miked10270

German Jokes...? Let's face it. Jokes on nationality are largely for the consumption of people outwith that nationality. For example, show me the German who finds this funny...: Dusseldorf tower controller (they are perpetually very busy and thus somewhat abrupt): "Speedbird 055, exit runway when able and proceed to gate 37". British Airways pilot who's just landed a Dusseldorf airport (which is MASSIVE and complex): Tower, this is Speedbird 055, request directed taxi to gate 37". Tower Controller: "What do you mean; directed taxi. Use your airport map". Pilot: "Don't have one". Tower: "It's perfectly simple to go to gate 37. Have you NEVER been to Dusseldorf before?" Pilot: Several times... In 1944... But we didn't land." Mike. . Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

Is this REALLY the place to look for serious and sensible alternatives...? I'd like to nominate Mikhail Sergeyevich Gorbachev as a suitable candidate. OK. His track record on democratic elections isn't all that good... But he is relatively Socialist, He has experience of governing and ruling a large country, especially during economic collapse. He commands global respect (although he may not get on all that well with Vladimir Putin) ... And he knows stuff... Like, say, where Albania is. In fact he even has a map of it on his forehead! So yeah... I'd vote for Gorbachev as "Most Suitable American President". At least until I hear other nominations. Mike. . Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

Humorous? Absolutely. But only because it's NOT my country's elections. Worrying? VERY. Both sides have shown the opposing candidate to be dishonest. Both are focusing on "He's the bigger liar than me" when there doesn't seem to be that much in it. Unfortunately, we in the UK are no longer in a position to offer you Screaming Lord Sutch as a presidential candidate (at least you'd KNOW what you're getting - Honest Lunacy). We could, however, perhaps lend you Iain Duncan Smith. OK, his track record in elections and party leadership isn't all that good... And he could very well be Britain's most boring man... But he DOES have a verifiable military service record. Mike. . Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

Of course, one could always take the view that "DPRK" gives 3 lies out of a mere 4 letters? Mike. PS: Err... Is that a swipe at Scotland or Canada? . Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

Right!... Unless God really wants you dead of course.... Remember you ARE a Lawyer!!! Mike. . Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

Then use your remaining arm to drag yourself to Kings Cross Station and get a train up to Edinburgh! The superior capital city of the UK. After all, no-one who's anyone is in London during the Edinburgh Festival! You get the Festival (classical stuff), the Festival Fringe (crazy stuff), The Jazz Festival, the Film Festival, the Book Festival... All in a city you can comfortably walk around. PLUS: Edinburgh has nice "elastic" licensing hours. Some pubs close at 2300hrs, some at Midnight, some at 0100, some at 0200, some at 0300, nightclubs open 'til 0430, and at 0445 there's a pub that opens with quite a few opening at 0600hrs (for the nightshift workers of course). If your liver can stand the pace, there's no actual need for a place to stay / bed.... All in a city you can comfortably stagger around! Mike. . Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

I learned this joke when I was living in Europe a while back. It's always been a favorite of mine. Seriously, though, it's less and less true, especially in the southwestern parts of the country. I think I read somewhere that nearly 50% of the population of california is functionally bilingual, with nearly 20% totally fluent in both languages (Spanish and English). But we don't count maids and other domestics in the joke...http://www.esmas.com/adaywithoutamexican/dos.html Mike. . Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

"I think a homosexual couple should be able to have the same rights as a married couple, but to get married in a church, Masque, or other religious temple is an insult to that religion if the religion denounces homosexuality. I agree 100%. I could care less what religions do - what matters is that a gay couple get afforded the same rights as a heterosexual couple." What Bill said... I find it interesting that in the US, the very people who're against Gay Marriage, are the same people who want greater self determination... Their self determination! Eg: http://www.worldnetdaily.com/ Mike. . Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

The post makes me realise how lucky I am. Yes. Marriage can be natural, even among the unmarried, co-habiting, dating, etc... I feel that "Marriage" is not a matter of a piece of paper. It's a matter of friendship, trust, shared values, faith, mutual support, committment and faithfulness. It's a matter of finding Mr/Ms RIGHT, not Mr/Ms "Right Now"!! (although Mr/Ms Right Now is very tempting at the time, and in the past I have succumbed to temptation at the time! - as has Iona). Personally, we both "have a past", and that's where it belonged. Where we are now, and have been for the last 10+ years is in a lifetime committment for and to each other - the whole "for better or for worse, richer of poorer, in sickness and health thing, even if we haven't said it formally. So, Yes. I believe that "marriage" (mating for life) IS (or can be) natural for humans, but unfortunately the social pressure to marry - to make a committment with someone too early in life, or who isn't completely suitable for you, gets in the way of marriage. Ahh... If only I'd met Iona when I was 18... I'd be locked up 'cos she was only 10 at the time! Mike. . Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

If you kill one person... You are a mrderer. If you kill 6 people... You are a serial killer. If you kill 100 people, you are a mass murderer. If you kill 2,000 people... You are a part of the political process! Or, as Uncle Joe was fond of saying... One death is a tragedy... A million deaths is a statistic. Mike. As you may gather I'm currently pi$$ed off at Al-Sadr's latest "ceasefire" while his (amateur) Mahdi Army regroups and re-arms. Isn't there a warrant for his arrest in force? . Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

I'm guessing you're going I-10. If so, then a stop off at Tucson and a side track to The Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum is a must. IMHO it's a better bet than The Grand Canyon. I had a better time over 2 days with Old Tucson and the Desert Museum than at GC. Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

Sacha Cohenis a brilliant comedian, and a brilliant wind-up merchant. Among his previous coups was telephoning the Prime Minister pretending to be the leader of the opposition (or was it the other way around?). He also got several celebrities to do PRO drugs adverts!!! Anyway, he's very subtle, and has often led politicians and celebrities into a complete mire of embarrassment. I'd suggest that he could have successfully pulled that stunt ANYWHERE! WHen he does these "cons" he's very convincing. He'd probably spent at least a day at the bar "in character" as a reporter, with the TV crew and all, being friendly, before pulling the song stunt. Therefore, you didn't see a bar full of anti-semites, you saw a bar full of people slightly drunk, somewhat shocked, but trying to be hospitable to the foreign reporter anyway. Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

Heh, Heh... I'm only surprised that they haven't pointed out that "Heinz" is one of them suspicious, furrin soundin' names... Same as "Theresa" - Frenchie / Eytie soundin'. I also loved the Pic of Reagan on the site. Rest assured He will never use Heinz Ketchup again!! So "Buy Dubya Ketchup", the "non-political" alternative! Whoever claimed that Americans couldn't do satire? Mike. . Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

An athiest dies... And finds himself at the gates of Heaven. WTF he thinks, but St.Peter beckons him in. Next thing God is showin him around and they're chatting away... The Athiest says he's kind of surprised to be here, given that he didn't believe in God, but God says not to worry. Anyone who's lived a good life goes to Heaven. They wander through heaven, over the beautiful mountains, through the georgeous meadows, past the bubbling brook, pausing only to take in the superb lap dancing bar and Free Brothel... (after all, this is Heaven!) Then they come to a massive concrete wall. Totally featureless. The Athiest gets upset. He starts shouting at God "Oh. Here we go. You've shown me Heaven, now it's time to get chucked over the wall into hell is it!" God hisses "Shut up! For my sake keep your voice down!" But the Athiest keeps gobbing off: "Well if it isn't Hell, then whats on the other side of that bloody big wall?" God snaps "STFU!!!! Other side of the wall it's the Mormons... They think they're the only ones here!" . Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

You know, you are what you eat. It's why the English are called "Le Rosbif", The French are called "Frogs", The Germans are called "Krauts", and the Americans are called fat. If all the California Girls were laid end to end... Nobody would be surprised. Florida consists of a beach full of geriatrics and a beach full of drug dealers seperated by a swamp. This is America's idea of a tourist haven. Rest assured, there's more to come... Mike. . Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

I was going to say something like "Oh yeah? Name two!" Then I saw the pic. What's the pic gotta do with football? Apart from the fact she appears to be hiding some. . Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

Nope. That's not it... Cos I'd defect . Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

You too!? What a strange co-incidence. Another of life's mysteries is what happened to Russian Women Atheletes since the end of the cold war? You no longer see all those ones who looked like Leonid Brezhnev but with worse makeup? Mike. Edited to ask: Anyone else worried about the blokes who're posting in the "Football" thread? Also edited to add pic and stalker info: She's 5'9", 137lbs, 22 years old, and her birthday is January 25th. ( oh what it is to be a recently converted Water Polo fan ). Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

Yep. You gonna suport the Russian Women's water polo team as well? Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

Fair point. "We" meant the US/UK ground forces in Iraq. Wasn't Al-Sadr "wanted" not so long back? What I'm being cynical about is the policy with so many "U" turns in it that it makes spaghetti look simple. The resulting, ever changing ROEs turn our troops from being an army into being targets. As Saddam Hussein prophesised, it's turning into another Vietnam. All thanks to "Executive" orders to... Shoot it. No, don't shoot it. We meant shoot it. Actually, don't shoot it. No, shoot it, just don't hurt it. No, we meant kill it. Actually just hurt it a bit. Make it like us. Shoot it now. We didn't mean now, maybe next week. Look like you're gonna shoot it. Why didn't you shoot it when you had the chance? Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

Yeah, Tante Ju would be high on my wish list. But are there any yet that you can jump? And do you have to learn to sing "Rot Scheint Die Sonne" to get a jump ticket? Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

We set out to capture Al-Sadr. Once cornered and ripe for capture we let him go, all for some percieved short term gain. God forbid that something may interrupt the supply of SUV-Juice (!!!) even if it IS the right, and sensible thing to do in the long term. I remember how concerned everyone was to avoid damaging Coventry and Dresden churches, what with them being places of worship. Let's be blunt, you can barely chuck a stone in, say, Jerusalem, without hitting some place of worship, but the bombs still go off. Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

like I said before, it's the Oily Sandy Ground that's important: http://www.aljazeera.com/cgi-bin/news_service/middle_east_full_story.asp?service_id=2978 "Muslim Shi'ite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr is unhurt and is negotiating with the government to leave the Imam Ali shrine in the city of Najaf, Iraq's Interior Minister Falah al-Naqib said on Friday. Several spokesmen to Sadr said he was wounded in a U.S. raid on Friday. " Muqtada will not be touched if he leaves the shrine peacefully. A truce has been in force since last night," Naqib told Reuters. "We will go after the elements which have penetrated the Sadr movement, but not Muqtada," he added. The government has been under pressure to stop the U.S. attack on Najaf as violence mounts; stirring the Iraqis outrage at the U.S. tactics used to crackdown cleric Muqtada Al Sadr and his followers. An Iraqi political source said a delegation of tribal leaders and political parties met Prime Minister Iyad Allawi on Thursday and demanded he try to put an end to the U.S. offensive on Najaf. Whatever happened to: http://www.aljazeera.com/cgi-bin/news_service/middle_east_full_story.asp?service_id=2924 Explosions and gunfire echoed across the holy city of Najaf on Thursday, as the U.S. military and Iraqi forces launched a full-scale assault to rule out fighters loyal to Muslim Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr. Thousands of U.S. troops were taking part in the offensive, which started with the cordoning off of Imam Ali’s shrine, its vast cemetery and Najaf's Old City. "Major operations to destroy the militia have begun," said U.S. Marine Maj. David Holahan, executive officer of the 1st Battalion, 4th Marines Regiment. Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

Of course Britain supports torture. For many years we have been a leading supplier of bespoke equipment for various Bastions of Democracy in an otherwise hostile world. For example, you can't just BUY leg irons for your err... Special Prisoners. Fortunately, Hiatt's of 121 Great Barr Street, Birmingham, supply an extensive range of chain and rigid handcuffs for "oversized wrists". Meanwhile, a firm in Edinburgh is the major supplier of high voltage electric shock batons. It's fair to say thewir design is one of the most popular in the world. Both companies were suppliers of "prisoner control equipment" by appointment to the last but one government of certain 4 letter middle eastern countries. Meanwhile, the Landrover Defender in both standard and semi-armoured forms remains "The best 4 X 4 X Far", or at least the most popular, for the majority of Bastions of Democracy with insurgent problems. There was a time when you couldn't see "government forces" shooting up the opposition without there being a Landrover in the background! Mike. . Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

Yeah. C'mon. Since WHEN was this a place for unbiased commentary. Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.