Hey Ruskin
I don't usually respond to posts, but I can tell you I've been in your position and can understand the fear.
On the day I got my solo certification, I went up for my celebration jump (no radio, 1st time totally on my own), I had a 2 out malfunction at a 1000 ft. Luckily everything was fine, but it freaked the living hell out of me. I did a few more jumps (my mom always said get back on the horse), but couldn't cure the fear. All I could think about from the moment I got on the plane to the ground was the canopy ride and the landing. I stopped jumping for about 11 months and had lots of time to pound that fear into my head. I almost gave up jumping and a very smart skydiving friend of mine told me I just had to learn how to compartmentalize.
His advice was
1.to accept that the fear only goes away with currency, and sometimes never. If you can accept that, you can deal with it.
2. In your mind create compartments for each stage of the jump (exit, arch, pull, canopy, landing). This way you can concentrate on each step you have to do at the time, until it gets natural.
And his last piece of advice (which sounds funny but very true)
3. If you get unstable, Arch like a mother-f*****
Chipping and spinning is a pretty normal thing for students to encounter and it's a good thing because then when you get back into your strong arch, you can see how to stop doing both.
Keep trying, I still have the fear but it's getting easier to deal with now. And like everyone has said, it's amazing what happens when you try to relax!
Don't give up, the fun is just beginning!