phatcat

Delays, delays, and more delays. But my deposit is paid, my name is on paper, and I’m redoing the FJC on Sept. 8, rain or shine (and it goddamn better be SHINE!) After all the whining I’ve done here, and after kicking my self in the ass for two years for the most dumbassed thing I’ve ever done in my life (chickening out of lev. 4), I’m starting over. I can’t even tell you how unbearable the wait is. Christ, it’ll probable be the middle of winter before I get my A, if that, but better late then never, right? I’ve done over a hundred MPH on a snowmobile several times and my aggressive driving caused me to be soaked in sweat despite it being well below freezing, so skydiving in the cold can’t be too much different I figure. Maybe I’m thinking a little too far ahead, but since I’ve already wasted most of the summer by doing nothing other than saving my hard earned pennies, I think I freakin’ deserve a little excitement for once. Man, it’s still over 3 weeks away. The days are SOOOOOOO long. And, of course, everybody I know still thinks I’m completely nuts. With that, I’d just like to tell every single one of those people – FUCK YOU!!!! Skydiver to be - Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

Well I won’t speak for anybody else but I already know I’M crazy! And skydiving made me that way. I dunno, I used to be normal, than I jumped out of a plane, got the crap scared out of me, and now, for some reason that can only attributed to insanity, I want to do it more. No, I NEED to do it more. I redo the FJC on Sept. 8 and start AFF over again and I’m so freakin stoked to throw my ass out of a plane again. Why? Why not?!?! Oh, and by the way, even though the course is pushed back a month from when I actually wanted to jump again (last weekend), it’s actually a good thing, because by then I should have enough money to do the whole AFF course and still have some left over for beer. How cool is that????

Hey Rodeochic, I remember you! Someone was messin with your account or something right? (If that wasn’t you, I guess I’m an idiot) We TOLD you not to leave! Oh well, welcome back! Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

Oh Christ, here we go again. I SOOO don’t want to post on this, but obviously I have anyways. This isn’t the first time it’s been brought up, about the “stories”. Some people like ‘em, some people don’t, whatever. As a newbie, I personally like reading them. But that’s not my point. If you don’t like them, then fine, but what the hell makes anybody think that they have the right to bash them? I would hate to think that there are people out there who are afraid to share their experiences with everyone else just because a few idiots said they didn’t like it. If everything goes as planned, I’ll finally be jumping again in a few weeks and I’ll probably want to post here about it. Should I keep it short because certain people don’t want to read it all? If so, than TOUGH SHIT!! I’m going to jump again soon, and when I do, I’ll take much pride in in it. I’ll write about it, because I want to. If you don’t like it DON’T READ IT! If you do read it anyways and don’t like it, then don’t post about it because I don’t give a rat’s white hairy shit stained ass!! Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

Don’t feel bad dude. I’m not even a “real” skydiver yet, but whuffo chicks bore the fuck out of me so I haven’t gotten laid yet. Once I start jumping again I’ll definitely be looking for REAL women, not the little miss prisses or the “I like to get drunk for no reason so I’m cool” sluts. I’m also not looking “to get tail” either. Just not one of my priorities, that’s all. Then again, after a few beers I’m very unpredictable so all my normal beliefs go right out the window, so who knows? 23 year old virgin. That’s me. Show me a girl that can handle me and I’ll show you a girl I’ll sleep with. I’m still waiting. Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

Not computer illiterate myself, but not a geek either. I’ve gotten lots of 404’s lately, but since the change, it’s been smooth as diarrhea. So one more “good job” to Sangiro! Your site ROCKS!! Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

Dumbest thing? Probably when I went to a frat party and got way too drunk. I ended up locking myself in my trunk and had to piss in a Wal Mart bag while holding my keychain mag-lite in my teeth so I could aim. Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

BULLSHIT!! I was hosed! Imagine my surprise reading that post this morning, and only afterward realizing that it was MINE! No clue about the moving cup thing, but goddamn, I kill me! I’m not a real dork, but I play one on the internet Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

Okay, THIS is weird. I’m not kidding, I’m not just trying to draw attention to myself. I swear to god this just happened. I was just sitting in my chair, watching TV when I went to flick my cigarette into my ashtray. Actually my ashtray is just a plastic cup filled with water (I’m poor). My beer was about a foot away from the cup on a glass table and when I moved to flick my cig, the cup started sliding towared my beer, for no apperant reason, until it hit the beer, and then it stopped. No, I haven’t been drinking too much, and I’m not trying to be funny. And I don’t believe in ghosts or ufo’s or any of that shit for one second. But this was just to freakin weird. It just fucking moved along the table all by itself. I don’t know why I’m even posting this here, since you’ll all probably think I’m a weirdo or something, but I’m NOT kidding. I just saw it minutes ago with my own eyes, and it scared the shit out of me. "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

Damn! No jumping this weekend. I just got a reply back from Rose (DZO skydive hutch) and said I would have to take the FJC again. I sort of figured that, but it turns out the next class isn’t until the 18th of August. No big deal, though. After I turned in my vacation request to my boss (which I guess I don’t need now) I told him what I was going to do. He was surprised and during the conversation he said “that’s like the most dangerous thing you can do!” I just said “Um, yeah” and left it at that. I guess I’ll have to get used to it. Thanks everybody, it’s good to have the support. Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

God help me Well, it’s now or never. I just emailed Skydive Hutchinson with some questions and said that I’d be there this weekend. If anybody remembers me when my nick was “Dirtsucks,” I did a lot of whining about money and my lack of it. Then I finally got enough and went to the DZ to jump, but chickened out. After feeling worthless and pathetic about it I changed to my new nick (just didn’t like the other one) and posted a thread about fear. I got I lot of responses, and I thank all of you. The subject of fear has come up a few more times lately, and I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I went for a drive just to think for awhile, basically about why I’m driving my car around when it’s an absolutely gorgeous day out and I should be at the DZ. I’ve made so many excuses, usually about money, but I think I finally figured it out. When I screwed up my level 4 five times 2 years ago, it was because as my confidence went away, fear took control and that’s why I rode the plane down on my sixth try. And it’s been in control ever since. I finally figured out why I need to skydive so bad. It’s about not being just another person who puts limits on themselves, based on fear. I want to be better than that, and for awhile, when I was doing AFF at Baldwin in WI, I was. But I fucked up, and now I’m just a normal person again who doesn’t jump out of planes because it scares me. Problem is, I had a taste of what it’s like to be a person who goes beyond just being ordinary, and it felt real good. Being ordinary again is what’s been killing me for so long, I just can’t stand it anymore. So I’m going to the DZ this weekend to jump. If I fail, then I’m going to live the rest of my life resenting whuffos who will never understand what it’s like to live life instead of just existing, and resenting myself for becoming one of them again. I’M NOT GOING TO FUCK THIS UP AGAIN!! Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

My name is Josh Tucker. I sit in a chair and stare at a wall for 8 hours a day to make money to jump again. I used to hate it but after reading this thread I have realized that my job ROCKS! You silly people, you actually DO stuff at your job. Haaaaaaaaa!!! Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

She did that to you too, huh? I’m so ashamed… "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

Bwaaaaahaaahaaaaaaaaa!! Got to love them guard dogs! Reminds me of the time I went to my parents house, just after they got a new dog. Walked up to the front door and started going in, and the damn thing runs up and bit me right in the ass!! Saved by my wallet, fortunately. Her name is Lacey, and she’s VERY protective of my parent’s place. Later on, after she was used to me, I was up at at my parent’s again with a friend of mine and we were playing basketball. Lacey kept circling us and would dart towards my friend and I would shout “LACEY!!! NOOOO!!!!” and she would back off. Finally we were walking toward the house and she comes up behind us and sinks her teeth into my friend’s ass. He whips around and goes “OOOWWWW YOU BITCH!!!!!!” After telling him I was sorry about that, I quietly went to Lacey and said “good girl!!” When I was younger and lived with my parent’s at a different house, we got robbed. Took my Super Nintendo and all my games (how dare you!!), and 2 pot pies out of the freezer (must have been hungry burglars). The 3 dogs we had at the time didn’t do a damn thing. Now, my dad works night shifts a lot, and my mom used to be scared to be home alone at night. And now that they have Lacey, I sincerely think that anybody that thinks they are going to break in are probably going to lose their most precious family jewels, and then some!! Man’s best friend – damn straight!! Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

I’ve read a few times about the suggestion of landing a Bird Man suit. Just something to think/speculate about- is it theoretically possible, and if so, how do you think it could be done? I was just thinking about it today, but I don’t really know a lot about the suits. Can you “flare” them, as would be required when landing? I would imagine that the airspeed you would need to achieve horizontal flight would be several hundred miles an hour (I really have no idea, though, that’s why I’m asking) That would probably eat through the suit, your clothes, and a good deal of your flesh before you came to a stop. Maybe just strap a skateboard to your front or something ? What do you think? Could it be done? Or is the idea just plain suicide? Josh "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" - Helen Keller

Michelle, THANK YOU!! I’m a struggling skydiver (haven’t jumped in two years) and I’m waiting to do it again, and that post was just so awesome!! After reading every word you said I was like “hey, I remember that!!!”, and I swear my heart rate must have at least doubled. It’s so exciting, isn’t it!?! I gotta restart AFF to get back in the air, and since fear has been such an obstacle it is sincerely such a HUGE motivation to read stories like that. I like what you said about driving to the DZ. It’s funny looking back on it, I remember having to force my brain away from thinking about it and just to keep on going. I’m going to have to go through that again, so I’m glad I’m not the only one

Both. “OH MY GOD!!!, WHAT IS THAT BETWEEN YOUR…oh, wait, BWAAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAAAA” Josh

Actually, we don’t do that sexual stuff on this forum. We’ve got serious things to discuss. Like boobies, and peeking at chicks jumping naked. Your obviously just confused. No harm done. Josh

Right on. If I cared, I’d probably be smacking a ball around a golf course right now, after spending perfectly good jump money on a set of clubs or something like that, cause that’s the world I live in. What can you say? That’s the dilemma of just about every skydiver. It means the world to you, so naturally you want to share it with everybody you know. But whuffo’s won’t get it unless you can convince them to try it (good luck). So you’ve got to just say “screw it”, and put up with their shit. Acually, I’ve just been inspired. I think I’ll have to write something “For skydivers, by a skydiver” titled “How to Care for Your Whuffo Friend.” Well, maybe I need a little more experience for that, but I think it would really help . Josh

0:0:0 Damn it!! The last one if for cases owed and not beers consumed, right? Otherwise it would be something like 0:0:20-35. Josh

Hey Michelle, best of luck on those jumps! It’s been awhile for me, but level 3 is the one I remember the most, cause it was the first time I saw another person out in front of me, not holding on, but just floating out there! You’re going to LOVE it! As far as problems in the door, well, sorry, I’m the LAST person to answer that question, cause I’m trying to figure that one out myself. But I at least have enough experience say that level 3 ain’t to hard, so have fun!! Oh, yeah, to answer your question about “and more”, I don’t have any idea. It was about as simple as you described it said in your brochure. Maybe it was just a “catch all” or something. My opinion is that lev. 3 is just kind of a “get used to being up there” kind of jump. That was how I felt about it anyway. Later, Josh

I think your whuffo friend is just jealous because he (secretly) feels that you have more balls than he does, and he needs to downplay that to make himself feel better. Stick him in the open door of a plane at 13 grand and I think the truth would be told REAL fast. When I was in that door, my JM’s were nothing short of gods. Of course, if you haven’t actually been in that situation than you are completely clueless. If you want to talk like your all courageous and all that, you’re only fooling yourself and other whuffos. It can still push your buttons the wrong way, though. Stupid whuffos. I’ll smack the next one I see, just for fun! Josh

I think I’d like to start off behind a boat first, then up to a Cessna, etc. Small steps, ya know. But check out the other pics on that site. I’ve been laughing my ass off for almost an hour, there’s a ton of them, and they’re friggin HILARIOUS!!! Josh

Hey now, I’ve got some serious issues to deal with here. I don’t need to hear about any tandem masters doin’ some “thrusts” when I’m most vulnerable. I’ll strap myself to ‘em and jump out, but I don’t need none of that gay stuff (not that there’s anything wrong with that, just not my style). I hope the TM’s at Hutchinson all got girl/boy friends, depending on their preference, to satisfy themselves. Geezus Kriste, like I don’t have enough to worry about right now!! See yah! – Josh

Buckcherry, "Ridin'" That's where it's at, people. Especially when you're drunk, like i just happen to be right now. Woooohoooo!!!!!!! Buckcherry's got some crazy ass bastards in that band, I love 'em!! I'm also totally into Limp Bizkut, Godsmack, Staind (they really rock), and it seems that I've got to have this fix on the Monkees recently, you now "I ain't you're steppin' stone", don't they rock?!?! Okay, i'll just shut up before i make a totall drunk ass out of myself (so what else is new) Sincerely, Dirtsucks, Phatcat, What the fuck ever, just call me Josh, every body else does, LATER!!