VanillaSkyGirl

Hello Yvonne, I hope that I'm not frightening tandem students or AFF students with my thread. Honestly, I have no idea of how the tandem student harness should fit. Believe it or not, I've never done a tandem in my life. My first jump was an AFF 1. I'm so glad that you're still going to do the tandem. I'm sure that your tandem master will make sure that you are comfortable and safe. Please just talk with them about this in person, and they will go over everything that you need to know for the jump. Good luck and have fun!

"Oh no, the front door's exploded!"

Thank you, Tom, for jumping with me, yesterday. It was fun.

You're an awesome skydiver, Dom. I've always appreciated and enjoyed flying with you and with anyone, who would fly with me or coach me. Yes, that photo was taken on one of the last days that I had flown, prior to stopping. I could tell you who else was on that jump with us, but it would be name dropping, again. Thanks for your post, Dom. You've always been so supportive and inspiring. Take care, my dear!

Thank you, Karen. Perhaps, it's because we know each other, that you did understand exactly what I was feeling (fear/frustration) and what I need (to vent and get support) online. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything that you've written. It helps so much.

Ah, thank you, Carrie. That is exactly the case. Oh, and I know that we haven't understood each other online in the past, but I'm sure that it would be quite different in person. Peace, girl! (Bye, I have to go to the DZ, now!)

Thanks Nita! Yes, I feel much better taking canopy classes. I've actually had several (three) canopy coaches/classes in the past, and they've all been wonderful. Unfortunately, I broke my ankle, while taking a canopy course a couple of years ago. The mental aspect is the problem right now. One another note, I often see people post about taking Scott Miller's class or naming whomever their coaches are, so I don't see the problem posting my canopy coach's name. (The Tizzle) I am happy with Jonathon and hope to continue to be coached by him for as long as possible. I know that I've improved everything, even the mental part, since being coached by him. I don't hesitate to name Jon, and I would recommend him to ANYONE for ANY kind of canopy coaching. I am quite blown away with how much his coaching has already helped me. I didn't mean for my post to be offensive, and anyone who knows me, knows that. Nita~ See you soon, girlie!

Ah, I understand. Trust me, I'm not mentally ready for that at all. I am just trying to not be scared by myself under canopy right now. I'll eventually try your idea, but I really want to work with baby steps. Thanks!

That's a great idea, but i think that i'll wait a bit to try some crew. Thanks, Dave!

Skydemon, I've thanked you in a prior post and in a PM from much earlier. I want to stick with what I had asked advice for originally. I want advice for the mental, not the physical part of skydiving/canopy flight. I am trying to work through my fears. Quoting my prior posts: I just want to get over the mental fear. Thanks!

Thanks Karen, and that is exactly what I've been doing.

Of course, I posted his name, not necessarily for Skydemon, but because I didn't want a further debate with ANYONE else on my downsizing progression. I will decide that with Jonathon, not anyone else. Thanks Ryan, but I'm not ready for the 135, yet. Maybe after a couple hundred jumps. I'll see you this weekend!

Thanks, everyone. I'm just going to continue to fly what my canopy coach, Jonathon Tagle recommends. Thanks! I should be ok on a 170 and 150, next. I will be wearing about 14-21 lbs. of lead, when flying due to needing lead with the BIG guys for 4-way. (I've only jumped three days so far, so give me a break with the downsizing, already!) Giaaaa...love ya! Thank you for your rig, girl.

Oh, that's too bad! The party will probably still be going on, until late. Think about coming by, anyway.

Ok, you are inspiring me. I have to keep thinking about you, when I feel fear. I hope to jump with you again, Max. Believe it or not, when I first read about you, it made me want to return to skydiving. (Thank you for the chat! You rock!

Not everyone can afford to buy custom for the first rig, including me. I am getting one, now. It's not coming overnight, though. I need a rig now and need to downsize my mains, first.

Thanks Karen! (And Dave and everyone!) I just feel so disappointed in myself. I wish that I could just feel confidence RIGHT NOW. Edited: Thank you, Mike!

Thank you! You're right...but it's easier said, than done. Arrrrghhhh...

Yes, the leg straps have never fit me well enough, but it's hard to actually know what a good fit is at my size, unless it's custom. (i didn't know things were this bad with my old rig, until I saw this picture.) I AM getting a custom Jav made, but in the meantime, I have nothing really small enough. I just bought a used one from another small girl, but who knows if it will truly fit me. I'll find out tomorrow, when I try it on. Anyway, I only wanted to show a pic to demonstrate why I have become even more nervous about the gear issues. There are all of these fears swirling around in my head. I want to know if anyone else went through this, and I want to hear how they've resolved their fears of jumping.

That rig was most definitely was made for a tiny woman, and it used to belong to me. I bought it used off another small woman (Kelly is 5'1" 105 lbs.), who had it altered for her. I am unsually small. (I am 5'0" and about 96 lbs.) Look at me in relation to the person who I am skydiving with in the picture. The rigs at the DZs are always much bigger than this one. Lawrocket~ Thank you. I am not a quitter, so it's hard for me to accept that I am scared. (I know that you aren't, either.)

Thanks Remi! I've just been scared because I've been using different gear. The rental ones don't even fit, and they only have one rig (a student rig) that fits a little, but even that is huge. I am borrowing Gia's rig tomorrow, but the shoulders are big on me, which makes me nervous under canopy. While skydiving, i am always so happy and feel secure with the flying. Under canopy, I always have time to think, and the turbulence under those big things makes me so nervous.

Thank you, but perhaps I should clarify. I am very happy during the actual body flying portion of the skydive. I've never had any fear with that. My body position is not the problem. It's flying the canopy that scares me.

I'm now recurrent again, after going for about a year and a half (almost 2 yrs, if you don't count 3 days) of not jumping. I have jumped on three seperate days so far. I haven't jumped for a month, now, due to having problems finding gear that fits. I might have gear for this weekend that is almost a decent fit, but I feel so anxious, still. What is wrong with me??? What is strange is that on the day that I became recurrent, I was not scared at all. I was just happy. Now, I've built up fear, somehow. I hate being under canopy, and I've had canopy coaching with the best coach (although with the damned used rental geat, which is huge on me.) I am even scared of the gear because of the fit problems. See attached pic for a picture of the best fitting rig that I've ever used, so far, which was my own back then. Back when I originally posted this pic, people PMed me to stop using that rig because it's dangerous. Well, that rig had a 14" harness, which is too big, but ALL of the rigs that I use now are much bigger than that. After seeing this picture, I am frightened of being in all of those much bigger rigs. It's really mostly mental because I've flown those rigs in the past without much issue, but I cannot get over my fears of the gear, and especially of landing. I love skydiving. I don't want to stop, but I HATE feeling this kind of fear and dread. It's not the way that I can comfortably skydive. How can I stop these mind games? I am so unhappy with myself about all of this.

My thoughts exactly, Nita. We should definitely do that. Alaura is having her party a bit last minute, but I'm sure that it's going to ROCK, since it's a long weekend and all. I'm trying to help her to spread the word, but it doesn't work when the thread is posted late on a dead Wed. night. See ya, girlie...looking forward to tomorrow!

Thank you for the awesome post! (Thank you for your service...if you're a Vet.) I am so thankful for my best male friend from high school, Rob, for his service in the Persian Gulf. I thank to DZ.commer Max Ramsey aka Gawain for his recent service, during which he lost his leg. I am extremely thankful for my ex, Spener's service in the Persian Gulf (all 3 or 4 times), for his recent service in Iraq and for his upcoming service (coming soon). He is an amazing person, and I am thankful that he is giving so much of himself to our country. I am most thankful that he is still alive. Cheers and much gratitude to all of our Vets and to all who have given their lives for our country. Thank you!