beezyshaw

One of the local television stations in South Louisiana aired an interview with a black woman from New Orleans. The interviewer was a woman from a Boston affiliate. She asked the black woman how such total and complete devastation of the churches in the area had affected their lives. Without hesitation, the woman replied," I don't know about all those other people, but we haven't gone to churches in years. We gets our chicken from Popeye's". The look on the interviewer's face was priceless.

I think that was actually an "Otto" pilot

Bless their hearts, they had to land that airplane all by themselves. What's this automated age coming to. Hell, in the days when pilots were pilots, this wouldn't have even been mentioned, much less a news story! OSAKA -- An All Nippon Airways (ANA) passenger jet bound for Itami Airport in Hyogo Prefecture was forced to land using manual controls on Saturday after its autopilot system failed, officials said. Airline officials said the problem occurred on ANA Flight 502 as the Boeing 767-300 aircraft was traveling between Miyazaki and Itami on Saturday morning. The jet reportedly contacted the air traffic control tower at Kansai International Airport at about 8:45 a.m. on Saturday, saying, "We've lost control of the autopilot." The pilot switched over to manual controls and made an emergency landing at Itami Airport about 10 minutes later. None of the 155 passengers and crewmembers on board were injured. ANA officials said that the autopilot stopped responding accurately while the aircraft was in flight. Although the plane was forced to make an emergency landing, there were reportedly no problems with the flight or landing after the pilot started using the manual controls. Land, Infrastructure and Transport officials at Itami Airport said a problem was found with the plane's speed indicator after it landed. They are continuing to investigate the incident. (Mainichi)

From the looks of that hit, I think it's more likely he needed a box and a hole in the ground.

A couple of punk kids are driving down a residential street when the kid in the back seat tries to knock some kid off his bike by opening up the driver-side back door AND they videotaped it. What goes around comes around... now click on the link http://www.hiperusa.com/bumperhit.wmv

I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following: ______ a Bloody Mary, ______a Margarita ______a Scotch ______a Martini ______a Vodka and Tonic ______ a Steak ______ Lobster or crab legs ______ The remote control, ______ a Bowl of ice cream ______ The sports page(or insert other reading material), ______Chocolate ______Sex it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day. Signature: ___________________________ Date: ___________________________

I'm thinking what would look really good would be the first color for the upper and lower surfaces, then a second color for the ribs, winglets, leading edge, stabilizers, center cell checkerboard, and slider. That would look awesome. Oh, wait, you guys don't do winglets, separate leading edge, or a checkerboard center cell...hmm, now where could I get a canopy like that?

I don't know the author; a long-time skydiver and pilot friend of mine sent it to me by email. So certainly send it freely.

One fine hot Summer's afternoon there was a Aeronica Champ flying in the pattern at a quiet country airfield. The Instructor was getting quite bothered with the student's inability to maintain altitude in the thermals and was getting impatient at sometimes having to take over the controls. Just then he saw a twin engine Cessna 5,000ft above him and thought, "Another 1,000 hrs of this and I qualify for that twin charter job! Aaahh.. to be a real pilot, going somewhere!” The Cessna 402 was already late and the boss told him this charter was for one of the Company's premier clients. He'd already set MCT and the cylinders didn't like it in the heat of this Summer's day. He was at 6,000ft and the winds were now a 20kt headwind. Today was the 6th day straight and he was pretty darn tired of fighting these engines. Maybe if he got 10,000ft out of them the wind might die off... geez those cylinder temps! He looked out momentarily and saw a B737 leaving a contrail at 33,000ft in the serene blue sky. "Oh man" he thought, "My interview is next month. I hope I just don't blow it! Outta G/A, nice jet job, above the weather... no snotty passengers to wait for.. aahhh." The Boeing 737 bucked and weaved in the heavy CAT at FL330 and ATC advised that lower levels were not available due traffic. The Captain, who was only recently advised that his destination was below RVR minimums had slowed to LRC to try and hold off a possible inflight diversion, and arrange an ETA that would helpfully ensure the fog had lifted to CATII minimums. The Company negotiations broke down yesterday and looked as if everyone was going to take a pay cut. The F/O's will be particularly hard hit as their pay wasn't anything to speak of anyway. Finally deciding on a speed compromise between LRC and turbulence penetration, the Captain looked up and saw Concorde at Mach 2+. Tapping his F/O's shoulder as the 737 took another bashing, he said "Now THAT'S what we should be on... huge pay ...super fast... not too many routes...not too many legs... above the CAT... yep! What a life...!" FL590 was not what he wanted anyway and considered FL570. Already the TAT was creeping up again and either they would have to descend or slow down. That darn rear fuel transfer pump was becoming unreliable and the F/E had said moments ago that the radiation meter was not reading numbers that he'd like to see. Concorde descended to FL570 but the radiation was still quite high even though the Notam indicated hunky dory below FL610. Fuel flow was up and the transfer pump was intermittent. Evening turned into night as they passed over the Atlantic. Looking up, the F/O could see a tiny white dot moving against the backdrop of a myriad of stars. "Hey Captain" he called as he pointed. "Must be the Shuttle. "The Captain looked for a moment and agreed. Quietly he thought how a Shuttle mission, while complicated, must be the-be-all-and-end-all in aviation. Above the crap, no radiation problems, no dang fuel transfer problems...aaah. Must be a great way to earn a buck." Discovery was into its 27th orbit and perigee was 200ft out from nominated rendezvous altitude with the commsat. The robot arm was virtually U/S and a walk may become necessary. The 200ft predicted error would necessitate a corrective burn and Discovery needed that fuel if a walk was to be required. Houston continually asked what the Commander wanted to do but the advice they proffered wasn't much help. The Commander had already been 12 hours on station sorting out the problem and just wanted 10 minutes to himself to take a leak. Just then a mission specialist, who had tilted the telescope down to the surface for a minute or two, called the Commander to the scope. "Have a look at this Sir, isn't this the kinda flying you said you wanted to do after you finish up with NASA?" The Commander peered through the telescope and cried Ooooohhhhh yeah! Now THAT'S flying! Man, that's what its all about! Geez I'd give my left nut just to be doing THAT down there!" What the Discovery Commander was looking at was an Aeronica Champ in the pattern at a quiet country airfield on a nice bright sunny afternoon.

A guy is driving around Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yes, I do," the Lab replies. "So, what's your story?" The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running." But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. "Ten dollars," the guy says. "Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?" "Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shit."

Hey Mick, don't tell people things like that, my "baby needs new shoes"! Jeez, the worst thing that ever happened to the canopy mfr. industry was the introduction of zp material.

Andy, Shirley yoo whirr thanking of sumbody else; my speling is allwaze perfikt.

There's always gotta be somebody to bust your bubble; I was gonna let everybody think I made that up!

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium." Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy as the Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

This post has brought back some very important perspectives I gained about 12 years ago. I had a long and life-changing look into that "deep, dark, truthful mirror" when I was told of a malignant tumor in my head. The doctors couldn't tell me much other than the seriousness and full nature of the situation would only be known as they performed the surgery to remove the tumor. For the few weeks prior to my hospitalization, my life was forever changed. Thank God I have made a full recovery (I like to think) and of course my skydiving was only affected for a very short period. As the years go by, sometimes I have to stop and remind myself of those things I learned about myself; it does become easy to forget the important lessons that can be learned during times of realizing just how fragile and mortal our existance really is. Your post and this thread have helped me to again think long and hard about the things that are really important, and I am very grateful to you for this little "reality check." I pray for your speedy recovery, and be sure to know that every cloud does indeed have its own silver lining.

IF there is some level of ensuring that everyone on the big-way is qualified and experienced enough to do this right and do it safely... Bdbrown beezyshaw BigM Chuck Blue CSpenceFLY Darkwing Freefalle---Video Gemini Hushpuppy Jairo Garcia Katie Blue Larry Thomas McDuck - lurker video Mouth Philly51 Popsjumper Rick Rookie120 (for the cut-n-paste impaired) Scotty C. selbbub78 SkinnyShrek stl135 Tami C. vdschoor --- 2nd video wonderhog Bolas I'm not kidding about the qualifications part. 25 or 50 RW jumps is NOT enough experience to do 30 ways, in my opinion. And I would rather have fun on smaller skydives than to participate in combat RW. Maybe some practice dives before we do big ways for those with less experience, just to be sure we're not going to jeopardize safety and/or waste a lot of time and money? I hope the jumpers with marginal experience don't take my concerns the wrong way, as I of course know there's only one way to get the experience. But also remember that it really sucks to have 29 other people pissed off because you screwed up the record!

I had some friends that had a dog with sort of nappy hair and they named him "Velcro". But of course that was in the days when there was a lot more of it in use on gear than today! So I guess tuck-tab just doesn't have the right ring to it.

The HMA just breaking with no warning is sort of like an urban legend; the story just keeps being passed on and on. Like JP said, it does show wear, it's just that you have to look at it a little more carefully to see the questionable areas. I have seen many many Nitro canopies with well over a thousand jumps on the lineset. One thing I have noticed about HMA in my years of manufacturing with it is that it is imperative to get the slider down onto the risers. I have replaced a few outboard lines way too early in cases where the jumper chooses to leave their slider riding above the risers. While I don't have any personal experience with cascaded HMA, I have talked to riggers at PD that build the comp. linesets for Velocities. They've told me that the fibers begin to separate at the cascade, as the aramid doesn't do well with the side-load imposed by the cascades. As to the tensile strength of HMA vs. Vectran of similar bulk, I'd say HMA would be about 15% stronger. In other words, a 600 lb. HMA is about the same size as 500 lb. Vectran. One more note about Vectran vs. HMA (Technora) concerning dimensional stability. HMA will stay in near perfect trim, and while Vectran will not shrink like Spectra, it does elongate over time. But it does tend to get longer fairly evenly across the lineset, which for all practical purposes does not present a trim issue. A vectran lineset with 500 jumps will be about an inch and a half longer than when it was new.

http://www.hiperusa.com/JapaneseBaby.mpg

Actually, Mark, if you double speed you quadruple the drag. Drag increases as the square of the speed, meaning if you triple your speed, drag is increased 9 times.

181 is the number Precision uses, but if the Raven I were measured by the method PD uses, the number would be more like 170 or thereabouts.

Don't shoot stick with this kid unless you're prepared to contribute to his educational fund... http://www.hiperusa.com/Landon_Rules.wmv

Guaranteed or your money back http://www.hiperusa.com/become_a_mexican.wmv

This is the one that always puts me and my ole lady in the mood... http://www.hiperusa.com/RomanticSong.wma

That's what Eddie says to Clark Griswold about the jelly-of-the-month club bonus from his boss