Rebecca

Thanks! I was trying to remember how to spell "proselytizer." And yes Juan, you do your cause little good. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

I have a theory: Fear. (And before I go on, I'm not a member of any religious group, unless you count sorta Catholic but not church-going, which I don't. For simplicity, I use the term "Christian" in the following to mean those good folks, doing what they can to treat themselves and others with love and respect, no matter if they call themselves Muslim, Buddhist, atheist, whatever. Christ acted like that too.) Maybe they're afraid the Christians might be right. That just maybe after all that bible-thumping and preaching, they'll be better off in heaven and the rest of us'll be screwed. Maybe they're afraid that if they bought into all of it, they'd still end up being wrong. 'Course fear of being rejected by the Christians because you're already too much of a sinner is a good one. Some professed Christians DO condemn them. They are not true Christians. Then there's fear that even if you did believe and were accepted, you would still find yourself lacking. So they'd just rather not be reminded of it, or they try to warn the rest of us of our folly. Loudly. That's just my theory, but I don't know nothin'. I could be wrong.

You've got it partly right, vitriolic one. It's man's attempt at applying the concepts that religions were based on that is flawed. The basic founding messages of all major religions can only be properly understood and applied after an acceptance and forgiveness of self which leads to the kind of self-love which allows you to "love your neighbor as yourself". If you don't love yourself first, you will not be able to treat anyone any better, and all this "religion" will be just another load of crap someone's trying to shove down your throat. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

Lock her up and don't let her out until she understands and can apply the concepts of self-esteem and self-worth. Then and only then will she stop doing stupid shit that hurts every single person she comes into contact with, including herself. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

Oh I love that picture! He really pulled off the bald look. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

This isn't directed at anyone in particular, just everyone. It's just striking me as so silly that anyone can claim to know anything definitive about God by looking outside themselves. "I have the answer because [insert book] told me!" "You're wrong! It's just a book, so I know it can't be right!" "But [insert Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, or other person with something good to say] said so! He was right, so the others were wrong!" "You're all wrong because my versions of logic and common sense tell me so." "I just can't communicate with any of you." Babel anyone? you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

Thanks Jim. We were the lucky ones to know him. I'm sad for all the ones that won't... And I'm sad for us too. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

Thanks for sending this to me, Alex! Good stuff. We're about to enter the peak of the hurricane season, which starts June 1 and ends November 30. Any day now, you're going to turn on the TV and see a weather person pointing to some radar blob out in the Gulf of Mexico and making two basic meteorological points: (1) There is no need to panic. (2) We could all be killed. Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be in Houston. If you're new to the area, you're probably wondering what you need to do to prepare for the possibility that we'll get hit by "the big one.'' Based on our experiences, we recommend that you follow this simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan: STEP 1. Buy enough food and bottled water to last your family for at least three days. STEP 2. Put these supplies into your car. STEP 3. Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay here in Houston. We'll start with one of the most important hurricane preparedness items: HOMEOWNERS' INSURANCE: If you own a home, you must have hurricane insurance. Fortunately, this insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic requirements: (1) It is reasonably well-built, and (2) It is located in Nebraska. Unfortunately, if your home is located in Houston, or any other area that might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would prefer not to sell you hurricane insurance, because then they might be required to pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they got into the insurance business in the first place. So you'll have to scrounge around for an insurance company, which will charge you an annual premium roughly equal to the replacement value of your house. At any moment, this company can drop you like used dental floss. Since Hurricane Alicia, I have had an estimated 27 different home-insurance companies. This week, I'm covered by the Bob and Big Stan Insurance Company, under a policy which states that, in addition to my premium, Bob and Big Stan are entitled, on demand, to my kidneys. SHUTTERS: Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows, all the doors, and -- if it's a major hurricane -- all the toilets. There are several types of shutters, with advantages and disadvantages: Plywood shutters: The advantage is that, because you make them yourself, they're cheap. The disadvantage is that, because you make them yourself, they will fall off. Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage is that these work well, once you get them all up. The disadvantage is that once you get them all up, your hands will be useless bleeding stumps, and it will be December. Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that they're very easy to use, and will definitely protect your house. The disadvantage is that you will have to sell your house to pay for them. "Hurricane-proof'' windows: These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane protection: They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand hurricane winds! You can be sure of this, because the salesman says so. He lives in Nebraska. "Hurricane Proofing Your Property: As the hurricane approaches, check your yard for movable objects like barbecue grills, planters, patio furniture, visiting relatives, etc.; you should, as a precaution, throw these items into your swimming pool (if you don't have a swimming pool, you should have one built immediately). Otherwise, the hurricane winds will turn these objects into deadly missiles. EVACUATION ROUTE: If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route planned out. (To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look at your driver's license; if it says "Houston" you live in a low-lying area.) The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being trapped in your home when a major storm hits. Instead, you will be trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two hundred thousand other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely. HURRICANE SUPPLIES: If you don't evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies. Do not buy them now! Houston tradition requires that you wait until the last possible minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with strangers over who gets the last can of SPAM. In addition to food and water, you will need the following supplies: 1) 23 flashlights. At least $167 worth of batteries that turn out, when the power goes out, to be the wrong size for the flashlights. 2) Bleach. (No, I don't know what the bleach is for. NOBODY knows what the bleach is for. But it's traditional, so GET some!) 3) A 55-gallon drum of underarm deodorant. 4) A big knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be useless in a hurricane, but it looks cool.) 5) A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the alligators. (Ask anybody who went through Alicia; after the hurricane, there WILL be irate alligators.) 6) $35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane passes, you can buy a generator from a man with no discernible teeth. Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television and watching TV reporters in rain slickers stand right next to the ocean and tell you over and over how vitally important it is for everybody to stay away from the ocean. Good luck and remember: It's great living in paradise! Those of you who aren't here yet: you should come. Really! you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

So, I guess in Canada a grown man can hop on a tire swing for the world to see and still respect himself in the morning? Why do I always know you'll show up whenever I post that photo? At this point, it's just tradition. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

So, I guess in Canada a grown man can hop on a tire swing for the world to see and still respect himself in the morning? you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

corrected for you... He is so gifted PLEASE God, let Italy win, if only to spare us the French - they're bad enough without victory! (I kid, I kid. Sorta) you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

Um, seriously Weege, I hope they're being advised to sue by a good lawyer who will make sure they're FULLY covered. I'm SO GLAD they're OK!!

Oh NO!!! Rebecca & Conway Downside: We miss you. Upside: No more pain, no more cancer, plenty of blue skies, and your Mom's open arms. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

Konichiwa, biatch. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

Ah yes, yet another intriguing little English language discrepancy. We say Math. You say Maths. Adding that extra letter just wasn't worth pointing out that it's a pluralized word... you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

One of our favorite expressions around here when people prove themselves incompetent is: "But this is HAAARD!" Anyway, I found an awesome pair of pants at Ann Taylor for $19.99. They're having a great sale right now.

OMG!! DUUUUUUHHHHHH!!! Yep. That's it. Thank you for being gentle about it. Musta given myself one too many forehead whacks to the desk. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

And the hits just keep on comin'! Woo hoo! Good news!! Love ya Conway!! you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

Seems I'd need 3 more variables... plus the definitions of the variables... Aw hell. This is so frustrating. I've been banging my head on the desk, but it hasn't fallen out yet. I coulda sworn it was in there! you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

If you're wondering why I don't ask one of the whiz kids in my office... well, don't, 'cause there ain't any. Bueller? you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

Guys, this is really pretty simple. If you get it, you got it, if you don't, you'll want to try. You don't have to define yourself or anyone else in any way. You don't have to go to church. You don't have to do what anyone or anything tells you to do, and you shouldn't if the message is based on fear of hell or judgement on earth. All you have to do is love yourself with your whole heart. You do have to forgive yourself. You do have to accept that you have very special gifts and abilities. You do have to accept that you already know what is right - you know it every time you make a choice whether you realize it or not. Everything good will follow. Once you know that love, you also know how to share it and more than that, you want to share it. You don't even have to have heard of Christ or the Bible or the church or any other version of this truth to know it. This message applies regardless. That's how I know it's real.

In keeping with the general lameness of the day, I need help with a cumulative sum formula. I used to know it... I have: Conversions per month Sales per month 12 months My monthly converted customers accumulate sales at the same rate from January to December. How do I arrive at the December cumulative total with one formula? you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

Wow. I have not seen a surprise-attack optical assault of this caliber in a very long time. Brava bella, brava! you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

Me too. I show my patriotism by standing with my hand on my heart every time I hear it. And I sing. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

But if you add music, include a very visible mute or off button! It sucks when you're surfing at work and all of a sudden you're busted because you can't get to your volume control fast enough... you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?