bill2

I scored 18.

Okay Bill, I was planning on working hard (at work!) but you pulled me in with this thread. It's your fault I'm not working now. From what I've heard and read on the casualty figures, the 4000 # is high. It comes from interviewing several people who were seeing the same bombings and each of them saw the same people killed. I'm not saying that there were no civilians killed, just that it's not that many. I do think the US should be given credit for trying to minimalize the number of civilian casualties. Which in many media outlets it is not. As for bombing Japan, the decison was made at the time with the best information possible. It's easy to sit on the sidelines 50 years later and say we shouldn't have done that, but it's a big difference when you are responsible for the decision. We did save a lot of lives by dropping those bombs, whether or not it was more than what was lost is irrelevant. Japan started that war, and treated all nations in Asia horribly, and our prisoners just as bad (read Ghost Soldiers to see). Also, I'm sure you can find Chinese who survived the rape of Nanking who think the US did the right thing. And remember, the two countries that the Allies defeated in WWII are now our allies. I think that part of that was due to our so decisively crushing them. We can't say the same about Iraq and the gulf war, or North Korea. I think you or someone in this thread made the comment about there being nothing worse than war. I think there is, when you become so fearful of dying or getting hurt that you submit to anyone who invades your country no matter what they do to you. That's a whole lot worse. Anyway, on a lighter note, Bill, are you really one of those commie-fag-pinko unpatriotic wierdo's? or are you a closet listen of Rush Limbaugh, and have "US out of UN" posters in your bedroom, and a dartboard with Hillary Clinton's picture in the center?

Those crazy Californians... _______________________ Remember, most of the nutball Californians have come from another state. I'm speaking of course, as a 5 generation Californian.

You can always do a Women in Prison night. You know, "chained heat 1", chained heat 2", I think there's a few more. Always great shots of women jumping on each other. Just add lots of beer and pizza.

As long as we're on the subject of health, here's a good reason to wear your seatbelt. see attached

It's a long one, but well worth reading. It's by an Italian journalist named Oriana Fallaci. On Jew-hatred in Europe By Oriana Fallaci April 17, 2002 Originally published in Corriere della Sera. Translation by Chris and Paola Newman I find it shameful that in Italy there should be a procession of individuals dressed as suicide bombers who spew vile abuse at Israel, hold up photographs of Israeli leaders on whose foreheads they have drawn the swasitka, incite people to hate the Jews. And who, in order to see Jews once again in the extermination camps, in the gas chambers, in the ovens of Dachau and Mauthausen and Buchenwald and Bergen-Belsen et cetera, would sell their own mother to a harem. I find it shameful that the Catholic Church should permit a bishop, one with lodgings in the Vatican no less, a saintly man who was found in Jerusalem with an arsenal of arms and explosives hidden in the secret compartments of his sacred Mercedes, to participate in that procession and plant himself in front of a microphone to thank in the name of God the suicide bombers who massacre the Jews in pizzerias and supermarkets. To call them “martyrs who go to their deaths as to a party.” I find it shameful that in France, the France of Liberty-Equality-Fraternity, they burn synagogues, terrorize Jews, profane their cemeteries. I find it shameful that the youth of Holland and Germany and Denmark flaunt the kaffiah just as Mussolini’s avant garde used to flaunt the club and the fascist badge. I find it shameful that in nearly all the universities of Europe Palestinian students sponsor and nurture anti-semitism. That in Sweden they asked that the Nobel Peace Prize given to Shimon Peres in 1994 be taken back and conferred on the dove with the olive branch in his mouth, that is on Arafat. I find it shameful that the distinguished members of the Committee, a Committee that (it would appear) rewards political color rather than merit, should take this request into consideration and even respond to it. In hell the Nobel Prize honors he who does not receive it. I find it shameful (we’re back in Italy) that state-run television stations contribute to the resurgent antisemitism, crying only over Palestinian deaths while playing down Israeli deaths, glossing over them in unwilling tones. I find it shameful that in their debates they host with much deference the scoundrels with turban or kaffiah who yesterday sang hymns to the slaughter at New York and today sing hymns to the slaughters at Jerusalem, at Haifa, at Netanya, at Tel Aviv. I find it shameful that the press does the same, that it is indignant because Israeli tanks surround the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem, that it is not indignant because inside that same church two hundred Palestinian terrorists well armed with machine guns and munitions and explosives (among them are various leaders of Hamas and Al-Aqsa) are not unwelcome guests of the monks (who then accept bottles of mineral water and jars of honey from the soldiers of those tanks). I find it shameful that, in giving the number of Israelis killed since the beginning of the Second Intifada (four hundred twelve), a noted daily newspaper found it appropriate to underline in capital letters that more people are killed in their traffic accidents. (Six hundred a year). I find it shameful that the Roman Observer, the newspaper of the Pope--a Pope who not long ago left in the Wailing Wall a letter of apology for the Jews--accuses of extermination a people who were exterminated in the millions by Christians. By Europeans. I find it shameful that this newspaper denies to the survivors of that people (survivors who still have numbers tattooed on their arms) the right to react, to defend themselves, to not be exterminated again. I find it shameful that in the name of Jesus Christ (a Jew without whom they would all be unemployed), the priests of our parishes or Social Centers or whatever they are flirt with the assassins of those in Jerusalem who cannot go to eat a pizza or buy some eggs without being blown up. I find it shameful that they are on the side of the very ones who inaugurated terrorism, killing us on airplanes, in airports, at the Olympics, and who today entertain themselves by killing western journalists. By shooting them, abducting them, cutting their throats, decapitating them. (There’s someone in Italy who, since the appearance of Anger and Pride, would like to do the same to me. Citing verses of the Koran he exorts his “brothers” in the mosques and the Islamic Community to chastise me in the name of Allah. To kill me. Or rather to die with me. Since he’s someone who speaks English well, I’ll respond to him in English: “Fuck you.”) I find it shameful that almost all of the left, the left that twenty years ago permitted one of its union processionals to deposit a coffin (as a mafioso warning) in front of the synagogue of Rome, forgets the contribution made by the Jews to the fight against fascism. Made by Carlo and Nello Rossini, for example, by Leone Ginzburg, by Umberto Terracini, by Leo Valiani, by Emilio Sereni, by women like my friend Anna Maria Enriques Agnoletti who was shot at Florence on June 12, 1944, by seventy-five of the three-hundred-thirty-five people killed at the Fosse Ardeatine, by the infinite others killed under torture or in combat or before firing squads. (The companions, the teachers, of my infancy and my youth.) I find it shameful that in part through the fault of the left--or rather, primarily through the fault of the left (think of the left that inaugurates its congresses applauding the representative of the PLO, leader in Italy of the Palestinians who want the destruction of Israel)--Jews in Italian cities are once again afraid. And in French cities and Dutch cities and Danish cities and German cities, it is the same. I find it shameful that Jews tremble at the passage of the scoundrels dressed like suicide bombers just as they trembled during Krystallnacht, the night in which Hitler gave free rein to the Hunt of the Jews. I find it shameful that in obedience to the stupid, vile, dishonest, and for them extremely advantageous fashion of Political Correctness the usual opportunists--or better the usual parasites--exploit the word Peace. That in the name of the word Peace, by now more debauched than the words Love and Humanity, they absolve one side alone of its hate and bestiality. That in the name of a pacifism (read conformism) delegated to the singing crickets and buffoons who used to lick Pol Pot’s feet they incite people who are confused or ingenuous or intimidated. Trick them, corrupt them, carry them back a half century to the time of the yellow star on the coat. These charlatans who care about the Palestinans as much as I care about the charlatans. That is not at all. I find it shameful that many Italians and many Europeans have chosen as their standard-bearer the gentleman (or so it is polite to say) Arafat. This nonentity who thanks to the money of the Saudi Royal Family plays the Mussolini ad perpetuum and in his megalomania believes he will pass into History as the George Washington of Palestine. This ungrammatical wretch who when I interviewed him was unable even to put together a complete sentence, to make articulate conversation. So that to put it all together, write it, publish it, cost me a tremendous effort and I concluded that compared to him even Ghaddafi sounds like Leonardo da Vinci. This false warrior who always goes around in uniform like Pinochet, never putting on civilian garb, and yet despite this has never participated in a battle. War is something he sends, has always sent, others to do for him. That is, the poor souls who believe in him. This pompous incompetent who playing the part of Head of State caused the failure of the Camp David negotiations, Clinton’s mediation. No-no-I-want-Jerusalem-all-to-myself. This eternal liar who has a flash of sincerity only when (in private) he denies Israel’s right to exist, and who as I say in my book contradicts himself every five minutes. He always plays the double-cross, lies even if you ask him what time it is, so that you can never trust him. Never! With him you will always wind up systematically betrayed. This eternal terrorist who knows only how to be a terrorist (while keeping himself safe) and who during the Seventies, that is when I interviewed him, even trained the terrorists of Baader-Meinhof. With them, children ten years of age. Poor children. (Now he trains them to become suicide bombers. A hundred baby suicide bombers are in the works: a hundred!). This weathercock who keeps his wife at Paris, served and revered like a queen, and keeps his people down in the shit. He takes them out of the shit only to send them to die, to kill and to die, like the eighteen year old girls who in order to earn equality with men have to strap on explosives and disintegrate with their victims. And yet many Italians love him, yes. Just like they loved Mussolini. And many other Europeans do the same. I find it shameful and see in all this the rise of a new fascism, a new nazism. A fascism, a nazism, that much more grim and revolting because it is conducted and nourished by those who hypocritically pose as do-gooders, progressives, communists, pacifists, Catholics or rather Christians, and who have the gall to label a warmonger anyone like me who screams the truth. I see it, yes, and I say the following. I have never been tender with the tragic and Shakespearean figure Sharon. (“I know you’ve come to add another scalp to your necklace,” he murmured almost with sadness when I went to interview him in 1982.) I have often had disagreements with the Israelis, ugly ones, and in the past I have defended the Palestinians a great deal. Maybe more than they deserved. But I stand with Israel, I stand with the Jews. I stand just as I stood as a young girl during the time when I fought with them, and when the Anna Marias were shot. I defend their right to exist, to defend themselves, to not let themselves be exterminated a second time. And disgusted by the antisemitism of many Italians, of many Europeans, I am ashamed of this shame that dishonors my Country and Europe. At best, it is not a community of States, but a pit of Pontius Pilates. And even if all the inhabitants of this planet were to think otherwise, I would continue to think so.

What and where is Bridge Day?

Well, obviously my first post was meant to at a bit of levity to the situation. As far as the "as the prop turns" attitude found around many dropzones (especially the student training vendors!): unfortunately, that is a fact of life. Some people are straight-up trophy hunters and their antics are despicable. It's bad for business and especially bad for the overall dropzone "vibe". Chuckie ___________________________________________-- I think this sort of thing always go on in all sports/hobbies/activities. I used to teach martial arts, and I was always hearing stories about teachers hitting on new students (female). At one school instructors weren't allowed to date students until they hit red belt (just below black). I think the ancient art of horndogging will always be with us.

In reply to: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- As an American, I'm amused when every other country thinks the US way of doing anything is so wrong, -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's my observation that the USA wants the rest of the world to be like the USA. __________________________________ The USA would be happy to let the rest of the world do its own thing. The problem is that, when there's a flareup or natural disaster somewhere, people want the US to go in and fix it. If we don't fix it, then we're selfish isolationist filth. If we do go in and fix, then we're imperialist blood sucking capitalists. I don't think the US has the answer to everything, but I don't see people risking death to sneak into Iraq/Egypt/China to live that lifestyle either. If you don't want us nasty imperialists to force our way of life on you, then don't keep expecting the US to keep fixing up the world's problems. Expecially when many times what caused them, or prevents that region from cleaning it up themselves, is their political system or way of life. And if we are expected to keep cleaning them up, then you can bet that we have the right to insist on some changes in the way they run their country. Democracy and capitalism may not be the final answer to all our problems but it sure as hell beats socialism/communism/royal houses/dictatorships, etc.

So, Britain didn't promise the Palestinians a homeland in exchange for help in WW1 then? The name Lawrence of Arabia ring a bell? If you are going to point fingers, then how about Britain promising that land first to the Palestinians and then to the Jews after WW2? Don't really agree with either of the two Bills... (guess that means I'm sitting on the fence somewhere between the radical right and left, dodging bullets and white dove shit! ) Will ____________________________ No arguements there, Will. That particular area of land has changed hands countless times for the past couple of thousand years. We should be pointing the finger at Britain, although I'm sure the Brits will have something to say about that. I'm not saying that Israel is the innocent here, I don't think there are any innocents in this conflict besides the children, but I get tired of the way Israel is always portrayed as the bad guy here and the Palestinians are the pure and helpless underdogs. How about some of those peace activists from Europe and US who are acting as shields for the Palestinians going to Israel to act as shields for the suicide/homicde bombers to protect the Jews from the Palestinians?

I'm willing to volunteer for the peacekeeping force, and am available for duty right now. I'll just tell my wife I'm doing my patriotic duty.

why can't you jump it? ___________________________ I don't know about Jason, but you've got to have an A license and 50 jumps to do the helicopter jumps. I'm not quite there yet.

Careful there! If that's terrorism, what is bombing a country and killing three thousand innocent civilians? What is developing new bombs designed specifically to kill people who try to hide? __________________________ Civilians have died in every war. I think the US has made a huge effort to minimize the killing of civilians in Afghanastan. Far more than Al Queda ever did. What would the alternative be? We should defend ourselves against any country that attacks us, because we're afraid of killing civilians? And what's wrong with developing better bombs? they're trying to hide in caves, and we should play fair and go run up the hill with pistols and lose our own guys? No way, if the technology exists that will help our side and minimize our casualties, we should use it.

Here's the fatal flaw in your argument - Hitler has no more power, inherently, than the crazy guy on the corner of the street who shouts about the second coming. His power comes from people, the very people who you claim he doesn't give a damn about. __________________________________________ That's not a fatal flaw in my arguement, I meant that Hitler did not care about people who were not "pure" Germans. He wanted to kill Jews, gypsies, gays, anyone he called a "mongrel" race. He cared about those "pure Germans, as long as they did what he wanted. But he simply did not care about anyone else, and would kill them as easily as you or I take a breath. Lethal force did work, and worked well. I'm not saying that it's the only way, but when it is needed there simply is no substitute. As I stated earlier, people like him see talking/negotiating as a sign of weakness. Remember, the Allied powers destroyed Germany and Japan. Then we went in and helped rebuild both societies. Remember the Marshall plan? The reason lunatics succeed is that they convince their followers they are sane. Hitler's greatness was not in his evil - there have been plenty of more evil people trying to do far more evil things. His greatness came from his charisma, his political skills, and his perfect timing. ________________________________ I agree, but however you want to define his greatness or his evil, the only way to stop him was through violence. Sad but true. Often, trying to blow such people to bits does no more than convince the people who obey the evil leader that he is right - the US _is_ bent on murder, and they must stand loyally with the one force of good they know. ________________________________ Germany and Japan are our allies now. We should have taken out Sadam and the Republican guard back in the gulf war, we wouldn't be having so much trouble now. Remember, that Sadam is paying suicide bombers' families a reward for what they are doing in Israel. And that's why pacifism works. It's easy to train an army to go and shoot up another army. It's much harder to train them to kill civilians, unless they have a much stronger belief - and such a belief is only maintainable if the other side is really justifiably going after them. In Germany, it was the crippling post-WWI sanctions by the victors. For Arabs, it is the constant killing of their kind by US built and purchased gunships. Bin Laden didn't need to lie about the US to recruit his followers - he just had to turn on CNN. ___________________________________ How about the constant killing of Jews by Arabs? Remember, it's the Arabs who have stated again and again for decades that they want to exterminate all Jews. How many Jews do you think would be alive if the military situation were reversed, i.e., if the Arabs had the military competence and the Jews did not? And how often do Arab countries get open news casts. Their societies are very controlled, and information to them has been greatly massaged before they hear it. The vast majority of Muslim and Arab countries are not democracies, and their governments are quite happy to focus their people's anger on the US and Israel. It keeps them from thinking about why they are doing so poorly.

Well, I have to disagree with that. I think that, if reducing bloodshed is your objective, we have more to learn from Ghandi, Martin Luther King, and Mandela than Roosevelt, Churchill or Stalin. If there is a 'good' way to have a revolution against an opressive government, India discovered it in 1947. ____________________________________ And here I have to disagree with you. Pacifism works fine in theory, until you are up against someone with no moral standards or inhibitions. Bin Laden/Hitler, people who hate a particular group of people, simply will not stop unless force is used against them. Britain cared about world opinion; Ghandi made them look bad. But that only matters if you care about world opinion. if like Hitler, you plan on running the whole planet, you won't give a damn about what other people think, or if they suffer, or even if they live. Pacifists, for all their courage in doing what they do, ultimately still need someone who will stand up for them. If not, they will be slaughtered. Just ask descendents/relatives of all the Jews who went to the ovens in such a cooperative fashion in WWII.

I think if you looked you would find that countries like Canada do take the lead. I even gave you a few keys in some of my previous posts as pointers as to where you might start looking. The only difference is that countries like Canada, Swiss, Japan, and a few others believe in a form of leadership that DOESN'T involve Bill's 300 pound Gorilla. _____________________________________ Are you saying I need to do some serious looking to find examples of Canadian leadership? The US has taken the lead in a number of nasty incidents, mainly because its military was the only one that could handle the requirements. As for all those countries that practice such a great form of leadership, who will ending up footing the bill? I have a feeling that it won't be Canada, Japan, or Switzerland. We pay the most, in terms of dollars and lives, so we should be able to call the tune the way we want to. If you don't like that, put up your own money,lives and military.

As a Canadian, I'm humored every time I see the US claim to be world leaders. They seem to only lead when they want to. Leading implies that people follow you, which only seems to happen in a few recent military conflicts. By this standard alone, the US clearly is not a leader. __________________________________ As an American, I'm amused when every other country thinks the US way of doing anything is so wrong, and when everything hits the fan runs to us for help. and of course American lives since they have spent so little on their own militaries that they are not much use themselves. Canada should feel free to take charge anytime it thinks it can do better. The only reason I see the US as a world figure at all are those occaisions such as 9/11 when the us is forced onto the world stage. On all other occaisions the world sees the US as a country that would much rather hide within its walls. The classic example is that Jesse Helms who recently retired as that chairman of the Foreign Relations comitee has literally NEVER travelled abroad. __________________________________ You're right, Americans do tend to have a tendency to be isolationist. We also tend to get tired of cleaning up other people's messes - Kosovo, WWI and II, Korea. and being taken for granted in this too. As for the remark about Jesse Helms, in any instititution you get assholes. I'm sure there's plenty of them to go around in Canada. Based on your logic, I should say that the French (who's Ambassador to Britain referred to Israel as "that shitty little country") is composed of anti-semitic scum. Of course based on the number of synagogues that have been burned and the number of Jews attacked lately in France maybe that's true.

I think it's true that the US is seen as something of a leader in world politics. Unfortunately, I think Israel has learned the lessons we teach a little too well. They have learned that violence is preferable to negotiation, and that military action is a good substitute for diplomacy. I find myself wishing they had a better teacher. _________________________________________ While it's wrong to always use military force as a first option, diplomacy many times simply will not suffice. If Neville Chamberlin had used less diplomacy and more force, WWII might have not been so bloody. As it was, Hitler was the type who saw negotiations as a sign of weakness. He kept taking, and the western powers kept talking. Look what it led to.

A California journalist who is suing the city of Escondido claiming it violated his civil rights and those of others who use assistance dogs by keeping a hostile cat in the municipal library is now calling the attack a hate crime, reports KNSD-TV in San Diego. Richard Espinosa, a former reporter for the North County Times, added the allegation to a $1.5 million lawsuit he filed against the city in November. Espinosa was on assignment at the city library when his 50-pound Labrador mix, Kimba, was attacked by L.C., the library cat. The suit contends the city is guilty of a hate crime for putting the welfare of its "dangerous cat" above people with disabilities. Espinosa, who sees perfectly well, relies on the state-certified assistance dog to help him deal with anxiety attacks and other health problems. He hopes the lawsuit will educate the public about the legal rights of people with "hidden disabilities."

Welcome to Florida, Stacy! So, have you gotten up close and personal with a palmetto bug yet? ________________________________________ What and how big is a palmetto bug?

Oh, come on down to FL! After you jump, you can head out to the St. John's river with the rest of the locals and party and have fun. A couple weekends ago, I was petting a 2 foot gator that one of the guys grabbed out of the same river that we swim in! Yikes! Seriously though, I've lived here almost my whole life, and that's the closest I've come to a gator yet....that I know of anyway. And, just ask Emmie. Those gators are probably less threatening than a drunk Crewdog! Andi ____________________________________ If you promise there aren't any gators in the landing zone, I'll come on down.

In reply to: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tastes like Chicken! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Smells like fish....... ___________________________________________ I can see where this thread is going!

Hey, gators are good eatin'! I sure do love fried gator tail. ________________________________________________ What happens if they get the same idea about you?

A friend who lives in Florida sent this to me. Don't know where Port Charlotte is. CA may be crazy at times but we don't have this stuff happening. ______________________________________ PORT CHARLOTTE -- Stephanie Feola thought she hit an opossum on Toledo Blade Boulevard late Wednesday night. But when she leaned out the door to check her tires, she saw a long, green-black tail curling out from under her car. "The car started shaking and it was lifting the front end up," the 43-year-old driver said. "I just thought I was dead. "I was screaming. I thought it was going to come up through the floor." The nearly 7-foot-long alligator tore through the front bumper of her 2002 Mitsubishi Eclipse, leaving behind two distinct rows of teeth marks. Believe it or not, in Florida it's common for alligators to be struck by cars, said Gary Morse, spokesman for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. And when an alligator is hit, its natural reaction is to fight. "The alligator doesn't know what's going on," Morse said. "He's got a brain the size of your thumb." During the spring, gators are more prone to roam. As the weather warms up, they go on the hunt for mates, food and new territory, he said. Feola, of Port Charlotte, said she was headed home from a dinner date at about 11 p.m. when she ran over the gator at Toledo Blade and Quesada boulevards. Passers-by shouted and waved at her as the agitated gator lifted her 3,000-pound car off the ground. Feola eventually was able to throw the two-door car into reverse to get off the gator. She drove to a parking lot and called police on her cellular phone. As she waited for help, she watched the wounded gator snapping at passing cars. A trapper later caught and killed the animal, said Morse. The confrontation did about $1,000 in damage to Feola's Eclipse, which she had just bought in November. "Just my luck," she said.

> > Order in the Court, judge has 'ta spit!! > > These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things > > people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now > > published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm > > while these > > exchanges were actually taking place. Some of these are excellent - > > don't miss the last one. > > > > Q: Are you sexually active? > > A: No, I just lie there. > > > > > > Q: What is your date of birth? > > A: July fifteenth. > > Q: What year? > > A: Every year. > > > > > > Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? > > A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. > > > > > > Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? > > A: Yes. > > Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? > > A: I forget. > > Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've > > forgotten? > > > > > > Q: How old is your son, the one living with you? > > A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. > > Q: How long has he lived with you? > > A: Forty-five years. > > > > > > Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up > > that morning? > > A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" > > Q: And why did that upset you? > > A: My name is Susan. > > > > > > Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the > > occult? > > A: We both do. > > Q: Voodoo? > > A: We do. > > Q: You do? > > A: Yes, voodoo. > > > > > > Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he > > doesn't know about it until the next morning? > > > > > > Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he? > > > > > > Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? > > > > Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? > > A: Yes. > > Q: And what were you doing at that time? > > > > > > Q: She had three children, right? > > A: Yes. > > Q: How many were boys? > > A: None. > > Q: Were there any girls? > > > > Q: How was your first marriage terminated? > > A: By death. > > Q: And by whose death was it terminated? > > > > > > Q: Can you describe the individual? > > A: He was about medium height and had a beard. > > Q: Was this a male, or a female? > > > > > > Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice > > which I sent to your attorney? > > A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. > > > > > > Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? > > A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. > > > > > > Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to? > > A: Oral. > > > > > > Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? > > A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. > > Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? > > A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an > > autopsy. > > > > > > Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? > > > > > > Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a > > pulse? > > A: No. > > Q: Did you check for blood pressure? > > A: No. > > Q: Did you check for breathing? > > A: No. > > Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began > > the autopsy? > > A: No. > > Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? > > A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. > > Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? > > A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law > > somewhere > > *************************