wartload

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Everything posted by wartload

  1. wartload
    Not really. Should I be?
  2. wartload
    Yes. I see it. A "fluffer" is NOT the lady who makes the pillows all puffy when she makes the beds at Embassy Suites ... but that could be a sideline for her.
  3. wartload
    Grammatical corrections from SC??? Are you SURE you go to Clemson? By the way ... where's that at?
  4. wartload
    Everyone's welcome to their own opinions, but I only find high school drama class productions "charming" when they are very well-done. Clerks just struck me as being a very average high-school production.
  5. wartload
    A woman in church and a woman in the shower? (The woman in church has HOPE IN HER SOUL) A tribe of pygmies and a girls' track team? (Pygmies are CUNNING LITTLE RUNTS) Ok ... you get the idea ... add yours ...
  6. wartload
    Clerks This was the worst POS ever to be sold on tape. It could have been improved with a hammer.
  7. wartload

    Southerners

    wartload replied to BillyVance's topic in The Bonfire

    An elderly gent from rural Alabama was driving into town one day. As he approached a high bridge, he saw what appeared to be a young man ... about to jump. He raced onto the bridge and tried to talk the fellow out of ending his life. "Think of your parents, son! They'd be devastated!" "I never knew my parents. I'm an orphan." "Then think of your brothers and sisters. They'd be even more alone without you!" "I don't have any." "Surely someone will miss you ... have you a wife?" "I did, but she ran away with my only friend." Reaching for one last opportunity, the old man tried a different approach ... "Then think of Robert E. Lee! Would you have him know that a good Southern boy died the death of a coward?" "Who's Robert E. Lee?" "Jump, you yankee bastard!"
  8. wartload
    What do you say to a woman who has two black eyes? Nothing ... you've already told her twice! (Disclaimer ... this is only funny because it is SO WRONG!)
  9. wartload
    Had it for about 20 years. I used to spend all day around 2-stroke engines, running at full power. Mine never went away, but I got used to it. Now I'm only aware of it when something like this reminds me, or when I realize that I can't pick out what someone's saying when they are speaking softly, or there's other background noise.
  10. wartload
    Us too. Ole'!
  11. wartload
    I'll also bet you that none of those same students ever had any need of knowing how much wheat a wagon could carry.
  12. wartload
    What's happening on June 4?
  13. wartload
    Also, starting young and being active in the pre-AIDS days.
  14. wartload
    Bumper sticker: DYSLEXICS UNTIE!
  15. wartload
    I have two favorites: Everyone knows that ducks fly in a "V-shaped" formation, but have you ever noticed that one side's longer than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more ducks on that side. ============= A city feller was driving around in the country one day, when he spotted a curious sight. A farmer was holding a pig up to an apple tree. He stopped to watch as the farmer let the piggy sniff at apples until he found one that he liked, then picked that apple and gave it to him. Then he picked up another piggy and went through the process again. Finally, the city guy couldn't contain himself any longer. He yelled out the window, "Hey! You there! What the hell are you doing?!!" The farmer calmly answered back, "Feedin' apples to my pigs." "Yeah, I can see that, but it's the way that you are doing it. Are you too stupid to see how much time it wastes to do it that way???" Again unflapped, the farmer replied, "Yeah ... but what's time to a pig?"
  16. wartload
    14% pure ... 86% hell-bound and grinnin'!
  17. wartload
    Same generation ... and same percent "pure" (14%). There were a couple ofthings that I *would* have done, but never had the opportunity. And there were some few that I just am NOT into ... I require my partners to be living, and at least technically human.
  18. wartload
    Geez ... it seems like the porn folks have been seeking these out! What I find funniest are the "straight" businesses who don't (?) realize that their number spells out something like, "800-HUGE-ASS", or "800-POMPOUS" (this last one is for a gov't contractor's tech support branch).
  19. wartload
    I was stuck in traffic the other day, when the thought struck me ... who has certain "800" numbers, and do they have any idea that's what the alphabetic version of their number is. For example, I wondered who has "800-DUMB-ASS", so I called it and got what appeared to be a credit counseling organization. Of course, I *had* to try "800-FUCK-YOU", but the message that I got there was mysterious ... I didn't try the other number given in the recording. "800-YOU-SUCK" appears to be some sort of secondary number for a phone sex biz. "800-SCROTUM" sounded like a law firm ... not sure HOW firm, though. Can you think of any others, call them, and post the results? Who has "800-EAT-SHIT"? How about "800-ERECTED"? "800-NICE-TIT"? "800-BUGGERY"? "800-BITE-ONE"? "800-SKY-DIVE"? "800-OLD-FART"? "800-HUMP-HER"? "800-BIG-FAKE"? This could be fun! If anyone passes this idea on to Leno, have his people send me a check.
  20. wartload
    I didn't know that creativity was required for a job at McD's ... thought that drooling on the application (in any language) would be sufficient.
  21. wartload
    Had I known, I would have added, "fellation" ... a whole country full of cock-suckers.
  22. wartload
    She certainly has nothing to be ashamed of!
  23. wartload
    It's a type of pepper ... not surprisingly called a "peter pepper"
  24. wartload
    Ummm ... I've heard a *rumor* that a woman wore these to her college graduation a couple of years ago, giving the controller to a good friend. Apparently there were others in the crowd with the same plan, because the friend remembered pushing the button less than 10 times (one prolonged time as she walked and received), but the new graduate said they kept going off, and off, and off ...!
  25. wartload
    I'd have wanted my parents to teach me more about how the adult world works, but suspect that it was a mystery to them, too. Next Q ... How do you think people will feel about their "tats" when they are grandparents?