SkymonkeyONE

bwaaaahaaahaaa! One of my favorites: "Last year I couln't spell Feerarry, now I drive one!" Another: "Put down that hammer! You don't know nuthin about mechanic'n!" "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

No, but the Sikorski CH-54 SkyCrane will beat an F-14 to 10,000 feet. "Back in the day" I was lucky enough to get a shitload of free skydives out of the SkyCranes that the Alabama Air National Guard kept in Birmingham. They regularly flew jump missions for the 20th SFG and it's parachute team (of which I was a member). We would jump it with "the box" attached. You could put 30 skydivers in it no problem. At altitude, my cousin and I would go out the front door of the box and crawl around the fuselage, wave at the pilots, then bail off. Very fun and those guys loved every minute of it. One time, at the Vidalia Onion Festival in Georgia (around 1990), we were on the bird when it replicated it's climb performance feat. Ten of us were on board and let me tell you that when that PIC pulled pitch, it blew at least 100 people that were standing near the bird right on their asses. We were pinned to the floor like someone had smashed us with hammers until he let up at 12,000 feet. Unbelievable. I have video of it (VHS-C) laying around somewhere. Here's to the good old days! It broke everyone's heart when they de-activated those helos. They were terribly cool in that they had a third set of flight controls that faced rearwards at the back of the fuselage "pod". When they were used as heavy-lift cranes for building construction, etc, the PIC operated everything including all the hoists from right there, facing down and back. Now, what the hell does that have to do with Brandon's original post? Who knows, but it's a good memory for me. Chuck "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

Well in reality, I have two favorites that I keep around all the time: Rolling Rock and Coors Light (for when I just want to drink forever and not get pissed). Nowadays, I drink an awful lot of those tasty Smirnof Ice things too, though they kind of give me a stomach ache. "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

A ha! What you are talking about is FREAK flying. Hark the days of pre-prison Roger Nelson and the Freak Brothers convention. Check out any old late '70s or early '80s video and you will see plenty of people flying around on their backs docked on belly to earth people (with big floppy jumpsuits, no less!) There was plenty of 3-dimensional stuff going on back then too; so called "enterprise" dives and the like. Yes, that is fun stuff. As a matter of fact just last year four of us did a dive that mixed straight up RW with two inverted pieces. Did bipole-360-bipole with the "out" people upside down; very stylish. Chuck "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

You know, Stacy, it's possible that he was fantasizing about wrassling you in the woods behind the hanger

OK, here is the real deal with some of the systems offered now: There are straight-up BASE rigs that are being marketed as "rescue devices", and then there are the ones that are going to actually function in a simple manner. The latter is what I will concentrate on. The one offered by Precision is going to have a square parachute, but be SL activated. Another I have heard of will have a round parachute and be SL activated. The basic principle is that you knock out your window with the supplied snap aul (nail set), don your rig, hook the SL to a solid object and HAUL ASS straight out the window. A complete no-brainer. Body position could be either a military-type exit, or a sort of forward leap. Deadly off-heading square openings do not apply, as your trusty round will lower you straight down and bounce off the building if blown backwards. I am all for this type of system for people who work above a minimum height. "Real" skydivers in that situation need to go out and buy a damn BASE rig and learn how to launch without going ass over tea-kettle. Work below that height? No problem, have a kern-mantle proline (pre-coiled, cut to length, and attached to a solid object in your office), a 12 foot length of rope to tie a swiss seat, some gloves, and a carabiner or figure eight. This all seems very reasonable to me. Chuck "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

I am not laughing at all........but: the deal with hybrid flying is that everyone must be on the same sheet of music if safety is to be maintained. You can't have people flying flat only to have someone zoom past and around them in a vertical attitude. Same goes for the people who just zoomed past only to "cork" into a belly formation right under someone just speeding up to catch them. Collisions would abound if it were left to the individual, so choreography is critical, unlike in a high speed vertical "flock" or a low-speed tracking dive. Personally, I like mixing it up; it keeps me from getting bored. Chuck "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

My favorite kinds of beer: Cold Free Other Peoples "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

RIGHTEOUS!!!! "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

Eh, Jason, I think you mean cyanide. Chuck "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

SQUEEL! "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

Some monkeys require full-body condoms. Chuck "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

Yeah, JUST LIKE IN PRISON! See you in two weeks. Chuck "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

Agreed. Personally, I would avoid that or any tri-cell for skysurfing because of the possibility of off-heading or other erratic openings, though I know people who get away with it. Both good choices and I believe you can get decent deals on both overseas. Absolutely. There are plenty of dropzones in Europe nowadays and some pretty good boogies too! Most regional gear vendors will normally be in attendance. Good luck, Chuck "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

Mike, I don't mean to sound critical, but I hope you are still manually logging your jumps in a book and getting signatures. While I understand it is terribly vogue to be in the digital age, if you are applying for advanced awards (gold, diamond, FF wings, etc) and ratings, then you had better have them on paper to show the BOD member who you want to sign your paperwork. Some of those guys are not going to give you credit for anything that does not have a signature (like your pro-track data), so do the right thing. Chuck "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

Easy, boy. Don't piss off the Alabama native. Chuck "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

"I say, you're smart boy, you're smart, but you're stupid!" -Foghorn Leghorn "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

Not true; I think the same thing and I could care less what Icarus or anyone else says about it "officially". The photos of the crossfire from early ads are show a significantly different "heart shaped" nose than the "fish mouth" version on the current models. Look at the pictures and form your own conclusion or just find two of the canopies from both periods and compare. My conclusion after seeing both is that they are different...period. "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

Not a prob. I have another couple of volunteers, so it will all work out. Nelson:Bat Signalactivated. Check your messages. Chuck "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

You have a ton of options. Pick any jumpsuit manufacturer and tell them what's going on and they will hook you right up. For example: if you like Tony Suits, then get a Tony or a Tony Swoop, not a Pit Special. If you like Michigan (like I do), then ask for his big boy suit. There is a ton of stuff they can add or subtract to your suit to adjust your fall rate. Heavier material makes you fall slower, not having spandex on your lower arms really slows you down, etc. After your swoop cord installation, I would recommend buying a set of "slip ons" for your arms if you don't already have floppy material there. Tony Suits sells them and they work great. I have a set that I pull on my lower arms for swooping to big ways; they give me a ton of extra braking power. To find out how fast you are REALLY falling, just borrow somebody's pro-track and fall in a relaxed arch without trying to either go slow or fast. Get the data once you land, then use that, plus the description of your current suit to get your new jumpsuit manufacturer to get it where you need it. Most full-service gear shops have people that are trained to get you measured correctly and give advice on proper selection. That being said, I have always found the best fit when I get measured by the manufacturers themselves. Go to any big boogie and you will see them. Michigan gets around quite a bit, as does E.G. Skysystems, and Tony Suits. Right now, I own a Michigan comp bootie suit, two Paraclete suits (Tim DiAnnunzio), and an Airwear by Wendy. I use each for separate things, but all are great suits. I have also owned two Pit Specials that I really liked. Chuck "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

Don't tell me you are just figuring that out. "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

[Self incrimination mode] 1. about 1,200 feet with 3 other people into a demo in bad weather. "the show must go on". 800 feet on an SL army jump. 2. 1,500 feet chasing a student until his AAD fired. 3. I had actually written a lengthy answer about another jump that went terribly wrong, but this one will not come off like some "spectre230" war story, so here it is: After being knocked unconscious while shooting video for the "50th anniversary of the Coast Guard" demo in Elizabeth City, NC, and surviving with only stitches in my lip, blood all over my jumpsuit and body, a broken camera helmet, and a second degree left-shoulder dislocation, I got BACK on the airplane for the follow-up demo jump and then the jump back into Raeford. What a fucking idiot. By the way, I have all of it on video. 4. Either the MFF jump I eluded to in the previous question (two others were seriously injured), or when I thought I could cut the "unleaded gas only" restrictor in my truck's gas filler out with an acetylene torch (while it was still attached to the vehicle). I caught myself at the last possible second, put the torch down, and went and drank four beers in rapid succession. 5. Biggest kick? Swooping the PISS out of my canopy every single jump. Being good enough to be sponsored at it. That, and teaching people to skydive; I love it. 6. Grounded maybe four times in 20 years isn't bad is it? Once for taking a downplane to about 150 feet; once for launching a 30-second delay student in an 8-way; two or three times for "dangerous" landing behaviour ( a long time ago). 7. One week. 8. Descriptions above 9. There is absolutely no reason to hum it low on a skydive. ESPECIALLY not with a small eliptical; you never know what you are going to have to deal with over your head. True, being first down means you don't have to deal with traffic, but if you are being grounded, then what's the point. Also, if you dump high you can do cool shit like para-batics, sub-100 square foot CRW, and lastly (but certainly not least!): you can hang in brakes then swoop the piss out of it while everyone is watching and walking in. Glorious. Chuck "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

Personally, I think Slappies is fine, when it's working. What we need to do, though, is post a direct link to it in the pub or on the main page of this site. That way, nobody would have to dig around for it. As far as timelines go, that's tough; so many people who post here are from very-different time zones. I don't know why it wasn't done a long time ago, maybe as a room on AOL or something, seeing as how the talkback forum here and wreck-dot are mostly used as a slow speed chat room. All that ends up doing is filling server space with fluff, which of course slows down our uploads. I would really rather use a proper chat room for bullshitting and keep these forums free for question/answer and posting notices. There is no reason that those of us who basically "live" on our computers all week from nine to five should have to converse in this convoluted manner. I would much rather have a chat screen popped up so that I could see what's going on in real-real time. Chuck "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

That was a good post, but I believe I can add a bit to it. You see, the military is exactly what you make of it. If you are without direction, then it will give you one. You might not like that direction, but once again: it is exactly what you make of it. Want discipline? Then join the Army or Marines and be an Infantry grunt for an enlistment term. Do what you are told and you will be promoted way ahead of your peers that took the "cushy" soft-skill jobs (clerical, mechanics, cook, truck driver, etc). While you will probably be deployed quite a bit, the esprit de corps of those units, especially the more elite Airborne units (which you can go to "right off the street"), will make you feel "needed". This, assuming you want to get promoted out of the "nug" ranks as soon as possible. After a few years, you can then change directions completely. Want to go into a special ops unit? Go do it. Want to go to OCS and be an officer so you can double your salary? Nothing stopping you. Want to even change branch of service? Not a problem either; I know plenty that have done it. There are plenty of very-simple cake jobs in all branches of service where you will have more time to go to school or skydive, but the promotion rates are much slower there. Different branches of service also have wildly varying promotion rates for basically the same job. Odd, but there are tradeoffs: For the slower promotion rate you get in the AF, you get a better standard of living right off the bat. This carries through to career status also, as evidenced by certain AF special operators in the grade of E-5 and E-6 who make more "take home" money than Army SF E-7's. This, due to the AF's policy to allow a person to recieve specialty pay for every qualification a person has, regardless of frequency of use. For example, I am currently recieving specialty pay in the following areas: dive, parachute, language, and SF proficiency. As I am also a MFF jumpmaster and hold the 18C secondary MOS, I would be drawing MFF pay and demolitions pay if I were in the AF. In my branch, though, we have a cap which limits the amount of specialty pay one can recieve (I already max that out). As I spent two years in the Infantry and then went straight into SF as an E-4, I made E-7 in eight years total. You will NEVER see that in any other branch, but it is not uncommon in certain Army units. Granted, I was deployed overseas 10 months out of some years, but that didn't stop me from skydiving. I carry at least one rig everywhere I go and have jumped in some very cool hole-in-the-wall countries. Want to skydive? Come to Fort Bragg or Fort Campbell. Both places have very active skydiving clubs; Rucker used to have a good one too. We have two VERY active clubs on Fort Bragg; the GB club and the 82nd club. No, you don't have to be SF to jump in the GB club, and no, you don't have to be in the 82nd to jump in that club. There are lots of Airforce personnel in the GB club and lots of COSCOM nugs in the 82nd club. Same goes for the demonstration teams! Both are great places to get all the demo experience neccessary to pass Golden Knights tryouts. The teams will take you on with very few jumps and work you in at the base level. The 82nd team actually pays for all their team member jumps, so long as they are wearing the team uniform and jumping team gear. Both clubs are also a great place to work on your ratings, be they instructional or rigging. You will see people from every branch of service on your local dropzone, assuming it is near enough to drive. Southern California DZ's are inundated with Navy skydivers and Instructors. North Carolina DZ's are saturated with Army, Airforce, and Marine jumpers from E-1 82nd band kids, to E-8 Delta Operators, to 0-5 Battalion Commanders. All, of course, on a first name basis, because the dropzone is neutral territory. Being a higher rank than me will not get you onto mine or anyone else's skydive if you suck and act like the caste system is in place out there; it is not. Have a particular geographic location you would want to live in and be stationed near? Then research it and see if there are any jobs you might want on that post (regardless of branch of service). Flexibility is the key. Sit down and write out a list of what you think you would like to do in general terms. Next, decide how important it is to have free time and how much money you want to have available. Decide if you want to have time to go to school. As stated previously, there are TONS of education opportunities on military posts. School is nearly free and hours are set up to accomodate to the military. If you want to go to OCS and become an officer, you need only accumulate 60 hours (two years, but no degree) of college on your own attend. I have plenty of friends that have done it simply to have more skydiving money and I really can't blame them; they didn't do it to "be in charge" or because they were tired of being bossed around. You can apply to OCS up until your 32nd birthday with a waiver. You can also apply to warrant officer candidate school almost any time you like. That is probably the easiest way to get into flight school if you want to drive helicopters for a living. Be advised, though, that those guys work a lot and get sent to some miserable places. In the end, I would like to close by saying that I have had a very rewarding career. I could have made much more of myself, but liked my job and pay enough that I never swerved off the path into another field. The military paid for every bit of my college education, sent me all over the world, allowed me to make friends with skydivers all over the place, and gave me every opportunity to better myself. Regrets? Only maybe that I should have went to OCS or the SF WOC course about 10 years ago when I was asked about it. Would I have been a different person for doing so? No, but I certainly could have used the cash for MORE SKYDIVES! Chuck Blue D-12501 "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

Keith, I don't think I will have a problem getting back on the 5th and would appreciate the ride, assuming Jeanie doesn't REALLY want to come get me