsuit and threw it at the guy and got in my car and drove extremely slowly home. It was the worst. Now I get on planes and I can't do it anymore. "The first thing that I think about when I get in the aircraft is I look around at all the people and think, I'm gonna die with these people. I think I should get to know everyone before we die.'" 18/01/2007 20:24 Zing Lurks

You just have to wonder if some folks din't just happen to see Scott Smiths slingshot video on the news and one says,"Hey Elrod, I got me some stretchy stuff out in the shed and we could test thing out on your little sister ... SPROING! Zing Lurks

I think the military has documented accounts from ejected pilots who encountered ice in its various forms in the atmosphere. There was abook called "The Man Who Rode Thunder" by an Air Force pilot who ejected into a severe thunderstorm and experienced mother nature's weather phenomenons first hand back in the early 60s. I'd love to find a copy of that book again. There are several mechanisms by which ice will form on a surface, and a jumper freefalling into the proper conditions could pick up noticeable amounts of ice in a few seconds. I've had it happen skydiving, but the ice was less a factor than the poor visibility inside a very dense cloud. Flying a King Air, IFR somewhere over Louisiana a few years ago in an area with no forecast icing conditions, I flew into a patch of clouds that coated the windscreen, wings and tail and pitot tubes with a half-inch of ice in 30 to 45 seconds. By the time I turned on the pitot heat, foolishly left off, and cycled the deice boots, etc., the airplane was clear of the icing area and we proceeded IFR in the soup to Mobile, Ala. without seeing any more ice Zing Lurks

The DZs I knew about that "basically fly cargo all week" got put out of business by the radar blimps and the tunnels now in place underneath the border. There was a day when a good jump plane could outrun the slower DEA and DPS aircraft, but things changed. Zing Lurks

I remember the SCR and SCS as real big deals back in the 70s, and I had a blast getting each of mine, especially my WSCR with the Swoevelin Sisters at Pope Valley. At Coolidge, when I was running it, the Ghoulidge Star Service assisted a lot of jumpers in getting theirs. I think Jim Slocum got his SCR on his third? jump, and a jump pilot friend of his got an SCR on his first jump. Quite a few people qualified for the awards, bought beer (never sign anything until you see the beer) and got the applications signed, but the cost of the award and a patch was worth one or two jump tickets, so lots of signed forms went into logbooks, but no official number got issued. There was a Coolidge version, the Monty and Linc Sport Death Memorial Skullcrest Award that involved a 13-way skull&crossbones formation where the eyes blinked, the teeth rattled and the crossbones tracked away at 3500 feet. We actually completed the dive a few times. But, not to hijack the original thread about someone's SCR, it's a good-vibes dive that gets free beer and camaradarie ... I think on another thread somebody got talking about the magic of skydiving, well, here's one of the ways to go find it. Zing Lurks

That's the problem ... I was so "all in" so often back then that I only, sorta, kinda have these vague recollections of what might have been. BUT, I know there was magic in the air and elsewhere some of those times ... and there still is. Zing Lurks

The magic may have shifted locations or changed direction, but it's still there. I often look at the younge guys around today and think "they don't know what it was like back in the day, when PC's were the hot item on the DZ and drinking all night then getting on the first load were the norm" All us old timers have our memories, some more accurate then others, but hey the young guys and gals are making thier own memories now and in twenty or thirty years, they will recall thier own brand of magic. Your's, and mine, may seem better then thiers, but that may only mean something to us Yeah ... what he said ... although there was this one time ... Zing Lurks

and the Lovely Natasha ... and ... "Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!" Zing Lurks

Pffffffftttt! .... Felix the Cat and Mighty Mouse, but then, there's Heckle and Jeckle, but Wylie E. Coyote does the best "I'm about to bounce" facial expressions. And don't forget, you need mom's best and biggest bath towel for a cape when you dive off the eaves. Zing Lurks

Snark!!!!!!! Zing Lurks

Its likely to be carpal tunnel syndrome. I had the same thing and it just gets worse if untreated, and can lead to permanent nerve damage and atrophied muscle in your hand. Go see a good doctor. Zing Lurks

Its a weird industry. I earned extra bucks doing porn camera work for some women in Tucson while I was back in college a few years back. After awhile, you'll get over the novelty of it and its just another job. Zing Lurks

I paid for a lifetime membership in USPA in 1974 ... I'm still waiting. Zing Lurks

I had a similiar problem ten years ago. Apt. managers, police etc. wouldn't do anything about it and neither would the owner ... so, you take a pair of heavy duty wirecutters, crawl under the front of the car and start cutting wires until the noise stops, then leave an anonynous note on the windshield informing the jerk owner that the next time the problem occurs, there will be a fire in the car ... that finally solved the problem Zing Lurks

Once you jump ... yer dead until you pull Zing Lurks

My cats are affectionate with me and no one else. They have trained me to serve their need for food and water ... if I were to drop dead at home, they would eat my corpse. Zing Lurks

One of those misc. canopies was Joe Park's FT-1 ... it was a 20' round made in France, and that was all the data panel said ... "Made in France," nobody knew anything about it ... hence the name French Thing-1. Zing Lurks

I don't believe I'd ever bet against Jay! Zing Lurks

God help me, but if I were ever going to get involved in another one of these, I'd shoot for 700 jumps. Here's what I'd do. 1. Find someone who has MORE of whatever Jay Stokes has in him to be able to endure the physical job. I, honest to god, don't think I've ever seen a more spectacular display of focused eye-on-the-goal effort. It would kill a normal man. At the end, Jay was beyond any mere physical endurance. Jay has said he's done now. 2. Have a minimum of 4 PAC 750s on hand. All must be capable of keeping up with the two we used last time, ie: fresh, strong engines, new tires, fresh brake overhauls, all internal and external lights working, etc. As pilots, we beat the shit out of those poor airplanes ... we didn't damage them, but when cranking 2 min 24 sec. turnarounds for hundreds of takeoff/landings, it takes a toll a "normal" jump plane might see after months or years of use. I’d consider finding a well-maintained grass field to save wear on the aircraft. The asphalt runway made landing distances longer and brake use more intense. I saw more than one set of red-hot brakes the last time. 3. Have 2 qualified pilots on hand for each airplane. By qualified, I mean able to operate the aircraft at maximum performance, day or night, for 2-hour-plus sessions. Jay was not the only one suffering from the wear and tear of doing the deal when it was done. I, personally, hadn’t flown a Porter for a year or two prior to the last record. I had sore leg, back, shoulder and arm muscles for about four days after it was done. I think I flew about 5.5 hours and averaged 26 or 27 loads per hour, just barely within the required turn time. The PACs were faster, and could carry more fuel than the Porter while making better times. I believe the PACs often carried a lot of fuel not needed for the two-hour flight profile. 4. One airplane and one crew of two is “standby” for immediate start-up in the event of an aircraft problem. Lousy duty for the crew and the aircraft owner won’t be happy (well, maybe they would be after they see what happens to the other three planes over that 24 hours) but without a back-up … the deal’s off. Flight schedule would be for two-hour flight times, but I would let the pilots call the end time because the airplanes get faster as the fuel burns out and the fastest turn times tend to happen toward the end of a pilot’s shift. That would mean trying to average 2-minute turn times and every time a load finishes quicker, it’s time in the bank when the unexpected costs the effort a few minutes … health check, bad spot, broken airplane, etc. After the sun sets, I’d consider cutting the flight time to 1-hour shifts. With six pilots, it would be possible to schedule shifts that don’t force pilots to stay awake for 24 hours. I flew mostly at night on both attempts I participated in. Repeatedly diving toward the pitch black corner of that Indiana farm field was sublimely surreal, and frightening. I can only imagine what the safety person riding in the back thought of the descents … though I did hear a bit of screaming from the back of the Porter a couple times. The PACs’ descents were equally, um, exhilarating. 5. Gather as many of Jay’s rigging, safety and ground crew as possible and hire Jay to ramrod the project. If there is anyone who knows how to get it done right, he’s the man to talk to. I’d want one week with the crew for training. I could mention dozens of details, but for brevity, more identical rigs. Jay had 29, but 40, or even 50, would take pressure off the rigging crew. They worked like dogs, never packed a single malfunction and got little in return but Jay’s gratitude and my respect. More time to train the flight crews and let them practice, both day and night flying, overall crew co-ordination and, as always, discover as many of those unanticipated things that come with an all-out effort like this. The reward of accomplishing the goal is incredible, but, at the same time, the potential for disaster cannot be ignored. Okay, who’s going to volunteer to sponsor it? Zing Lurks

You just need to meet the right scorpions ...real party animals! And for those of you who don't like spiders ... imagine finding this guy in your bed. Though this is merely a molted skin ... they get bigger when they molt. And, as someone else already pointed out, spiders are not considered insects, and tarantulas are not true spiders. Zing Lurks

Zing, the story to which you refer is the Salamander Letter. Mark Hoffman is the bomber; Kathleen Sheets and Steve Christiansen were the victims. Steve Christiansen was my exwife's next door neighbor, I knew him fairly well, as my wife tended his children while we were dating. Had Gordon B. Hinckley had the balls to expose Hoffman at the time, rather than attempting to buy his silence, neither of those two people would be dead. Not just my opinion, but is the conclusion of several authors and researchers of the situation. Hoffman had sold literally hundreds of forged documents to high ranking church leaders, and all of them were not only bought as "authentic" but also used to support prophetic claims of Joseph Smith and Breed em' Young. Hoffman was smart enough to use his knowledge as a Mormon missionary, to find/probe weaknesses in the Mormon story, and forge documents that supported previously unsupported Mormon doctrine. He then sold the forgeries at astronomical prices. I have a forged Jack London's "White Fang" that Hoffman forged and sold to various owners. I bought it from Weller's books, who later learned they'd sold several forgeries and offered to buy them all back. I kept mine for nostalgia, and who knows"? Hoffman was such a good forger that even the FBI had a hard time catching them. Amazing, the Mormon church paid to hide negative forgeries of Hoffman's, but paid and published his positive forgeries, and used them as "evidence" of the truth of the Mormon faith.

Hey y'all, big spiders are cool. Just ask this one. Zing Lurks

Actually, after Jay was finished, the pilots flying the gig sat down and talked about concievable jump totals. With the right airplanes, the right pilots and the right jumper, we determined that 700 is doable ... but it isn't likely to happen anytime soon. Zing Lurks

A rowdy young ranch hand rides into town after days of eating dust on the trail and spends his last dime in the saloon for a shot of whiskey and a beer, After downing the shot, he's nursing his beer and realizes how hungry he is, but he doesn't have any money for food. The cowpoke spots an older, grizzled looking cowboy sitting at a table next to the bar staring taciturnly into a bowl of chili. The young cowpoke, seeing the old cowboy was not eating the chili, gathers his nerve and asks, "Are you going to eat that?" The old cowboy sits for minute and then pushes the bowl across the table and says, "Naw, you can have it if you want it," leans back and tips his hat down over his face. The young cowpoke sets down and digs in eating with gusto, until he gets to the bottom of the bowl and discovers that there is a hairy, dead rat in the chili. The young cowpoke gags and vomits the chili back into the bowl, whereupon the old cowboy tips his hat back and says, "Yeah, that's about as far as I got too." Zing Lurks

I've been a "Mormon" for 22 years, I've served as a full-time missionary for 2 years, and I live by those principles. Funny, never once in my life have I heard of a "Magic Lizard" or anything remotely close to it. Could you clarify this up for us? I first heard about the magic lizard about six months after moving to SLC, Utah. The story I was told, by a self-described "jack mormon," was that the magic lizard appeared to Joseph Smith and lead him to the cache of golden plates. It's been years since I heard this and the reason that story stuck was that not real long after I heard it, there was a con man who had sold various faked "original" documents to the church and others. When the suspicions began, the guy started delivering bombs to people who might/would expose him. His scam came to an end when the bomb he meant to deliver near downtown SLC exploded as he got it out of his car. Don't remember the scam/bomber's name, but it shouldn't be hard to search for. Happened in the mid-80s. I was about two blocks away when the bomb blew and drove right past the damaged car just seconds after the explosion. He was badly injured. Some of the faked documents this guy sold contained "expanded versions" of Mormon lore and legacy. The guy was well connected within the church hierarchy and had access to the church's most sacred documents and archives. His forgeries were based on authenticated documents held by the church and other scholars. Hell ... a magic lizard is no less probable than an astronomic anomaly as a device for locating sacred relics or holy representatives. Zing Lurks