rhino

At least it isn't ten freaking degrees down there

Well spoken..

ummm..... LMFAO!! Semper Fi ..... http:// www.aahit.com

I don't have a problem in the world against anyones sexual preference.. No problem at all...

LOL, 2 points for Clay..

You are my New Hero too Nathan!! Go Nathan Go!!!

You took it the wrong way Sang.. Jokes won't do anything but loosen people up.. Did not intend on waisting your bandwidth. Sorry. Semper Fi ..... http:// www.aahit.com

OH HELL YEAGH!!!!!! Semper Fi ..... http:// www.aahit.com

That was funny.. Really really funny.. Please give us more.. Semper Fi ..... http:// www.aahit.com

LMFAO!!! I don't think I can take much more!! Please!! Stop!! OMG!! So original!! So funny!! Please!! Stop!! Common Chrome.. Surely you can do better than that?? Good one though

ummm. I'm tired of typing...lol Semper Fi ..... http:// www.aahit.com

Those photos ROCK!! Semper Fi ..... http:// www.aahit.com

50 good things about being a man... 1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview. 2. Your orgasms are real. Always. 3. Your last name stays put. 4. The garage is all yours. 5. Wedding plans take care of themselves. 6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid. 7. Car mechanics tell you the truth. 8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut. 9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. 10. Same work ... more pay. 11. Wrinkles-add character. 12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments. 13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100. 14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen. 15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. 16. New shoes don't cut, blister nor mangle your feet. 17. Porn movies are designed with you in mind. 18. Your pals can be trusted never to ask you, "So, notice anything different?" 19. One mood, ALL the damn time. 20. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds. 21. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. 22. You can open all your own jars. 24. You can go to a public toilet without a support group. 25. You can leave the motel bed unmade. 26. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 27. If someone forgets to invite you to something, you can still be friends. 28. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack. 29. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices. 30. Everything on your face stays its original color. 31. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. 32. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. 33. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming. 34. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking ''He must be mad at me. 35. No maxi-pads. 36. You don't mooch off other's desserts. 37. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift. 38. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends. 39. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors. 40. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. 41. You almost never have strap problems in public. 42. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. 43. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. 44. You don't have to shave below your neck. 45. Your belly usually hides your big hips. 46. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. 47. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife. 48. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. 49. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes. 50. The world is your urinal. Semper Fi ..... http:// www.aahit.com

This dog has a personal problem.. Attached... Semper Fi ..... http:// www.aahit.com

LOL, no behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step. Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step. About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!" The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends." Semper Fi ..... http:// www.aahit.com

DINNER CONVERSATION WOMAN: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again? MAN: Definitely not! WOMAN: Why not -- don't you like being married? MAN: Of course I do. WOMAN: Then why wouldn't you remarry? MAN: Okay, I'd get married again. WOMAN: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face) MAN: (makes audible groan) WOMAN: Would you sleep with her in our bed? MAN: Where else would we sleep? WOMAN: Would you replace my pictures with hers? MAN: That would seem like the proper thing to do. WOMAN: Would she use my golf clubs? MAN: No, she's left-handed. WOMAN: - - - silence - - - MAN: Shit: Semper Fi ..... http:// www.aahit.com

A new arrival in Hell was brought before the devil. The devil told His demon to put the man to work on a rock pile with a 20-pound sledge Hammer in 95 degree heat with 95% humidity. At the end of the day, the devil went to see how the man was doing, only to find him smiling and singing as he pounded rocks. The man explained that the heat and hard labor were very similar to those on his beloved farm back in Massachusetts. The devil told his demon to turn up the heat to 120 degrees, with 100% humidity. At the end of the next day, the devil again checked on the new man, and found him still happy to be sweating and straining. The man explained that it felt like the old days, when he had to clean out his silo in the middle of August on his beloved farm back in Massachusetts. At that, the devil told his demon to lower the temperature for this man to -20 degrees with a 40 mph wind. At the end of the next day, the devil was confident that he would find the man miserable. But, the man was instead singing louder than ever, twirling the sledge hammer like a baton. When the devil asked him why he was so happy, the man answered, "Cold day in hell, the Patriots must have won the Super Bowl!" Semper Fi ..... http:// www.aahit.com

Signs you live in 2002: 1. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave. 2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three. 3. You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat. He emails you back from his bedroom, "What's for dinner?" 4. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site. 5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken with your next door neighbor yet this year. 6. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea. 7. Your grandmother asks you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver. 8. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home. 9. Every commercial on television has a website address at the bottom of the screen. 10. You buy a computer and 6 months later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid. 11. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 years of your life, is cause for panic and turning around to go get it. 12. Using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase would be a hassle and take planning. 13. Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car. 14. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses. 15. You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow. 16. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet. 17. Your idea of being organized is multiple-colored Post-it notes. 18. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person. 19. You get an extra phone line so you can get phone calls. 20. You disconnect from the Internet and get this awful feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one. 21. You get up in morning and go online before getting your coffee. 22. You wake up at 2am to go to the bathroom and check your E-mail on your way back to bed. 23. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :) 24. You're reading this. 25. Even worse; you're going to forward it to someone else. Semper Fi ..... http:// www.aahit.com

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple were driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. Who was the survivor? (Scroll down for the answer.) The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man. Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke. Men keep scrolling. So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident. By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this, this illustrates another point: Women never listen either Semper Fi ..... http:// www.aahit.com

This is the way golf was suppose to be played!! attached

CHANGING A LIGHT BULB THE CHRISTIAN WAY: How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb? Charismatics: Only one. Hands already in the air. Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against The spirit of darkness Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times. Roman Catholics: None. Candles only. Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad. Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was. Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it. Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted,all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence. Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish. Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy. Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change. Amish: What's a light bulb? Semper Fi ..... http:// www.aahit.com

A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago: "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. "But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake." Semper Fi ..... http:// www.aahit.com

Little David comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," he asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?" David's father thinks a bit then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?" "Osama Bin Laden," David says. "Why Osama Bin Laden," his father asks in shock. "Well," David says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore." His father's heart swells and he looks at his boy with newfound pride. "David, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard." "I know," David says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the shit out of him." Semper Fi ..... http:// www.aahit.com

This is how rumors in the office start!! attached

Clintons new dog attached!! Semper Fi ..... http:// www.aahit.com