PLFKING

Hey Geek-meister ! Another static-liner ? I thought we were going the way of the dinosaur........ 1) I don't know if you can refuse a spot while hanging from the strut -- my JM told me it's extremely dangerous to try to climb back in from that position. It sounds like you handled it fine. I didn't start spotting until jump 11 or 12.......your JM probably doesn't want to overwhelm you with too much to remember too soon. 2) If your lines are 10-12 feet long, and the static line is 10-12 feet long, your chute SHOULD start deploying within 25 feet after you release the strut. On a couple of my DRCPs, I'd actually get my hand on my DRC, then have it yanked away when my chute grabbed air. Plus, I was counting a lot faster than I normally do (I think it had to do with the fact that I was dangling 3/4 of a mile above the Earth, but I'm not 100% sure.......) All in all, I think you did fine. It sounds like you followed procedures, and used your head in preparing for an off-field landing. I'd give that jump a 10 ! And, on static-line, you will probably have line-twist on at least every other jump...... (and when you get off the dope-rope......that's when the fun starts !) That PLF Guy

I think we can all agree -- There IS only ONE SIS ! There will only be ONE SIS ! There will NEVER be ANOTHER SIS ! and... The world couldn't HANDLE another SIS ! Ape, you are DEFINITELY too much ! (he said, while trying to re-assemble himself from the puddle of jelly he was reduced to while laughing his ass off at April's latest diatribe straight out of left field !) The PLF .....er, Puddle !

Thanks, all, for the help -- I am mucho apprecianado.....I got several suggestions that I can use (and some were actually "printable" !) Lisa -- Can you explain the rules to "cardinal puff" ? I'm always interested in learning a new drinking game....and concerning SFE -- just tell me which dropzone, and which particular building, and I am SO THERE ! And thanks for your "express permission" -- I won't abuse the privilege. Zennie -- "He loves to pull in Cypress territory"...I've never heard that, but I definitely like it ! And what does "exited in a meeker" mean, O Mighty Zen-Master (your name isn't Phil Jackson, is it ?) Geekstreak-- After your story, I have to share this.....this has always been one of my mom's favorite stories -- I know I heard it a million times growing up. My dad joined the Navy at the start of his service career (sadly, the Red Cross helicopter he was piloting was shot down in 'Nam) and a friend of his was on latrine duty one week. His CO would always ream him during inspection, so one day, as a joke, he scrubbed the toilet until it was spotless, then put a dab of peanut butter under the water, right at the outlet. The CO comes in for inspection, sees it, goes ballistic, and shouts "What the hell is this, sailor ?" Dad's friend studies it for a moment with a baffled look on his face, reaches in and gets it out, then rolls it around between his fingers to feel the consistency, then puts it IN HIS MOUTH, grimaces, then looks at his CO, and with a straight face says, "Tastes like shit, Sir !" The CO's aide starts laughing, but the CO never blinked. He just looked at the guy and said "Good call, sailor -- and since you are so good at identifying waste, you now have latrine duty for two months. Carry on." He then saluted, and walked out ! I always chuckle when I think of this..... And the beer's in the mail ! The PLF Admiral Edited by PLFKING on 5/25/01 09:51 AM.

Hey Donna -- Feel free !! It definitely shut him up...... The PLF CFO

Hi Ann -- I always get asked " Do you ever think what will happen if your parachute doesn't open ?". I just roll my eyes and keep walking..... My favorite question was asked about 2 weeks ago, at my regular grocery store. One of my co-workers works there part-time as a cashier (she was working the next register over, and this whole thing was for her benefit), and this was on a Saturday night on the way home from the DZ. This 18-year-old boy is ringing up my purchase, and a couple of construction workers are behind me in line, each with a twelve-pack. This guy sees my skydiving t-shirt, and says "Hey--you skydive ?" Me : "Yep -- actually did 4 jumps today" Him : "How many times have you jumped ?" Me : "About 30". Him : "What's it like ?" Me : "It's really hard to explain..." Him : "Do you like it?" At this point, I look over at my co-worker, and she's got this grin on her face, so I tell the guy "No, not really. The only time I get to see my friends is on the weekends, and they always want to go jumping, so I ride in the plane with them, and about every other trip, 5 or 6 of them pin me down in the plane, and strap a rig on me, then open the door and push me out !" I wish you could have seen the look of incredulity on this guy's face ! It was absolutely priceless ! (in the meantime, Paige and the construction guys are laughing their asses off.........) The PLF Pundit

Yes !! This is EXACTLY the kind of stuff I'm looking for. I don't want to rip-off established songs or poetry -- just little one-liner zingers dedicated to the sport -- something that will stick in a non-divers head, and make them say "What does THAT mean ?". Like PTiger's two (not bad for a mediocre brain !). Diva's "Free your mind..." is too mainstream -- not exclusive to the sport, but I've heard the "Hold your breath" and that's already in..... And I'm lucky if I get 15 minutes a day lately to check on you guys, so I missed Frank's contibution -- I did, however, credit Skreamer and MikeD for the "takes the piss", and also got a laugh out of Skreamer's "taking a s*** in the cup on the golf green" from another thread........I still play occasionally, and never even CONSIDERED it until now, but you can bet when I tap in that par putt now, I'm taking a quick glance before I stick my fingers ANYWHERE (which might even be a good idea in a general sense for every aspect of life !). Keep 'em coming, and THANKS !! The PLF Potentate

Hi all. I've got a buddy here at work who heads a pretty good rock-and-roll / blues band, and at his request I've been working on a skydiving song for the last month, and am pretty pleased with the result so far. It's going to start off slow and ballady, build up the pace to the half-way point, recitations for about a minute-and-a-half, then finish strong. Although I've written poetry off-and-on all my life, this is the first time I've tried to mate it to song, and I'm not sure of all the terminology, so you knowledgeable people out there that I hear snickering in the background -- STOP IT ! Anyway, the "recitations" part will be just "talking" over a bass beat; no singing. I want to put into that section any skydiving-related sayings, mantras, one-liners, etc...that are relative to the sport.......just an example : playing chicken with the planet, arch thousand, two thousand, three thousand, pull, pull at altitude, pull with stability, pull and flare (from Lisa...if I may ?), blue ones, takes the piss... You see what I mean. I've only been in the sport for 7 months, so I want some help from you long-timers as far as cool things you've heard along this vein. I could really use the help ! You'll get your choice of either "album credit" or "beer".......(something tells me to get out the wallet !) Throw some cool shit at me ............ The PLF Composer

Hey sunnerl -- (What does that mean, btw ?) I did the S/l last August. My reasoning was I wanted to do everything BY MYSELF, and see if I liked it, because I wasn't sure if I would do more than 1 jump -- needless to say, I did ! Floating down under canopy, I had the most intense feeling of accomplishment that I can ever remember, and I did it all on my own. The only scary moments were letting go of that strut on the first jump, and my second 15-second delay (I didn't learn how to get stable with a JM right there with me like an AFF student would, so I was flipping and turning and spinning and trying to get stable before deployment) -- ended up pulling low but with stability at 2200 ft (but had alt. awareness the whole time) and scaring the s*** out of everyone in the vicinity but me ! However, I think if I had it to do over, I would probably go AFF. My AFF friends learned freefall techniques a lot quicker than I, and learned hand-signals much quicker, and I just think it's got to be less stressful with JMs hanging on to you. I know they had a lot of frustration sometimes trying to learn a particular skill and get to the next level, but I never heard anyone say they were in fear for their lives. My 5-second delays on S/L were kind of harrowing -- enough time to get in trouble stability-wise, but not enough time to get some wind to work with -- definitely NOT my favorite 4 jumps -- I felt like I was going to wrap up like a coccoon on every jump, and felt the pilot chute rub my leg on 2 different occasions -- that is definitely a feeling to induce panic in a student ! And I think in the long run that S/L is more expensive, because it's harder to learn by someone telling you something than it is to learn by someone moving your body into the correct positions. That PLF Guy

Hi guys -- Send the stray and excess dropzone kids to N.C. ! All the old-timers here on the forums know that I can put them to good use ! (I can't guarantee that they will return in the same condition, however........) The PLF Phlailer

Hey Palmetto Kitten -- Great minds COULD think alike, but I wasn't aware any of those existed in S.C. ! (couldn't resist.....sorry). My exit weight is around 250 lbs, and I've only got 33 jumps, so this PD 230 might be a little fast for me. I've only jumped it 3 times so far, and the landings are a little "speedier" than I care for, but I really like the way it handles, and opens, and I will get better at putting it on the ground eventually. I would definitely reccommend it ! And even though I haven't slept with it yet, it is leaning against the bedroom wall, so I can wake up 2-3 times a night and gaze lovingly at my "new lady"..... The "love-sick" PLF King

Hey froglet -- Tell Frank about the old adage of "good things coming in small packages".....you've always sounded like a "good thing" to me ! The PLF Proud Owner (of a used Vector II, PD 230, Raven 218 -- I haven't slept with her yet, but then, I've only had her for 5 days !)

Hey Kris -- I thought I was the only one who knew about the alphabit tracing ! But I don't know any foreign or dead languages....I just alternate between upper case.....lower case.......block letters.......cursive letters........etc. Usually she goes ballistic somewhere between lower case and block letters, depending on the "speed" at which I'm tracing ! And I read this somewhere when I was younger, and never forgot it..... "If the pleasures of sex be a factor of ten, Thrice three go to women -- one only to men." In my experience, truer words were never spoken...... The PLF Prince

Yeah, Head Honcho -- what Sis said !! I've been waiting since last August...... The PLF Friar

Hey folks -- When I was into the bar scene (twenty years ago !) my best friend would use this line on perfect strangers....." Honey, I would eat your shit for a mile, just to see where it came from !" I could never use that line myself, but it worked for him about 30% of the time....never ceased to amaze me ! Don A-38283 (just got my license confirmation yesterday -- been dying to use it !)

Hey Carrie -- I think the place you're discussing is at Stone Mountain, Ga. But be careful -- I've read two different reports stating that hangliding is statistically more dangerous than skydiving...(did I REALLY just tell a SKYDIVER to be CAREFUL ?!!??! What was I thinking ???) The PLF Magistrate ps Just to verify -- you ARE talking about "hangliding", NOT "handgliding", right ? (that would be a completely different experience, and probably exclusive to the men here--after all, we didn't have to buy our equipment !)

Don't forget me ! I'm nice to leggy blondes also...and leggy brunettes....and redheads.....and women.......and girls.......oh, and obese kids too ! The PLF Sultan

I put a smile on a pretty lady's face -- my work here on Earth is done ! And turn-about is fair play -- I got the look from my compadres as well when I read your post.....and I'll keep trying SDD (are you sure the Texas phone lines are still working, or do you think maybe a cow chewed the string in half ?). The PLF Cowpoke(r) (and I had to laugh at the very last shot you took -- you just couldn't let the man rest in peace, could you !)

My dear Ms. Burgess -- I was an associate of the PLF King, and just wanted to inform you that the N.C. Bureau of Investigation has just issued an APB for you, and are indicting you on Murder One charges. You cut him quite badly with your sharp, rapier-like wit, and, unfortunately, he died shortly afterwards from his injuries. He was found at his computer terminal, with his bloody fingers still on the keyboard, trying to type a response to your post, which was still on the screen. Also, there is now a pool of his blood all over the floor, and his company will in all likelihood be suing you to recover clean-up expenses. Just thought you'd like to be informed, and to ask you if you can live with yourself after taking the life of this strong, vibrant man. Just because he had bad taste in professional hockey teams was no reason for you to inflict that much pain upon him prior to his death. You should be ashamed..... On a lighter note, he tried 3 times this past week to contact Skydive Dallas to credit your account in the amount of one jump ticket, but he couldn't get anyone to pick up the phone. What's the matter with you Texans, anyway ? As his friend, and because he asked me to resolve this in the event of his death, I will continue to try to contact SDD, and take care of this matter. Sincerely, The late PLF King's friend

Hey Diva ! I strongly feel that our country should support our servicemen in every aspect -- these "boys in blue" are America's first line of defense, and should be treated with honor and respect. It is not Wingnut's fault that the U.S. Mail system is sometimes flawed. In that vein, I want to do my part. So, come down here to N.C., and let's re-take those naked pictures so we can send them to Wingnut as you had promised. That way, you live up to your word, our servicemen feel appreciated, and the world keeps turning. I am the only one who will not personally gain from this experience... (Yeah, RIGHT !) (as far as the homemade cookies, we'll just throw some Chips Ahoy in a bag -- Wingnut's probably not bright enough to know the difference anyway........) The "Patriotic" PLF King

And the FreakSis chimes in with her also-erroneous opinion ! Damn, Jess, I always thought you and April were attractive, intelligent, desirable women......but now I'm beginning to wonder if something in the Texas water is starting to erode your minds............. (The Dallas Stars still SUCK !) The "I'm sure that I'll now be banned from Texas for life" PLF King

Hey Diva ! What kind of trouble have you been into lately ? The PLF Mayor

Skreamer -- Well, I just laughed my ass off, and it's sitting under my chair......... You are one sick son-of-a- b**** !! The PLF Regent

Thanks, Skreamer, for the explanation......... "DropZone.com -- your one-stop source for all your educational needs !" (Sangiro -- feel free to copyright the slogan.....) The PLF Khan

Hi all-- My calendar says that today is Anzac Day in New Zealand.....I've never heard of it. Anyone care to enlighten me, and help educate a poor country boy from North Carolina ? The "Puzzled" PLF King

You shouldn't insult the innocent skeet -- comparing them to lawyers like that .........