highfly

LOL you look stupid in 1? Sorry Gus www.myspace.com/durtymac

Here's some stoopid quotes from lawyers around the world. Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses. "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?" "The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?" "Were you present when your picture was taken?" Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?" A: "No." Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?" A: "No." Q: "Did you check for breathing?" A: "No." Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?" A: "No." Q: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?" A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar." Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?" A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere." "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?" "Did he kill you?" "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?" "You were there until the time you left, is that true?" "How many times have you committed suicide?" Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?" A: "Yes." Q: "And what were you doing at that time?" Q: "She had three children, right?" A: "Yes." Q: "How many were boys?" A: "None." Q: "Were there any girls?" Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?" A: "Yes." Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?" Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?" A: "I went to Europe, Sir." Q: "And you took your new wife?" Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?" A: "By death." Q: "And by who's death was it terminated?" Q: "Can you describe the individual?" A: "He was about medium height and had a beard." Q: "Was this a male, or a female?" Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?" A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work." Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?" A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people." Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?" A: "Oral." Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?" A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.." Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?" A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy." Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?" A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel." Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?" A: "I have been since early childhood." And they get paid for this? www.myspace.com/durtymac

Makes me feel old too. I can remember the video to it also. Big stoopid hats in some sort of medieval stting if I'm correct. It's also on "Now thats what I call music 1". Sad eh www.myspace.com/durtymac

I love my Mirage too bbarnhouse. Had a Javelin for a while. Sold it got a Mirage. Mmmmm Will buy another when I am looking at my 2nd rig. Custom this time though. www.myspace.com/durtymac

Yep thats the 1 Ade. Its raining in Spain at the mo. Did you check the weather? www.myspace.com/durtymac

Excited then Ade? Did you want to loan my rig for the time that your'e there? Yeah right!!!!! www.myspace.com/durtymac

I'll be there for the 6th of May through till the Sunday maybe. Depends on cash. You up there all week then? www.myspace.com/durtymac

You lazy bastard ya!!! I have to work today. Thought you may of jumped on a train and gone to Langar for the day. May as well try and relive your guilt somehow www.myspace.com/durtymac

Keep your fingers crossed Adrian. Could do with some good luck. www.myspace.com/durtymac

Was that taken at the AGM Skreamer. I remember Phil saying that he thought he had escaped it until the morning. Photos to prove it all. www.myspace.com/durtymac

Who's coming to play at Langar then? I looking forward to having a nice week in sunny Nottinghamshire.

99.5% of all statistics are made up. (Vic Reeves) www.myspace.com/durtymac

Well dterrick I have a stoopider 1 than that. I went to India 2 yrs ago for 4 months and met some right idiots. 1 chap I met on the beach was frantically searching for something in a bush near the beach. He was obviously European. He happend to be from Sunderland in the UK. I asked him what he had lost expecting " My guest house keys and safe key" ( I had lost mine a week previous to this) He told me that he had only been in Goa for about 3 hrs. He went to the bank and cashed in all his cash(big mistake take travellers cheques) about £1500 worth. In his bag was his cash, passport, airline tickets, cameras 1 Sony vid cam and a Cannon stills camera and his keys to the guest house and safe. DOH!!!!!!!! He asked me what he should do. I really didnt know what to say except get to the Police Station and report everything stolen. I seen him a week later. Hwe had got some cash wired to him from the Uk. Embassy got him a replacement passport and the Airline sent his new tickets through. ery lucky man in that case,but what would he of done if he'd of only been there for a week. www.myspace.com/durtymac

If they'd off took the car and left the contents I would of been a lot happier. At least then I wouldnt of had to spend an entire Sunday searching for a new piece of glass and then fit it myself. All in all Sunday was wiped out. MY priorities: 1. Family 2. Music 3. Skydiving Sad eh www.myspace.com/durtymac

Well what a weekend I had. My car got broke into yesterday outside my house. I had at least 30 md's pinched, 1 pair of Oakleys, about £2 in change out of my ashtray and numerous other things. Don't mind the md's going, but It was the music which was on them that I'm gonna miss. Old dj sets from about '96 of mine. Can't get these anywhere now. Knowing the robbers they most probably sold them off for maybe a £5 to make some cash. Boy the human race aint nice sometimes. www.myspace.com/durtymac

BTW Mm don't forget there is also a Peter Pan for everyone. www.myspace.com/durtymac

31 yrs old. 1st jump at 16 5th jump at 29 www.myspace.com/durtymac

Got a great ping at my mates house. Normally about 17ish. Great for online gaming. UT2003 is great online to. Just a little bit too quick for me. www.myspace.com/durtymac

He he mm. That was the link I posted on Blether a while back. So fresh so clean www.myspace.com/durtymac

Things You'll Never Hear A Man Say... 1. I just love how Barry Manilow sings, don't you? 2. No, I don't want another beer. I have to work tomorrow. 3. You know, her breasts are just too big for my liking. 4. Sometimes I just want to be held. 5. Boy, that Barbara Walters is one sexy babe. 6. Sure, honey! I'd be happy to discuss the state of our relationship. 7. We haven't been to the mall for ages. Let's go shopping and I can hold your purse. 8. Forget Monday Night Football. Let's watch something meaningful on the "Lifetime Channel." 9. It's late. Put your clothes back on and I'll take you home. 10. Honey, I'm going to the store. Do you need more tampons? 11. Actually, I prefer it when *you* hold the remote. 12. I'm sick of beer. Give me a fruit juice. 13. Great! Your mother's coming to stay with us again. 14. I wonder if my gorgeous neighbour knows that her drapes are open when she's getting ready for bed. Maybe I should tell her. 15. No way. You weeded the garden last week. It's my turn. 16. Better get rid of these old Playboy magazines. I don't look at them any more. 17. I understand. 18. This movie has way too much gratuitous nudity. 19. Damn, we're late for church! 20. No! I don't want to see your sister's breasts. 21. Damn these onions, pass me a tissue. 22. Put some panties on, for Pete's sake. 23. Eat something! You're starting to look like a Victoria's Secret Model! 24. Don't pick that up, I got it. 25. Happy Anniversary! 26. Hey, isn't today your mother's birthday? 27. Let's talk. I miss talking. 28. Gay men have rights too! 29. I am just too tired to have sex again today! 30. Are you losing weight, sweetie? www.myspace.com/durtymac

I love the way you get real bad commentry from "whuffos" on skydiving vids. The way they percive us doing our "crazy mid air stunts plummeting to earth at 120 mph" is great. I love to have someone make me laugh www.myspace.com/durtymac

Operation Blackhawk down is a class game online. You and a few buddies get together and run amok throught Somalian villages. Sniping on this game is fantastic. Set yourself up nice and far away and wait. www.myspace.com/durtymac

QuoteHaar, I had no life before I started jumping, reply] Still aint got no life now I am jumping. Can't afford to do anything else now www.myspace.com/durtymac

He he makes a change for me to be on top of you Blue www.myspace.com/durtymac

Nose piercings are nasty. When you take them out it looks like you have a huge blackhead in your nose which can never be squeezed. Eeeewwwwwww www.myspace.com/durtymac