Jayruss

was that a project with your left hand or right hand. I've never heard it called a project, killing kittens yeah __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

Lorena Bobbitt's sister Louella was arrested yesterday for an alleged attempt to perform the same act on her husband as her famous sister had done several years ago. Sources reveal the sister was not as accurate as Lorena. She allegedly missed the target and stabbed her husband in the upper thigh causing severe muscle and tendon damage. The husband is reported to be in serious, but stable condition and Louella has been charged with . . . Misdewiener __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

thats so cool!!! does she want to do it again? __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

I think the ladies will agree that its not the size, but how well the owner knows how to use it __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

Why was the blind and deaf Hellen Keller such a bad driver? Because she was a woman! __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

well really you do have the rest of your life to figure something out __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

Vibes Eric __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

Perfect... Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you." So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Marty asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door." Confused, Marty asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married!" A self-induced hangover - $100.00 Broken furniture - $200.00 Breakfast - $10.00 Saying the right thing - priceless __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

for like 8 years . . . . Happy bday lady __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

doing 60 ways with 60 jumps, thus the nice fired CYPRES head hanging on my wall __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude." She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican." "I am," replied the man. "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me." The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat." "I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?" "Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect ME to solve your problem. You're in EXACTLY the same position you were in before we met, but somehow now, it's MY fault." __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

Confucius say: to meet girl in park is good, but to park meat in girl is better. __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

Subj: 20 THINNEST BOOKS OF ALL TIMES 20. MY BEAUTY SECRETS by Janet Reno 19. HOW TO BUILD YOUR OWN AIRPLANE by John Denver 18. MY SUPER BOWL HIGHLIGHTS by Dan Marino 17. THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL by HILLARY CLINTON 16. MY LIFE'S MEMORIES by Ronald Reagan 15. THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD by Bill Gates 14. THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY by Dennis Rodman 13. MY WILD YEARS by Al Gore 12. AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC 11. AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS 10. DETROIT a Travel Guide 9. A COLLECTION of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES by DR J. Kevorkian 8. EVERYTHING MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN 7. EVERYTHING WOMEN KNOW ABOUT MEN 6. ALL THE MEN I HAVE LOVED BEFORE by Ellen de Generes 5. MIKE TYSON'S GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE 4. SPOTTED OWL RECIPES by the EPA 3. THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY 2. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS by O. J. Simpson And the world's Number One Thinnest Book ...... 1. MY BOOK OF MORALS - by Bill Clinton/with introduction by The Rev. Jessie Jackson __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying from copies, not the original manuscripts. So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this, pointing out that if there were an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies. The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son." So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours go by and nobody sees him. So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. Hearing sobbing coming from the back of the cellar, he finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books crying. He asks the old monk what's wrong, and in a choked voice came the reply, "The word is celebrate." __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

lol, so true __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

altitude: 14,000 aircraft: otter maneuver: 4-way description: 18 points, but don't remember them __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

QuoteI'm bored... just answer the damn questions: 1. Whats your name? Jason 2. How old are you? 24 3. Why did you decide to start jumping out of airplanes? My 18th birthday 4. Are you single or taken? Married? Taken 5. Do you have kids? No 6. What do you drive? 1987 Honda Accord 7. Have you ever done a kisspass? No 8. Where do you live? Whittier, California 9. Do you have any pets? Nope 10. How many jumps do you have? 554 11. What color eyes do you have? Brown 12. What is your nationality? American 13. Have you ever dated someone you met off the internet? Yes 14. Favorite Movie? Beaches 15. What do you do when you arent skydiving? Work 16. Have you ever BASE jumped? Nope 17. If not... do you want to? Yes 18. Do you have siblings? 1 older brother 19. Where do you want to travel to the most? Europe 20. What's your favorite color? Red 21. Where was the last place you flew to ( not skydiving )? NJ __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

I've always though Zero is a cool name for a dog __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

now that's funny

Two different theories exist concerning the origin of children: the theory of Sexual reproduction, and the theory of the stork. Many people believe in the theory of sexual reproduction because they have been taught this theory at school. In reality, however, many of the world's leading scientists are in favor of the theory of the stork. If the theory of sexual reproduction is taught in schools, it must only be taught as a theory and not as the truth. Alternative theories, such as the theory of the stork, must also be taught. Evidence supporting the theory of the stork includes the following: 1. It is a scientifically established fact that the stork does exist. This can be confirmed by every ornithologist. 2. The alleged human fetal development contains several features that the theory of sexual reproduction is unable to explain. 3. The theory of sexual reproduction implies that a child is approximately nine months old at birth. This is an absurd claim. Everyone knows that a newborn child is newborn. 4. According to the theory of sexual reproduction, children are a result of sexual intercourse. There are, however, several well documented cases where sexual intercourse has not led to the birth of a child. 5. Statistical studies in the Netherlands have indicated a positive correlation between the birth rate and the number of storks. Both are decreasing. 6. The theory of the stork can be investigated by rigorous scientific methods. The only assumption involved is that children are delivered by the stork. __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

ok listen fagot I'm so upset about all of this and your blatant expression of your love is sickening. You’re type turns my stomach, because of you some loving straight couple in Minnesota will have to get a divorce. The nerve you have to destroy happily married couples is astonishing!!! And what really tans my hide, where the fuck was my invitation? __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

the best part is that she might have gotten away with fake $20's __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

what the hell are you drinking then? __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

I think the picture says it all, its afternoon at my desk __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

It was entrance testing day for the CIA, and the race was down to two men and one woman. They stood in a hallway with three doors, awaiting instructions for the next practice assignment. "You!" said the proctor to the first man. "Take this gun, go into this room, shoot and kill whoever you find there." Blanching, the man took the gun, crept into the first room, and jumped as the door clanged shut behind him. Silence followed. Suddenly, the door opened, and the man rushed out, sobbing. "What happened?" asked the other two. "It was my wife," he said. "I just couldn't do it." "You're next!" barked the proctor at the second man. "Same instructions." Trembling, the man took the gun, slunk into the second room, and disappeared behind the thick metal door. Silence reigned for an eternal minute, and then a single shot rang out. Everyone waited outside with bated breath for the man to emerge. He rushed out and sat in a corner, pulling his knees up and hiding his head behind them. "I couldn't do it," he blubbered over and over. "I just couldn't kill my wife!" "Your turn!" the proctor said, handing the gun to the woman. "Go inside and shoot whoever you find." Grasping her weapon, the woman pulled open the door to the third room. For a second, there was nothing but silence, but all of the sudden shot after shot rang out, followed by a loud clatter; a crashing and smashing like none that had been heard yet that day. The woman strode out, wiping her hands on her legs, and was accosted by the others. "What happened?!" they asked. "Well," she said, "it was my husband all right. At first the gun stuck, but I got it working pretty quickly. Then it turned out the gun was only loaded with blanks, so I had to use a chair." The moral of the story is: beware. Women are evil and resourceful. Don't mess with them. __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes