riddler

Particularly Italian Carnival Cruises. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

Pvt. Joe Bowers: Man, I could really go for a Starbucks, y'know? Frito: I don't really think we have time for a hand-job, Joe. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

I take a reasonable bet that A.J. never moved out of the basement, held menial part-time jobs, and left nothing of the estate, after usurping his/her mentally-challenged mother to sign over assets of the estate, built from a lifetime of hard work from a couple of the "greatest generation", so he could burn through several mail-order brides from Russia and Korea. No, wait. That was MY uncle Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

A big hand and a little hand. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

It's fair to say that every skydiving story needs accompanying video. In fact, next time some whuffo tells me he's an ace skydiver, I'm going to ask what kind of camera he jumps. If he says none, I will call bullshit Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

Initial impression is that the car fire was too spontaneous and too controlled. A fuel leak wouldn't develop that quickly exactly underneath the car. They tend to jet out to the side (at least the flames do). Very one-dimensional fire. The explosion, I wouldn't know, never seen a car blow up. But I heard it's kinda rare. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

As long as he never becomes a T.I. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

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As this is the first time I've heard this, maybe you could explain what the W, I and E stand for? I can guess the 'F' Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

You're asking for a lot. Even 500 years from now, the most you will get from Starbuck's is a hand job. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

Additionally, trafficking is so heavily regulated, even in the legal locations, it's not worth trying to ship it. In Denver, possession of up to one ounce is legal. Growing has limits, and there are no provisions for shipping. Both Colorado State law and federal law prohibit shipping of marijuana. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

When the fuckers start pissing, I leave the orgy. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

Being a good liberal, I don't think it should be that extreme. Castration might be a good option, though ... Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

WTF? HELENA, Mont. — The stocky man showed up in a basketball uniform for a game at Century High School in North Dakota. Players and coaches assumed he was a fan who had come with another team, so nobody objected when he began to pitch in around the bench. "He helped lay out uniforms, got water. He even gave a couple of kids shoulder massages. Creepy stuff like that," said Jim Haussler, activities director for the Bismarck Public School District. After the game was over, the man joined the winning team on the court and asked if he could get a piggyback ride. One bemused player gave it to him. "He makes himself appear as if he's limited or handicapped. I think he plays an empathy card, so to speak," Haussler said. "We didn't realize what we were dealing with until several days later." What they were dealing with the night of Feb. 4 was the Piggyback Bandit — Sherwin Shayegan of Bothell, Wash., a 28-year-old man who ingratiates himself with high school sports teams, then hoists his 5-foot-8, 240-pound frame onto the backs of the student athletes. Shayegan's antics stretch back to 2008 and had been mainly confined to Washington and Oregon. But since last fall, he has worked his way east to Montana, North Dakota and Minnesota, leaving a trail of befuddled athletes in his wake. Shayegan has asked for piggybacks, attempted to pay for piggybacks and just sprung one upon an unsuspecting kid. He favors basketball games, but he also has leapt onto hockey, soccer and football players. He has pretended to interview athletes for a term paper, acted as a team manager or just tried to blend in with the crowd for a piggyback payoff. Why he does it is unclear, as is who came up with the "Piggyback Bandit" nickname that now follows him wherever he goes. Shayegan, contacted on his cellphone Tuesday, politely declined to speak of the piggyback rides until he could talk to an attorney. "I'd prefer not to comment, if that's OK," he said. Shayegan has a lengthy criminal rapsheet in Washington as well as nine outstanding warrants in one town in that state. Because of his piggyback antics, he has been banned from high school sporting events in Washington, Oregon, Montana, North Dakota and Minnesota. "What's disturbing to me is that he is jumping on our young athletes, he is 240 pounds, and he can hurt someone," said Mark Beckman, executive director of the Montana High School Sports Association. In October, Shayegan was arrested in Helena, Mont., for jumping on two unsuspecting high school soccer players during a state tournament. Shayegan said something to a motel clerk in Helena that day that prompted the clerk to call police. A plainclothes officer went to the tournament and watched Shayegan jump on the back of a player. 'Go back to Seattle and behave' Shayegan pleaded guilty on Feb. 1 to two misdemeanor assault charges. He was fined $730, given a 360-day suspended prison sentence and told not to go to any more Montana high school events. "Go back to Seattle and behave," Judge Bob Wood told him, according to the Independent Record of Helena. Shayegan didn't listen. Just three days later, he struck again at the Bismarck basketball game. He also received a piggyback ride from a hockey player after a hockey game that same day. That one-day spree led to Shayegan being banned from sporting events by North Dakota High School Activities Association executive secretary Sherman Sylling. Later that week, Shayegan turned up at three basketball games in Minnesota, including the only college game where his appearance has been noted, St. Olaf versus Concordia. At that Feb. 8 game, Shayegan sat near the St. Olaf bench. Like the Bismarck game, it was assumed he had come with the other team. "I think at one point he was giving water to individuals," said Mike Ludwig, St. Olaf's sports information director. But he kept getting too close to the players, making one coach uneasy. Someone told Shayegan to back off, and he did, Ludwig said. There were no piggybacks that night, nor were there any when he later appeared at high school events in St. Cloud and Minneapolis. The Minnesota State High School League joined the other states in banning him, with executive director David Stead writing that Shayegan "Is known to cause a direct threat to the health and safety of student athletes and others." Police believe Shayegan may have gone back to western Washington, where he has 16 convictions dating back to 2004 that include multiple counts of criminal trespass, vehicle prowling, resisting arrest and a felony possession of controlled substance without a prescription. The western Washington town of Mount Vernon has nine outstanding warrants for his arrest, mostly for failing to appear in court or not showing up for work crews as part of a sentence for an earlier conviction. Police in the nearby city of Anacortes have issued a bulletin asking anyone who sees or contacts him to call 911 immediately. Little is publicly available about Shayegan's background other than his arrest record. Phone numbers listed for relatives rang unanswered, and messages left were unreturned. One person who has known Shayegan for several years is Mike Colbrese, the executive director of the Washington Interscholastic Activities Association. Colbrese said he became acquainted with Shayegan about seven years ago, when Shayegan was a common fixture at games and used to ask for work as a waterboy in state high school basketball tournaments. "He would just wander around. You wouldn't see him interacting with coaches and players when we were first aware of him," Colbrese said. Nobody knew where he lived or what he did, Colbrese said. Eventually, he was viewed as an eccentric nuisance who generally bothered staff for jerseys or for a role at games. Things changed in 2008, when Joel E. Ferris High School of Spokane won that year's state basketball tournament and Colbrese spotted Shayegan hanging around the locker room after the game. "He was jumping on players' backs after they showered and came out of the locker room," Colbrese said. Washington high school sports officials stopped viewing him as an eccentric and started looking at him as a possible threat. For the past two years, there have been no reports of Shayegan at Washington high school games. Colbrese said he is bothered by what appears to be Shayegan's progressively aggressive behavior in recent months and warned officials in other states not to be fooled by his act. "He's certainly socially awkward in any social setting. But he's also not afraid to approach people. It doesn't take very long to find out he's a little bit different," Colbrese said. "What people don't realize is that he's very smart. He knows how to play the system. He just knows what to say and how to say it." Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

ModEx would be a great name for a band. I have nothing more to add. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

I assume you both know this from personal experience? Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

"I said I want M&Ms for Valentine's day." Seriously, I doubt this was a boyfriend/girlfriend thing anymore than Joey Buttafuoco and Amy Fisher were boyfriend and girlfriend. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

The biggest lesson for me is that it is completely illogical to let your actions be guided by an unseen, misunderstood, but supposedly all-powerful force. The Emperor "foresaw" many things and interpreted them incorrectly. But he also let countless employees die and feel neglected to cater to this invisible "force" thing. I think many of our leaders also follow the will of an unseen, all-powerful magical entity. They use it to make themselves feel better about killing foreigners and our own soldiers, as well as catering to their own narcissistic agendas. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

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I just want to point out what a lot of people overlook. It's not easy being a kid, either. A lot of people think they would like to go back, and probably don't recall how difficult it was. Yea, kids make mistakes, and they get vilified a lot more than adults do for it. The girl was venting. Her dad is a douche. I would have preferred he used something else to kill the laptop, it would have been more dramatic, and it would have put the focus on the subject, instead of guns. The anti-gun folks are probably going to make an issue of this, when the issue should be developing good relationships with our children. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

And if you were a cat, you wouldn't give a hoot what anyone else thought. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

Hamsters squeal like mice, and can be rather loud. My family had hamsters and gerbils (and cats) when I was a child. One can imagine how I know this. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

I heard he was bulimic, because he kept going to the Loos. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

I hope you start the "Too Skinny" thread at work, too Hypocrisy. He ain't just a Greek philosopher. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

I just want to express my disgust at the David Beckham underwear model Super Bowl commercial. That is definitely not a healthy look for an adult male. Why, a few hundred years ago, that man would never have survived a winter with such little body fat. Dude probably gets cold on the Riviera. Not to mention that there is no way that I can compete with a body like that, and it pisses me off! Why, you can see every ab muscle on the man, and that can't be good! How are young men supposed to maintain a healthy sense of self-respect, when elsewhere in the world, guys like that get paid millions of Pounds to kick a ball around and have women everywhere drooling over him? Exactly what is productive about the game of football (soccer for the American hicks), anyway? I also want to point out the obvious health risk of so many tattoos. It is well known that tattoo parlors spread blood-born disease, and the long-term health effects of ink in the bloodstream are not fully known. Not to mention that you look like you just got out of prison. I, for one, am boycotting David Beckham tighty-whiteys, and not just because there is no way I could pull off that look. Mostly, it's because I can't afford them. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD