SkydiveMonkey

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Everything posted by SkydiveMonkey

  1. Oh, and I've got a friend who knows how to pack properly coming round to help me
  2. I'm at home, and the dz doesn't open until the weekend. Until then, my canopy is going in the bag SOMEHOW. I'm not leaving it out on my floor !!
  3. As far as I know (not that much), the solution is the bungee cord between the legstraps. When you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get.
  4. Ok, as I've just got my new rig (beer), I'm having major hassle trying to get the sucker into the bag. Any tips? When you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get.
  5. Come on - I've only had it for 1/2 hour !! Getting the mother loving hornet in the bag is a pain in the ass though !! When you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get.
  6. Woohoo !!! My rig is here !! F***ing EXCELLENT stuff !! The beer will flow tonight !!
  7. I haven't had any problems with it. Strange. When you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get.
  8. Me too - how not the post whore
  9. Is it just me or is everyone talking silly? Help me !! When you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get.
  10. I normally face into wind anyway, making sure that my airspace is clear. I normally don't stow my slider, so it doesn't matter too much. When you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get.
  11. [clueless] I agree with what HH just said !! [/clueless] When you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get.
  12. I've heard they've got the vertical speed down to 18mph for an instant. Don't know what the sustainable is though. When you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get.
  13. There's one on the L&B website of a winsuit BASE jump from 3900 (or is it 2900?) with 39 second delay !! When you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get.
  14. Wouldn't it be better to face into wind in case of a bad spot etc? When you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get.
  15. Mantas etc have REALLY high riser pressure. Rears are ok, good to get yourself clear before releasing the brakes etc. It will decrease dramaticaly as you get onto smaller canopies. When you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get.
  16. Thanks, I think (not) . And it is legit Skyhawk When you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get.
  17. does that include the standard Wings, or only the one with the wnigsuit mod? When you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get.
  18. Have you got a container yet? What's the colours on that? When you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get.
  19. When you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get.
  20. I think that's why god invented tandem sliders and pocketed sliders When you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get.
  21. Amazingly, due to pressure from feminists, Guinness have been forced to publish a FEMALE version of the Guinness Book of Records. Here are a few a excerpts from the British edition: CAR PARKING: The smallest kerbside space successfully reversed into by a woman was one of 19.36m (63ft 2ins), equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs Elizabeth Simpkins, driving an unmodified Vauxhall Nova 'Swing' on 12 October 1993. She started the manoeuvre at 11.15am in Ropergate, Pontefract, and successfully parked within three feet of the pavement 8 hours 14 minutes later. There was slight damage to the bumpers and wings of her own and two adjoining cars, as well as a shop frontage and two lamp posts. FILM CONFUSION: The greatest length of time a woman has watched a film with her husband without asking a stupid plot-related question was achieved on the 28 October 1990, when Mrs Ethel Brunswick sat down with her husband to watch 'The Ipcress File'. She watched in silence for a breath-taking 2 mins 40 secs before asking, "Is he a goodie or a baddie, him in the glasses?" This broke her own record set in 1962 when she sat through 2 mins 38 secs of '633 Squadron' before asking, "Is this a war film, is it?" INCORRECT DRIVING: The longest journey completed with the handbrake on was one of 504 km (313 miles) from Stranraer to Holyhead by Dr Julie Thorn (GB) at the wheel of a Saab 900 on the 2 April 1987. Dr Thorn smelled burning two miles into her journey at Aird but pressed on to Holyhead with smoke billowing from the rear wheels. This journey also holds the records for the longest completed journey with the choke fully out and the right indicator flashing. JUMBLE SALE MASSACRE: The greatest number of old ladies to perish whilst fighting at a jumble sale is 98, at a Methodist Church Hall in Castleford, West Yorkshire on 12 February 1991. When the doors opened at 10.00am the initial scramble to get in cost 16 lives, a further 25 being killed in a crush at the first table. A seven-way skirmish then broke out over a pinafore dress costing 10p which escalated into a full scale melee, resulting in another 18 lives being lost. A pitched battle over a headscarf then ensued and quickly spread throughout the hall, claiming 39 old women. The jumble sale raised ?5.28 for local boy scouts. GOSSIPING: On February 18th 1992, Joyce Blatherwick, a close friend of Agnes Banbury popped round for a cup of tea and a chat, during the course of which she told Mrs Banbury, in the strictest confidence, that she was having an affair with the butcher. After Mrs Blatherwick left at 2.10pm, Mrs Banbury immediately began to tell everyone, swearing them all to secrecy. By 2.30pm she had told 128 people of the news. By 2.50pm it had risen to 372 and by 4.00pm that afternoon 2774 knew of the affair, including the local Amateur Dramatic Society, several knitting circles, a coachload of American tourists which she flagged down and the butchers wife. When a tired Mrs Banbury went to bed at 11.55pm that night, Mrs Blatherwick's affair was common knowledge to a staggering 75,338 people, enough to fill Wembley Stadium. GROUP TOILET VISIT: The record for the largest group of women to visit a toilet simultaneously is held by 147 workers at the Department of Social Security, Longbenton. At their annual Christmas celebration at a night club in Newcastle-Upon-Tyne on 12 October 1994, Mrs Beryl Crabtree got up to the toilet and was immediately followed by 146 other members of the party. Moving as a mass the group entered the toilet at 9.52pm and, after waiting for everyone to finish, emerged 2 hrs 37 mins later. SINGLE BREATH SENTENCE: An Oxfordshire woman today became the first ever to break the thirty minute barrier for talking without drawing breath. Mrs Mavis Sommers (48) of Cowley, smashed the previous record of 23 minutes when she excitedly reported an argument she'd had in the butchers to her neighbour. She ranted on for a staggering 32 mins and 12 secs without pausing for air, before going blue and collapsing in a heap on the ground. She was taken to Radcliffe Infirmary in a wheelbarrow but was released later after check-ups. At the peak of her mammoth motormouth marathon, she achieved an unbelievable 680 words per minute, repeating the main points of the story an amazing 114 times whilst her neighbour, Mrs Dolly Knowles, nodded and tutted. The last third of the sentence was delivered in a barely audible croak, the last 2 mins being mouthed only, accompanied by vigorous jesticulations and indignant spasms. When you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get.
  22. Black TearDrop SF, Hornet 170 (black, royal blue and white), with a Tempo 170 reserve. When you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get.
  23. Posh and Becks are sitting in front of the television watching the six o'clock news. The main story is a man threatening to jump off the Clifton Suspension Bridge on to the busy road below. Posh turns to Becks and says: "David, I bet you £5,000 that he jumps!" to which Beckham replies, "£5,000? Done! I bet that he doesn't." So they shake hands on the bet and continue watching. Sure enough, the man jumps and hits the road below with a loud thud. Beckham takes £5,000 out of his back pocket and hands it to Posh. But she refuses. "I can't take your money, David," she says. "The truth is, I was cheating. I saw the five o'clock news, so I knew he was going to jump." "No, babe, fair's fair" says David. "That money is yours fair and square I was cheating just as you were. I saw the five o'clock news, too. I just didn't think he would do it again." The Manchester United players are in the dressing room on Saturday, just before the game, when Roy Keane walks in. "Boss," he says, "there's a problem. I'm not playing unless I get a cortisone injection." "Hey," says Becks. "If he's having a new car, so am I." David Beckham goes shopping, and sees something interesting in the kitchen department of a large department store. "What's that?" he asks. "A Thermos flask," replies the assistant. "What does it do?" asks Becks. The assistant tells him it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. Really impressed, Beckham buys one and takes it along to his next training session. "Here, boys, look at this," Beckham says proudly. "It's a Thermos flask." The lads are impressed. "What does it do?" they ask. "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold, "says David. "And what have you got in it?" asks Roy Keane. "Two cups of coffee and a Choc ice," replies David. Posh takes her car into a garage to have some dents removed. The mechanic, knowing she isn't the brightest Spice Girl in the world, decides to play a joke on her. "You don't need me to take those dents out," he says. "Just blow up the exhaust pipe and the metal will pop back into place". So she takes the car home and tries it. David spots her from the house, opens a window and shouts "You silly cow! You have to wind the windows up first!" David Beckham is celebrating: "57 days, 57 days!" he shouts happily. Posh asks him why he is celebrating. He answers: "Well, I've done this jigsaw in only 57 days." "Is that good?" asks Posh. "You bet," says David. "It says 3 to 5 years on the box." David Beckham had a near-death experience the other day when he went riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bucking up and down out of control. He tried with all his might to hang on but it was no good. With his foot caught in the stirrup, he fell head first to the ground. His head continued to bump on the ground as the horse refused to stop or even slow down. Fortunately, however, there was a happy ending. Just as he was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Woolworth's' manager came along and unplugged it. When you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get.