CrazyIvan

MARRIAGE???? aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!! __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

Teasing?, HA!, if you did that to me, you'd be playing with fire __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

One of the advantages of leaving alone is that after showering you don't have to dry off...IT'S NAKED TIME!!!, nothing like walking around the house in the buff. __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

AFF baby...no better way to learn. __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

Those are the NEW flotation devices approved by the Trans International Transportation Service (T.I.T.S) to be put on every cruise or transatlantic ship. __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN. 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror-make mental note -- must do more sit-ups. 4. Use toilet. 5. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 6. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 7. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. 8. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes. 9. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red. 10. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash. 11. Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has all come off). 12. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead. 13. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you get scalded. 14. Turn off shower. 15. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. 16. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel. 17. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs. 18. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 19. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed are and then sashay to bedroom. 20. Spend an hour and a half getting dressed. HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN. 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo-woo" sound. 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut. Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your ass. 4. Get in the shower. 5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one). 6. Wash your face. 7. Wash your armpits. 8. Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off. 9. Realize that you didn't use the toilet before entering the shower, so pee into the drain. 10. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower. 11. Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area. 12. Wash your butt. 13. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner). 14. Make a shampoo Mohawk. 15. Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again. 16. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time. 17. Partially dry off. 18. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles, admire wiener size again. 19. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor. 20. Leave bathroom fan and light on. 21. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the "woo-woo" sound again. 22. Throw wet towel on the bed. 23. Take 2 minutes to get dressed in the same clothes that you had on before the shower. __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

Maybe not jumping, but lots of HUMPING that's for sure!!! __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

That video CRACKS ME UP everytime I watch it...HILARIOUS!!!! __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

That's what my parents use to say to me __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

Just my luck __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

I was thinking in going to Times Square, but is gonna rain, so...I'll stay home sipping some wine __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

My condolences __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

I have cable...so, ALL THE TIME, also from work, hey, is good to be the IT Guru you know __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

I hope that when I get it back from repairs, I get a GOOD zipper, I'll request a heavy-duty one just in case. __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

I really like the material on Tony's but, I think he could use better zippers. __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

WIMP!!! __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

Dude, a way to 'bypass' the corporate proxy is by installing NETZERO or any other free internet access, that's of course if you have a modem line available. __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

It was a very nice show....EVEN BOOBIES WERE PART OF IT!!!!, I'm so happy. __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

Actually, if Galadriel or Arwen showed their bobbies, that definetely will attract viewers. __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

If you want your parents out of the house: '...hey ma'...pa'...guess what?...IT'S BINGO NIGHT!!!' Give them $20 bucks and the house will be yours. __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

The BIGGEST boobs I've ever seen. __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

The only thing I can tell you is, breath, relax, check your altitude and stay in your room. __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

He has some SERIOUS issues, as well as Frodo, he's gonna need tons of therapy after destroying the ring. __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

Looks like my uncle Henry!! (Good movie) __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

Mmmmmmm....maybe his 'pilot' was out of its pouch __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.