wildcard451

Dude, all I thought when reading this thread title was.. "Oh fuck, I haven't had it this easy since I was taught to fish with dynamite." Funny thing was, even then I had to put some effort into lighting the fuse. It's been hard to restrain myself. Nice work. Look, I take pride in my work. And every once in a while, it is glad to know that what I do is appreciated around here. Thank you kind sir, thank you very much. Consider this a clinic. Several trained professionals, and truly fine sonsofbitches in and of themselves came together here tonight to provide the rest of you with a rare glimpse of what it feels like to have balls between their legs so big that it often hurts to put on a pair of jeans. Take this and learn from it. AS grue said, all tampons MUST, I repeat MUST be removed for this to work. I'm still not feeling it though. There is much lacking in your weakness with the force. Read this. Study this. Go off in the woods and dance with the trees, and fuck a goat or two, and then maybe, just maybe you will come back with a greater understanding of what it means to be able to truly be one big fucking prick. Can a kneegrow get an AMEN from the congregation!!!

You just made the gravy salty. Call it your secret ingredient and make millions.

I would have stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes.

Ok, seriously. I just hurt myself laughing at that. And when it's cold outside, just pull those labia down extra tight. Dude, like EARMUFFS!!!!

Dude, all I thought when reading this thread title was.. "Oh fuck, I haven't had it this easy since I was taught to fish with dynamite." Funny thing was, even then I had to put some effort into lighting the fuse.

Ok, seriously. I just hurt myself laughing at that.

I've always wondered that myself...does "cowboy up" mean "suck it up, get back on the horse" or does it mean the John Wayne visual I have in my head of him hopping off the horse, sauntering towards the bad guy with his hand on his gun, ready to shoot? Cowboy is the newfangled pop culture way of saying this... Have you ever seen the movie tombstone? That scene where Wyatt Earp walks in and takes the Faro table from that tub of lard....yeah. That. That right there. Man up. Show some nuts. Use that fucking undersized hog that god put between your legs. And as for venting. It is called venting when it is done once in a while. Not every other fucking day. That's called dribbling like soppy.... Well, you get the point. If I get myself banned then there is no way I can have this much fun without flashing nuns in public.

Mine's just fine. Getting over being sick, and even had today off. I mean I could have gotten laid, and that would have improved it, but overall, I am doing mighty fine. There, I'll even add a smiley.

sorry girls, but it couldn't be more true if it came from God Herself Actually, God's a man too. How else can you explain big fake titties? Hate to break your little bubble.

Ok dude, seriously, shut the fuck up. I had some other shit typed here that I ran by a few people and well, it was deemed too harsh. You want advice on how to be an asshole. Here it goes. No one gives a fuck about your relationship problems. Nice guys finish last. We get it. Guess what, cocaine addicts and wife-beaters end up last too. Play the hand that you got dealt. Next time you see a woman you like, cowboy up and show some of that testicular fortitude that I know you have to have buried inside somewhere. If you can't do that, there is no help you are gonna get from a bunch of skydivers. Believe me, we're the last people on EARTH to give advice about healthy relationships. So you wanted a lesson on how to be an asshole? Ther eyou go. Quit giving a fuck. I'm not saying it is gonna get you anywhere, but that really isn't the point here is it? I'm a trained professional. Please don't try this at home. Ask your instructor before taking any advice you read here... Aw who am I kididng, I don't fucking care.

By default, we are. There are exceptions. But yeah. Get used to it.

Can you even open a skyvan door without looking right at the ground? Me thinks not.

the 2K exit isn't a real biggy, irt's the lack of alti awareness and AAD issues that's a problem Thank you. 2k exits are fine with the right planning. Canopy choice and experience are a few of the factors to be considered. Who the fuck jumps out of a plane and doesn't know how high they are? You can't cure stupid.

Nope. Your priorities are right on track. Easier to play hide the sausage with boobies that are alive. Unless you are into that sort of thing.. Then you have other problems entirely.

*bow*

Well, just because you blew a bunch of frat guys and got their numbers for round 2 doesn't mean they are gonna let you into the club. Sorry to spoil your day.

if you weren't wondering, then I wasn't talking to you.

For everyone who has been wondering, Ray wanted me to let you all know that she is alive and well in Eloy, but has sworn off the computer thing for a while. She says if you want to talk to her, you're just gonna have to get your ass to eloy and she'll buy you a beer and that will be that

That is about as Fucked up of a statement as I have ever read here. And the Girl with short skirt is Partially responsible for getting herself raped?? BULLSHIT!! Sick Fucks sometimes do Sick things. Nobodys fault but thier own and those around the sick fuck for not killing the sick fuck sooner. J, clearly you are not getting enough. Wear shorter skirts and get laid more.

Is there enough atmosphere ,if any, on the moon to use any type of FM style radio? ...

You're too sensitive. Fucking pansy.

Hahahaha, and you posted that before the Onion link. This means you are definitely cooler than the rest.

Soooo, the only rational advice in this thread comes from Turtle, Brains, Douva, and JelloJ. Follow their wisdom young grasshopper......and you shall go far. Well, you'll at least get laid, and maybe land a wack-job with low self esteem. But as long as you get laid....

I'm still at work.....won't be there til 1 am or so or in the mroning.....can't wait to jump with you all. ANd you all suck!

Look! It happened to Lindercles, too!! I'm aware of it, but I hate the small line. I'm still holding on to my full screen line for the time being. I'm sure eventually I'll be flogged into submission, but not yet damnit! BTW, there's about three other threads already made about it. Okay, seroiusly, is this the purple line kelel01 was talking about a few days back while drunk? God, where the fuck have I been....