Nataly

I think that is a *fantastic* idea

I vote for LisaH and Skymama "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Nope. You’re a cute girl, I don't think you have ever had to play this stupid game to get a guy to talk to you right? In fact, I'm going to guess that when you do go out you get hit on at least once per hour at the bar and once per 30seconds at the Dz? Basically what I'm sayings is that guys have to do the equivalent of a push up braw and a mini skirt but rather with pretending and playing this stupid game to get the girl to give him a few moments of her time so they can show the girl their true self. Yeah sure, we have the ability to stand up when we pee.....but we have to work to get a girl to give us a few minutes. It is what it is and no most good looking girls don't get it because they never had to work to get attention or a moment with someone. Of course it's just my opinion, and of course I'm not ugly.. But just the same, I think changing your personality and "tricking" someone into liking you can only *decrease* the odds of you finding a good match. Your advice is fine if your friend is only interested in sex, because he has a higher chance of "scoring" if he goes with the flow.. In terms of a relationship, though, finding your match (IMO) is all about being yourself. And for the record, I'm hardly getting hit on at a rate of once per 30 seconds!! Even just imagining this scenario made me laugh since it's so totally ridiculous!!! I spend 99.99% of my time at work or at home.. I enjoy solo sports and staying at home.. Unsurprisingly, I don't meet a lot of people this way!! And trust me, when I *do* go out, guys honestly don't swarm around me.. My less attractive friends are flirtier and get all the attention. Personality and outgoingness are *far* more important than looks. And if you think your friend is a social freak - let him be a social freak.. At least the woman who will fall in love with him will *like* his freaky side

Bike weight and size are only an issue when it comes to getting it up on the center stand, out of a down-hill parking job (meaning you've screwed up), or off-the ground (meaning you've screwed up, perhaps getting it on the center stand). I know I'm a novice, but everyone tells me that weight and size *does* matter when it comes to manoeuvrability in slow/congested traffic. As I said - roads are narrow here, so you can't always escape traffic. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I agree with a lot of what he says, except the following: I don't think women go for nice guys once they lose their market value.. I think women go for nice guys once they can appreciate them. Women don't like jerks.. They like guys who are fun and outgoing - unfortunately, some of those guys break our hearts because they are also jerks.. It can take time to get to know and appreciate a shy guy, whereas a lot of jerks come right out and approach you, make you laugh, show you a good time, etc.. A lot of "nice guys" simply don't go for it, and I think *this* is the reason things often don't pan out. Just think.. The outgoing guys probably try their charm on *everyone*.. They have a lot of success, but they may only succeed about 5% of the time.. If you're one of the shy ones and you only try once, you might also have a 95% rejection rate, but you wasted it on just one person. Well, it's not a waste if she turns out to be "the one", but you get my drift. The next thing I don't agree with is that you need to not be nice to a girl if you want to get laid. I think it's less about being mean and more about *trying*. If you don't pursue someone, you're unlikely to get a response.. Yes, sometimes things just seem to happen effortlessly, but that means you *both* made it happen without realising it. My point is this: if you invest 100% of your emotions on one person and that person doesn't respond, it's time to move on - otherwise you'll just end up getting hurt. In fact, it'll probably be quietly painful the whole time until one day it's obvious that it'll never happen and then it really hurts. No good comes from a one-sided relationship. Obviously, walking away is easier said than done.. Almost everyone has been there.. Take it one day at a time. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Nope. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

OOohhhh.. How silly of me.. Good looking people are loveable because they're good looking.. So the uglies need to pretend they're someone totally different in order to trick someone into liking them. Took him a whole minute to think about each thing you said, huh? Probably because your pearls of wisdom were so difficult for someone that ugly to understand. My god, it all makes sense now. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Dude.. Who are you to decide what his qualities and what his *extras* are anyway?? He's not trying to mate with you!! Everyone's different.. I mean, the woman of his dreams might be really into that sort of music, but might find his fondness for Mexican food really, really annoying! I hope your friend reads these threads and sees how much you put him down. To an outsider, what you write about your friend seems a lot more like abuse than support. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Sounds like the reason so many people get divorced!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

*SOOO* tempting, except for the 9 months of winter!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Yeah, I remember coming over here and telling people that back home I was really unusual for driving stick shift!! I don't like driving an automatic.. It just seems like you unnecessarily lose that extra bit of control and finesse.. But even after 5 years of driving over here, I still think it's more "natural" to change gears with my right hand! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

If she's not interested, maybe she's just not his type. For fuck's sake, let the boy be himself - how else is he going to find someone who likes *him*??? "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

The rules are pretty different over here. First of all, I already have my motorcycle licence, but the one I have limits me to a 125cc, and expires every 2 years. (And I can't ride on mororways - aka highways.) Second, the full licence has 2 options.. 1 - A 2-year power-restriction of 125cc, after which you can ride anything. 2 - Take the test with a 500cc and you can ride anything straight away. There is no middle ground if you have the restriction - 125cc is the max you can ride even if it is a scooter. The thing to consider is that riding in the UK is not like riding in the States.. Over here, the roads are narrow and congested. You can't find big empty parking lots to practise in - parking over here is usually on the side of the road. Even if you buy a bike for highway-driving, you inevitably will spend a lot of time weaving in and out of traffic, which is why a big heavy bike to me has very little appeal. I also think car drivers in the UK are *totally* unaware/disrespectful of motorcycles, so I think it's dangerous over here. I can't really say if it's *more* dangerous, but certainly I have cycled in the UK and feared for my life - did the same in Canada, the US, and France and felt perfectly at ease. So I'm keen to have the skills to actually ride/manoeuvre a bike before I even consider getting something powerful & heavy. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I think whether you say something or not, the end result will most likely affect the way you feel and not the other way around. I say this because the fact that you've loved her for 3 or so years means that she probably knows how you feel by now. If she's a really good friend, telling her shouldn't really change anything. At the same time.. would it achieve anything?? Hard to tell.. Whatever you do, the pain will subside over time.. You just need to find a way to move on - that's the hardest part. I think someone has already mentioned therapy.. Talking to someone can really help. And wine.. Copious amounts of wine!!! You'll be ok - hang in there. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

That's a myth - I've done it and my eyeballs are still firmly in their sockets! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Don't know about everyone else, but I don't consider myself a thrill-seeker.. Skydiving for me was always incredibly fun, but never a "thrill", or "adrenaline rush". I fell in love with the sport/people the moment I tried it, but I never lost interest in anything else as a result of skydiving. But that's just me

Ok first of all, I have suspicions of who you might be, but for the purposes of this thread, I will take what you say at face value. 1 - My sympathies really go out to you.. Feeling heartbroken is painful regardless of circumstances. 2 - If it didn't happen for all this time, perhaps it wasn't meant to be. I'm sure that doesn't make you feel any better, but there is a very slim chance that some day you'll see this and it just *might* make things kind of ok. 3 - Whatever you do to mourn your "loss" is right for you, so just ignore anyone who judges by making comments like "you should be over it by now", or "shut up about it already".. Although in fairness, when I was feeling in a total rut Andy908 pretty much told me to "shut up already", and ironically enough it's just the kick in the ass I needed to stop feeling so sorry for myself!! Dunno.. Do what feels right for you. Maybe try writing everything down on paper? For fuck's sake, though, don't write an email - it's too tempting to send Good luck, and keep your chin up.. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Shades of Marianne Faithfull in 'Girl on a Motorcycle' ... and yes, I really am that old Holy fuck.. I don't know who she is, but she's still HOT!!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I believe you stand corrected, D!!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

I thought helmets had a shelf-life of something like 3 years (depending) because stuff like sun-rays break it down & make it more brittle, etc.. No?? Can't imagine spending $800 on a helmet.. Especially when the *really* cool one that make your head look like a sexy bowling ball only cost like £50!!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

SHHHH!!! You're gonna get the boys all excited with that kind of talk!!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Does it get stinky?? Ewww!!! Should be ok - even my farts smell of roses Edit: sorry.. seriously though, I wouldn't have thought of that - thanks

Oh, she's freaky, allright "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

..... so far (so not your whole life)..... the rest is up to you. Ah ha ha - too right Although in truth, I was never very good at listening to him anyway If I had, I would have become a boring accountant instead of.. well.. oh CRAP. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss

Don't think I get goosebumps when/after sneezing.. Maybe D's just a *FREAK* "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss