TylerDurden
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Everything posted by TylerDurden
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It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you're sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car.
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Ok all you Chefs whats your Favorite Dish to make?
TylerDurden replied to Viking's topic in The Bonfire
The microwave cordon-bleu hobby kit. -
Ya know those, white plastic, stackable chairs?
TylerDurden replied to The_Don's topic in The Bonfire
DID YOU KNOW? You can use old worn out tires for campfire kindling. -
Lou's Tavern.
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Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think every thing you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned- Tyler.
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It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Angelina Jolie's pussy.
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Start a fight with a complete stranger.
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Did you know that a car powered by electricity traveling at 40 M.P.H. causes just as much damage as a car powered by gas?
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Sitting motionless, nothing happening spring coming grass growing.
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He who knows others is wise; He who knows himself is enlightened.
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You wake up at Seatac, SFO, LAX. You wake up at O'Hare, Dallas-Fort Worth, BWI. Pacific, mountain, central. Lose an hour, gain an hour. This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. You wake up at Air Harbor International. If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?
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What is your opinion of the Bonfire forum?
TylerDurden replied to cocheese's topic in Speakers Corner
I've been going to Debtor's Anonymous. You want to see some really fucked up people!? -
You have to know the answer to this question! If you died right now, how would you feel about your life?
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You are not your number of jumps.
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Alphonzo or Alafonts if he is Italian. I often go by the name Rupert or Cornilius.
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Industry slang for flight attendent: Air Matress.
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We are a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman in our life is what we really need.
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I'm a night person. While the rest of you are sleeping, I work. I have one part time job as a projectionist. See, a movie doesn't come all on one big real. It comes on a few. So someone has to be there to switch the projectors at the exact moment that one reel ends and the next one begins. If you look for it, you can see these little dots come into the upper right-hand corner of the screen. In the industry, we call them "cigarette burns." That's the cue for a changeover. I flip the projectors, the movie keeps right on going, and nobody in the audience has any idea. ~Why would anyone want this shit job?~ Because it affords me other interesting opportunities. Like splicing single frames of pornography into family films. So in the movie when the snooty cat and the courageous dog with the celebrity voices meet for the first time, thats when you can catch my contribution.-a single frame of smut- Nobody knows they saw it....but they saw it.
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Did you know if you mixed equal parts of gasoline and frozen orange juice concentrate you can make napalm?
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Hitting bottom isn't a weekend retreat. It's not a goddamn seminar. Stop trying to control everything and just let go! LET GO!
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Three pitchers of beer and you still can't ask?? Aww man! Go ahead, cut the foreplay and just ask.
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Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else.
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It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Pam Anderson's pussy.
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Don't let everyday life get to you. I say take a commonly used expression and act it out. Todays phrase:"Abuse the copy machine." Drop what you're doing and have a go at it. Send us pictures and we'll post them.
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Hey, you created me. I didn't create some loser alter-ego to make myself feel better. Take some responsibility!