Michele

This has been a really interesting conversation. A someone who can only solo at the moment (stil working for that "A" - perhaps tomorrow), I am generally last out, or just before the students. And because I am not terribly great at spotting, I will not hesitate to ask the pilot to go 'round. As a result, I tend to be either last or near last to the ground. When I am on the ground, I do make it a point to scan for people I know to be jumping. I also look for freebags and mains floating in the breeze, or someone landing way off. I have not hesitated to point it out to the S&TA if he's around, or one of the many staffers who walk around. I wonder if there are people who do that for me, and I don't know it? I figure that's likely, because that's the mentality at our DZ. There are lots of eyes on the sky. Thanks again for the excellent reminder for us who do, and good suggestion for those who don't. Ciels- Michele "What of the dreams that never die? Turn to your left at the end of the sky". ~e e cummings~

Morning, Donna. Well, you know, that is *the* question. How we (yes, you too) get back in the air after a scare. After the mal, it was really tough. But after the downwinder, it was not even a question. What changed? I think that what changed for me was the understanding that the fear is not "out there", an actual thing. It's not a tree, a rock, a building. It is in my head, and because it is part of me, I can change it. I can control it. I get to be in charge. I recall figuring that out about the imagination - it's mine, so why not stop imagining all the bad things, and imagine all the good things, instead? I also focus on all the incredible things that jumping has given me, and continues to give me: the joy, the freedom, the deepening understanding of myself and of people, and the connection I feel with the world when I am soaring under canopy, cruising over the ground, watching the shadows dance and seeing hawks race the thermals. I try to remember that who I am is more than the fear, bigger than the fear, and that fear is - just a part - and *not all*, of this thing we do. And while it doesn't make the fear go away, it puts it in context. Then I get on the plane and have my actions follow through with what I believe about myself: that I can handle this, that I want this. And then, out the door, reaching for the sun, and looking for the sky. Under canopy, and then touch down, in a little puff of dirt. My actions are what matter, not my fear. My actions - it's what makes my fear go away. Because fear is not an action. It is a thought, and thoughts can be changed by action. Just my $.02. Donna, go and jump. It won't go away by itself. Take action to change it. Go jump, sweetie, fly and be happy. ciels- Michele "What of the dreams that never die? Turn to your left at the end of the sky". ~e e cummings~

My cat, Esse, has asked me to add her contribution: When the human is sitting on the toilet, you must - must - attack it's foot. It is trapped for a moment, and you can maim them without retaliation. This is especially good if you are mad at them for something, since they generally have nothing to throw at you near at hand. My cat Bitch Kitty asked me to contribute the following, as well (she can't stand to be left out): In addition to the waking methods described above, unsheath your claws and walk on their back. Poke them with your claws, to make sure they cannot roll over and go back to sleep. Jump up and down on their back if they are insistent in returning to sleep. And then, when they blink, stick your cold nose in their eye. This will guarantee that they will stay awake. Ciels from Michele's cats Bitch and Esse "What of the dreams that never die? Turn to your left at the end of the sky". ~e e cummings~

Yum, salsa, pico de gallo, and lots of jalepenos....... "What of the dreams that never die? Turn to your left at the end of the sky". ~e e cummings~

Go, Anne, go!!!!!!!! And I will be wishing you blues, many and many minutes of blues, for you to enjoy.

Hey, Falln Yeah, that's a possibility.... "What of the dreams that never die? Turn to your left at the end of the sky". ~e e cummings~

Dear Biguns: I have two guesses. And if either one is right, I'll eat my shoe. Spectre 230 WHY: e-mail addy is "freeflynhigh@hotmail.com", as is the listed e-mail on your bio. However, the rest of your info on your e-mail addy is not accurate. I have a consideration that this is not accurate, as well, but there is no way to check. However, the rest fits well. Lives is the south, and the southern half of the western half of the US. He has posted within the last 14 days (numerous times), and he likely wouldn't think we'd guess. He is an active jumper. Macaulay: WHY: While he doesn't live in the southern 1/2 of the Western US, his home DZ is listed as Elsinore, which is clearly in the southern half of the western US. He last posted on 8/18, which is 6 days ago, and he has a new g/f who dances with flaming sticks and chains, and is, to quote him, "awesome". He is an active jumper when he has the $$ (when he can mooch it from his parents...lol), and has recently had his canopy relined. Furthermore, GiaKrebs is a freind of his, and has posted on this thread with a few "guesses" of their own, which would fit as an attempt to throw off other people...(lol). Lastly, he is one of the few who has not yet posted to this thread. Just my .02. And no, before you guys get all wired, I am not interested in seeing her chi-chi's....I just can't resist a mystery..... ciels- Michele "What of the dreams that never die? Turn to your left at the end of the sky". ~e e cummings~

I started to jump as a remedy to the serious, dangerous depression which followed an incredibly abusive and violent marriage. I needed to learn to trust myself, to make and then to follow through with indpendent decisions again. In business I was (and am) fine with this, but in my personal life, I was just paralyzed. I was so used to following orders I couldn't figure out how to take care of myself (o.k., a little exaggerated, but only a little...). I sat there one day (April 28th), trying to think about what I could do to change this, and change it in a hurry. Bungy jumping and skydiving were the only things I cold think of. And bungy jumping was just not an option. I thought I would just do a tandem, but then thought about why I was doing this: trusting myself, and following through. It occurred to me that if I didn't pull (couldn't trust myself, couldn't follow through), then I would die. Pretty extreme, but that was the thought process. So I chose AFF. May 6th, 2001, I pitched out of a plane as a Level 1 AFF'er. And have not been the same since. Everything in my world has changed. And it's wonderful. Unlike most of you, you have dreamed of flying. I am scared to death of planes. To get me in one you usually have to pour lots of liquor in me, and let me sleep until we have landed. I am scared of heights - I get ill if I am near a window on a high rise.....not the case when I am jumping. I have never dreamed of flying, at least until very recently (like last week). I am not a thrill seeker. I am an experience seeker. I am an adventure seeker. I needed to change my life, to get yanked out of my comfort zone, to see past the sides of the box I was living in - no, existing in...and I have succeeded resoundingly. I have the confidence now which was lacking. I know how to relax, to not worry as much, to not control as much. And while it is because of skydiving, it is not because of skydiving. Jumping is giving me back to myself, and I think it's cool. And there are lots of cute men in the sport, too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ciel bleu- Michele "What of the dreams that never die? Turn to your left at the end of the sky". ~e e cummings~

Omigod, Linda, I so needed to read that, especially today!!!!!!!!!!!!! Laughing too hard, wiping tears away, how excellent. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Proud to be a woman....for all the reasons stated above.... Michele "What of the dreams that never die? Turn to your left at the end of the sky". ~e e cummings~

No, Brandon, you didn't. Someone else suggested that I suggested that someone apologize to someone else.....wait, this is beginning to sound a lot like that old game "operator" where you whisper into someone's ear "there's a blue moon at sunset" and you end up with "fuck you....". What, that never happened to you? Hmmmm....perhaps that was a personal message to me......lol.. And I agree - I reread the pm, and once is/was enough....and no, while there were no names mentioned in your post, I am willing to stand up and say "twas me" who sent the pm....... ciels- M "What of the dreams that never die? Turn to your left at the end of the sky". ~e e cummings~

No, I didn't have PMS. I still don't. I am not bloated, nor am I crampy. I could use a hug, though......nah, don't touch me, I'll just bite your head off.....no, I really have no idea why I am crying, just ignore me....why don't you ever pay attention to me!!!! Hum, maybe I do have pms....(hahaha, I actually really am this bitchy all the time...) I got a bit tense with some of the commentary and I let you guys have it in pm's. Sorry for the temper tantrum; I am sick and tired of hearing that this person or that person is leaving, because of soemone's behavior/commentary on the boards....but...this is not the place to rehash it. And as to the pm's I wrote this morning, please re-read them. I didn't ask for anyone to apologize to anyone. I simply voiced my opinion, strongly and at length, about the behavior in the pub. Which is nothing new... Of someone wanted to apologize, then it was their own actions which prompted that, not me... Bygones being bygones, I am not nor was I ever the person who was the subject of the discussion. This need go no further..... ciels, and great jumps to everyone, whether they be from a 777 or a c-182... Michele "What of the dreams that never die? Turn to your left at the end of the sky". ~e e cummings~

I remember being surprised at the color of my reserve. I thought they were all yelow or red....and then being so thankful that it didn't matter what color it was...and then screaming for like 2000 feet.....But yeah, I was also relieved. Of course, it was only my 3rd jump. I am constantly relieved every time my main opens.....and always expecting to pull the handles...... good for you, Cyric! It's a good feeling to know you know what you'll do. Ciel bleus- Michele "What of the dreams that never die? Turn to your left at the end of the sky". ~e e cummings~

Wonderful story! Thanks for sharing it - I could imagine it right along with your relating it...glad for you! cils- through bomb bays or otherwise- Michele "What of the dreams that never die? Turn to your left at the end of the sky". ~e e cummings~

MM- Someday, ask me about the "Ammendation" story. If I'm drunk, I'll share it.... "What of the dreams that never die? Turn to your left at the end of the sky". ~e e cummings~

American Heritage Dictionary: "verb. Past tense is methought. Arcaic. "It seems to me"...." Yup, a word. Made most famous by Shakespeare, in MacBeth, as in the phrase "methinks the lady doth protest too much", indicating guilt by vehement protestation to the negative.

Methinks /s is waiting until Spectre gets all hot and bothered making the next 300 posts, nears 999, and then /s will jump in and snap the first 1000 post number... kinda like Post Tag, as it were.... (mouth, let's wake them up...) ciels- me "What of the dreams that never die? Turn to your left at the end of the sky". ~e e cummings~

No offense taken, Phreezone. I don't know much about anything, and you're right, Navigators and Spectres have no comparison. I really like the Spectre. I really don't like the Navigator. Thank god I was warned that Spectres take a long time opening, or I'd've been worried. lol....

Congratulations! WHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEE HHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEE!!! (and Mouth, I don't think you should worry about bothering the old folks.) ciels - many and many for you, Spectre! Michele "What of the dreams that never die? Turn to your left at the end of the sky". ~e e cummings~

Congratulations on your jumps. As I have a total of 16 jumps, 10 on student gear and 6 on a Spectre/Javelin Odessy, I have no expertise in this or any skydiving area. That being said, I think that the student stuff opens harder by a great degree. I even took to carrying aspirin so I could make it out of the car after the drive home. I have left the student gear bruised all over, from arms down to legs and most everywhere in between. I have a great opening picture of me with my legs literally over my head at line extension. Once in rental gear, I have not yet had a bruise, or anything nearing the opening shock that I felt in the student stuff. I had asked one of the instructors as to why they opened so hard, and the response was "so the student knows it's open". I don't know if he was joking or not. I do know that my one reserve ride did NOT open as hard, and when I asked why it didn't, he said I was not at terminal, and that made a difference. Just my newbie .02- ciels- Michele "What of the dreams that never die? Turn to your left at the end of the sky". ~e e cummings~

Hey, Froggie. I know you meant nothing other than to bring a smile to some faces. And after the recent mood here on the boards, it is needed, and I say thank you for that. Because this was a benign post, I decided to respond the way I have. I figured it would be more appropriate to post my concerns as a response to this post, rather than possibly instigate some sort of - idunno - fight - by making it a stand alone post. Unfortunately, thre were two folks who posted that they had been feeling and noticing similar things. I had sincerely hoped that I was being overly sensitive. Fortunately, there were several really excellent responses from old timers who explained their views, and helped explain what has been happening. Thank you for that. I can see your position much clearer, and it has to be hard for you guys to not have that small town feeling any more. But it's really hard for the new kids, too. At least for me. I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I know that I have several times felt as if obscure references were made about me, or about other new kids. It's hard, coming into a community, hard to enter into the "circle" of friends that have been established. It is hard to talk about things which happen, because I am concerned that it will be seen as "intrusive", or violate some protocol that is unwritten but obeyed instictively. It's hard, but no harder than jumping out of a plane. I suppose I am asking those folks who wish that it were the same to accept that is isn't the same, but it can be excellent for us and them, at the same time. I know I have counted on the support from these boards and from friends, unmet and unseen, to help me through some of the rougher moments in my AFF, and after my AFF. I have made friends on these boards who I value highly, and who I respect totally. I guess it just hurts to see some of these same and respected people making reference to the good old days, and how the influx of new people was disrupting the stability of the boards. THanks for making people smile, Froggie, and thanks for understanding that us new kids are struggling to feel at home here, too. ciels- Michele (p.s.: did you really - really????- brag about me? How flattering! Thanks!) "What of the dreams that never die? Turn to your left at the end of the sky". ~e e cummings~

"I am crazy and so am I"...Uhm, Spectre? It's still Tuesday.....hang out on the curb for about 18 hours, o.k? (just teasing, Spec, just teasing...) "What of the dreams that never die? Turn to your left at the end of the sky". ~e e cummings~

(can we just say that I have already practiced my downwind landing? Pleeeeze? Don't want to do it again.....) me "What of the dreams that never die? Turn to your left at the end of the sky". ~e e cummings~

ROFLMFAO at Dave!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hadn't heard that one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ciels- Michele "What of the dreams that never die? Turn to your left at the end of the sky". ~e e cummings~

Just an observation: at Perris, the door is always - always - shut when we take off, and we must be belted in. We also must wear our helmets on take off. We open the door and unbelt and unhelmet after a certain height -I think it's 1500, but I am not sure. I just watch the more experienced jumpers and do as they do regarding this. There is a sign on the wall, and it clearly states these requirements. I don't think I would like taking off with the door open, and unbelted. just my observations.... ciel bleu- Michele "What of the dreams that never die? Turn to your left at the end of the sky". ~e e cummings~

Slappie, you mean you don't "know" if you got excited? I mean, your nickname and all....if you have to guess if you're excited, or only think you are, well, uh......... Michele "What of the dreams that never die? Turn to your left at the end of the sky". ~e e cummings~