RastaRicanAir

Don't worry. He's just drunk, not autistic. OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411 -"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is

N/A

I fact, skip the rant part if you want, but there's advice requested at the end. So, at the culmination of my ultimate reggae legend music weekend, which I'll probably post more positively about later, I was driving home, feeling pretty good about life when I was pulled over and rousted by two uniformed douchebags. They nailed me after I U-turned to avoid what looked like a checkpoint, but obviously they couldn't have taken me anyway, because I wasn't visibly intoxicated. Just to show you what I was dealing with intellectually, when they went in to search the car, they noticed my copy of Slaughterhouse 5 by Kurt Vonnegut. The lead bitch commented on it aloud, to which his fat sidekick replied: "Isn't that the guy who was in Back to School with Rodney Dangerfield?" They got me out of the car, had me assume the position, went through my pockets and pulled out the Swiss Army knife I've been carrying every day for the past 6 years: "What's this? I thought you said you didn't have any weapons. Did you lie to me?" Me: "No, I don't consider that a weapon since I never used it against anybody." Pig 1: "You mind if I take a look in your car?" Me: "Well that's kind of a loaded question, but I guess I'd be unwise to say no." Pig 2: Where are you coming from tonight?" Me: Culture Room. I was at a reggae show (As if that wasn't the entire impetus behind their little picnic in the middle of the road.) Pig 2: "I'm not a big reggae fan." Me: "No, I wouldn't think you were." Pig 2: "What's that?" Me: "You just don't look like one." Pig 2: "You ever kill anybody?" Me: "Not to my knowledge, no." Pig 2: "Not even in self defense?" Me: "No. I'm generally a peaceful person. I try not to infringe on other people, so I don't get into those situations" Pig 2: "What?!' Me: "I said if I don't bother other people, they don't bother me." Pig 2: "Are you a Rastafarian?" Me: "No. I'm more of Buddhist." Pig 2: "Buddhists aren't supposed to believe in drugs. They cloud the mind and the soul" Me: "Well, maybe that's why I don't use them." At which point Pig 1 pulls a pre-wrapped pink tablet out of my center console and holds it aloft: "What's this?" Me: "Uhhhh....I believe that's a Pepto Bismol." Pig 2: "Looks like an Ecstacy tablet" Me: "I really wouldn't know. But I believe it says Pepto-Bismol right on it." And the conversation continued in that enriching fashion until Pig 1-visibly disapponted at not getting his rocks off by cuffing me- simply said: "Get out of here." Me getting back in the car: "You guys are ever down south and you need some Yoga instruction look me up. It's great for relieving tension." From Them: A priceless look I would have glady spent the night in jail for. Anyway, the reason I'm posting this is: 1) They asked me if I knew why they pulled me over, I said "not really," and they never replied with a reason. 2) They never said I was driving erratically, and the u-turn, though blatant, wasn't prohibited. 3) They never gave any cause for searching me or the car 4) They never gave me so much as a warning and 5) I was four block away before I realized the cocksucker still had my pocket knife. Mostly) That knife was a gift, and I want it back. Unfortunately, I hadn't had the presence of mind to get names or badge numbers, and in fact since I wasn't in my own county, I'm not even sure if they were municipal or SD. but I'm pretty sure I could track them down if I was a big enough dick about it. Question for you legal types is: Do I have grounds to file a complaint against these badge-abusing pricks? OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411 -"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is

IRIE!!!!! OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411 -"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is

Or at least get a bigger cable package. First the Food Network, now the weather. Bubbles, do I need to teach you how to download some real porn to crank to? OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411 -"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is

You wouldn't think them were such aerodynamic creatures there would'ya? Thank God for that thin Colorado air. Congrats Hansel and Big Stud! OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411 -"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is

No SH*T!! Did you two totally-non-lesbos (who just sleep in the same bed to conserve space so the rainforests can get bigger) not tell me about this, or did I not bother to remember?! Well I have to work tonight (f*ckin' sick kids!), but you'd better save room for a few Tequila shots at the Toots & the Maytals show tomorrow night! OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411 -"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is

Thanks! But all names have been changed (just enough) to protect the innocent to protect ME. (I'm only half as dumb as I look.) OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411 -"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is

Yeah, I think it rings a bell. Cute girl, used to hang with that other cute girl. Neither one ever put out for me, so I didn't commit their names to memory. OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411 -"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is

Along with affording me an opportunity to ease the lives of countless helpless children, my de-facto current job in the E/R of a large and renowned children's hospital has -over time- concretely convinced me of two things: 1) Children truly are the future 2) That future will inevitably end with those children or their children living in trees and flinging their own sh*t at each other if we don't immediately institute some sort of license requirement -including a mandatory minimum IQ score- for people to become parents. Tonight I met a woman who apparently wanted her young son to be treated with respect over the span of his incipient life, so she was sure to give him a name commanding that respect from others (whether they were giving it sincerely or not). That lucky 9-year-old boy's God-given Surname: Finley His Mother-given First Name: Mister Yes, that proud boy will one day grow up to be MR. MISTER FINLEY But wait, there's more! His arrival was quickly followed by a visit by two siblings whose parents happened to have much in common before they were married. The father was born a Rodriguez. The mother also born a Rodriguez. So with boundless Latino family pride, and to avoid confusion as to who their babies belonged to, they named their 18 month old daughter: Sabrina Rodriguez Rodriguez and her lucky 4 month old brother Carlos Rodriguez Rodriguez I see midnight is approaching, and with it, the end of my shift. I leave you now to go home and weep for the future. OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411 -"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is

Egg bread with roasted pork, swiss cheese, mustard and pickles. Some places add salami. Salami?!! Bloody Aussie heathens! It's slow roasted pork, swiss and ham the way God (or Dios) intended it. In fact, now you've got me craving too. Think I'll stop off at the place right down the road from work tonight and get one with a side of fried plantains. Not to rub it in. OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411 -"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is

In that case, nothing to do but lay her up on a big ass feather pillow and spoil the shit out of her.

Better yet! Ask them if that same commissioner is still there and if he's going to be expecting a bribe again. OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411 -"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is

Forget those insensitive pricks, Billy! I sang you Happy Birthday the last time I saw you. Remember? ..............Oh sh*t. You were looking in the other direction. Nevermind. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411 -"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is

Got it. A case of O'Doul's, a tube of Chap Stik and a glossy color photo of your bare ass. Let them figure it out. OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411 -"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is

I believe THIS is the dark, cold, barren, loveless realm YOU'RE looking for. If you can find some semblance of rational life there, we'll consider you for the other planet thing. OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411 -"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is

Yep. You'll have to move. Give me a call when you get settled. I know 11 or 12 places within about a mile of here. And no matter where you are, NEVER order any sort of Cuban sandwich at a places with table cloths. That's bullsh*t. Unless it's a vinyl cloth on a folding card table. OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411 -"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is

Dude, are you serious? I must be out of the loop. OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411 -"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is

Nooooo...you f*ckin' didn't!! Dude, my RastaStetson's off to you. You are TRULY f*cking EVIL. OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411 -"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is

They do. Some of the more self-aware joints, like divot said, have started using "Premium" as the shorthand for "beers those dickhead frat boys at the next table don't buy." The particular bartender quoted in your case study was simply retarded. Don't worry, when I open my place, the sign outside will read: "Two-for-one pisswater drafts EVERY Tuesday!" I guarantee we'll make a killing. Oh, and just to share the pain and fuel your next rant: The other day I was at my favorite outdoor waterfront saloon and I watched a young, attractive woman order a $14 pitcher of Newcastle for herself and her visibly dickish boyfriend. Then, because it was warm outside, she came back to the bar and secured a BAG OF ICE TO PUT IN IT!! The Moral of the Story: Give Up. People are f*ckin' animals. OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411 -"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is

Yoga. Yeah, it's my stock answer. But have you tried it? I don't know the particulars of your condition, but a good teacher would be able to adapt sequences specific to what you need. Hell, when I do my full 70 minute sequence, probably 1/4 of it is ALL about the hamstrings. Not to mention the general increase in flexibility, and respiratory/circulatory (and yeah, psychological) benefits. I also think you'd find it infinitely less tedious -and therefore, easier to stick with- than just plain stretching. Just an "if it were me" here, but before starting a program of potentially habit-forming drugs with temporary benefits, I'd look into a few healthier habits first. Info-mmercial concluded. OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411 -"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is

This just in: No-talent celebrity also turns out to be an egocentric ass-pipe! Film at 11. I'm more concerned with the moral dilemma posed by the Malaysia story. Certainly, I'm enraged when instituted religious fundamentalism denies people the right to self-expression. But if it can be used to cancel an Avril Lavigne concert, maybe sharia law's not all bad. OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411 -"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is

Attila the Hun's COOL!! ....Sorry, far as I got. Gonna go see what's on the History Channel! OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411 -"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is

Now tell me how you used to have to walk uphill in the snow barefoot to watch it!! Just f*ckin' with ya. But you guys do sound a little Olde right now. I keep waiting to read "and we were THANKFUL to get it!" ...And it ain't about the monkeys riding horses. It's about monkeys with semi-automatic weapons! F*CK YEAH! OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411 -"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is

Go back and click on cow now. ....Cow now..? OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411 -"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is