Gato

Yeah, the guy who signs your paycheck says exactly the same thing every month. T.I.N.S.

This is nothing new, however I find it surprising that you've essentially been "targeted." (Also, ipod kids, this is not an outrage, and it's not "the man keeping you down.") Here's the deal: If you perform someone else's material in a public place, regardless of whether a performer is being paid, it is considered a public performance, and is therefore a "reproduction." You know the little warning on the front of a DVD that says "Reproduction or public performance prohibited by law?" Well, the same thing is on your CDs' liner notes. If the owner sells one additional cup of coffee because of that performance, he has to pay for that. Period. If you don't want to pay the fees, you must never allow any rendition of any cover song to be performed in the shop. But I'd ask you this: How many customers stick around for all original stuff? (By the way, to a business owner, the friends and parents of the performers don't count.) Nightclubs, casinos, and any restaurant that has live music, broadcast major sporting events, and the like all have to pay fees to companies like BMI or ASCAP, which are essentially clearing houses for artists and record companies. They make sure artists get paid. When Chevy used the song "Like A Rock" their truck commercials, it was one of these companies that made sure Bob Seger got paid (well) for it. Rappers have to pay to hijack the beats and hooks of our favorite old songs for any of their "remakes." Can you say, "Vanilla Ice?" If the owner doesn't have one, he needs an attourney. In all probability, the suit won't go very far, he may have to pay some back fees and make sure he's paying into the system from now on. Being in business is complicated. Owning a food/drink establishment is infinitely more complicated. It ain't like havin' a lemonade stand. Speaking as a professional musician, I can tell you that if you perform any of my songs in public, you can bet your ass I want to be paid for it. My mortgage absolutely fucking demands it. I don't work for free, and you don't either. Thus endeth the rant. T.I.N.S.

A lot of inexperienced men think you're just supposed to stick your face down there and start munchin'. Ladies, you MUST let these men know what they are doing wrong, as well as what they're doing right. I made the mistake of moving in with a girl when I was 22 who would have no part of giving - and she got the willies when I wanted to provide that service for her. Once. This may gross out some of the younger ones, but what turned this girl around was me getting her off and then kissing her immediately afterward. She suddenly understood why I liked it so much. She still wouldn't give me head, and she couldn't actually come out and say she wanted oral, but she would hint around about it. Remember, gentlemen: It's not a race, and women don't "abuse" their tender parts like we do ours (the penile death-grip, etc.) and their equipment is a lot more delicate than ours. You need to ask your lady about pressure, rhythm, direction, lips, toungue, and teeth. Isn't oral sex the main reason God gave us the Brazilian wax-job? T.I.N.S.

Last year, in October, I Googled "human flight" just for fun. This video was the 2nd search result. I had no idea a wingsuit even existed then. I could not believe how damn cool it was see him just glide away. Two weeks later, I found a DZ, and had my first jump course and first SL jump. I will fly the wingsuit by next summer. Only 194 jumps to go . . . . . . . T.I.N.S.

Those would be the ones that are within reach. T.I.N.S.

Well, I should think this would have been obvious, but how about: The Gateway Boogie or The Arch HARD Boogie or The Arch-Like-You-Mean-It Boogie or The Western Gate Boogie or Hell of the Midwest Boogie If one of us names the boogie, will you waive registration fees? T.I.N.S.

If you are a single woman, that section does not apply to you. Come back and talk about it after you've been married to the same person for a few years. I guarantee your idea of a turn-on will change. Even if you marry the most attractive, sexiest, most exciting person ever, you'll get tired of it when they don't clean the house or wear clean socks. Sexy is graded on a curve, at that point. Please know that all this was intended to be silly - how to get laid, and keep getting laid without feeling like a complete tool. And it is based on real-world field research. (Read: I get laid well and often, not because I do these things, but because I am cognizant of my wife's needs and desires, and I don't try to trick or manipulate her into fucking me.) Ten years of marriage teaches you stuff. Ask any woman who's married if it's creepy for her husband to do the dishes or her laundry. PS: I know guys have tried everything to try and get you into bed, Sunshine - I was just trying to say, "Be real about it." T.I.N.S.

Ah, Miss BlueEyes - The jerks will give themselves away in the little things they do. Unfortunately, you don't often see these thing until after you've spent the night with them. We may be a bit blinded by physical beauty and sexual attraction, and choose to overlook the things that should send us into Red Alert. I'm going to let you in on a little secret: Most of us (men) view our current reality through what I call the "Penile Filter." Information from the outside world is filtered through the genitals first, then it travels to the brain. Understand this. Some of us have learned to redirect the flow of information straight to the brain, but it is an ongoing struggle within my gender. This is a lot like skydiving - the idea of it is vastly different from the reality of it. The idea of being in love with that perfect person who totally gets you is so engrained into our culture, that we forget that we need to be friends in addition to being lovers. Call upon me anytime. Dr. Gato Edited to add: BlueEyes, I forgot to tell you, regarding "Nice Syndrome," just be sure that being nice is being nice because you absolutely want to, not because you think the other person will appreciate it. It also means you should NEVER, EVER be afraid to ask for what you want, because you know you deserve it. Focus on the fact that what you really want is happiness and love, show that to the world, and enjoy the fact that you are a strong, independent, and beautiful woman who has FREEDOM to do whatever you want. Hope this helps.

(This is going to turn into a relationship advice column......) Well, I wasn't going to say anything about this, because I know how much I didn't like hearing it. And here is the word: Cuddle. You must cuddle the woman. You know the word. You may hate it. Learn to do it. Learn to be close without pointing an erection at her, or trying to get at her goodies. I'm sorry. It has to be said. If the question is, "How can I get laid more often?", and you want to remain single, then seek out a FWB or NSA type arrangement. They exist, but unfortunately, not always with single people. Be careful. On the other hand, if you seek a partner whom you can like, love, and screw, then my advice is to simply stop looking so hard. Don't let yourself ask questions like "What's wrong with me?" or "Why can't I find ______?" Ask yourself instead, "How can I attract the ideal person for me?" This will lead you to the conclusion that you must BE the type of person you want to attract. Then the ideal person will seek you out. Don't be surprised if the girl of your dreams asks you out. It kicks ass! Best of luck to you, and don't forget to put a helmet on that soldier. Dr. Gato T.I.N.S.

Why thank you - and yes!! Without being indiscreet, my wife "appreciates" me rather frequently. Here's hoping someone is "appreciating" you as often as you'd like! (I just thought of this: Let us remember that it's not called "taking head.") T.I.N.S.

OK, this may be a cheesy answer, but I've been married for almost 10 years, so I have figured out a few things. - Do something around the house she wasn't expecting you to do. (Some sure-fire point winners are washing the sheets & making the bed, or doing the dishes she thought she was going to have to wash, or fixing the leaky faucet in the kitchen.) - If you are qualified to do so, do her laundry, and do whatever folding or hanging that needs to be done. Best to let her put away the folded things, as the panty drawer is off limits (IF you are a gentleman.) - Prepare a lovely light dinner with stuff you know she likes, and for God's sake, don't let her do the dishes afterwards. Watch Rachel Ray or Emeril if you're not confident in the kitchen. Bless Rachel - she's jumped, and she knows how to score us sexy-points with food. The best part of taking this approach is that you don't do it all at once on the same day. Just do something she wasn't expecting you to do TODAY. If you do all this at once, it will be more than obvious to her what you're trying to do, and you will look like an ass. Just the facts. Oh, and trim your fucking toenails. Keep your fingernails clean, and wash your damn hands like your mother told you. There, that's better. Can't touch a clean kitty with dirty paws. The key here is do it without looking for praise or calling attention to it in any way. Translation: You have to want to do this stuff for her (and you) in the first place, otherwise you're using manipulation to get laid. Could I perhaps get an "Amen," Skymama? T.I.N.S.

As a matter of fact, there have been many Green Lantern "guardians" in many different galaxies, so Green Lantern Ladies would be totally cool. I am the Green Lantern as well. What's wierd is I kind of knew that would end up being the result while I was taking the quiz. Psychic geek am I. T.I.N.S.

I don't know that this will do any good at all, and I may just be setting myself up for a toasting. I don't care. What follows are just some questions I've been asking myself. They are driven by ideas and perspectives of mine - maybe you feel the same, maybe you don't. This is not in any way intended to point fingers, or blaspheme in the churches of either Al Franken or Ann Coulter. I have conservative views and opinions on some things, and I have liberal views and opinions on other things. These have no basis in political thought, as per se; they come from my own personal sense of right and wrong. So, would it be appropriate to call myself either of these things? And if I can't put a finger on how to align myself, is it ever appropriate for anyone else to identify me as such? Am I only a statistic? The media tells us how we feel, how divided we are. Is this true? Do you all feel so separate from others? From me? I feel very close to you all here, because I know what it feels like to let go of a plane in flight, and I have the eyes of a skydiver now. If the media refers to a soldier as a "troop", does that soften the blow when that son or daughter is sent away or killed? These brave souls who protect our freedom are PEOPLE. Men and women. A person is not a troop, a thing, or a commodity to be won or lost. There is no such thing as acceptable losses, and no revenge that is justifiable. One of my heroes is a Recon Marine named Rudy Reyes, one of my wife's childhood friends, who became my friend and teacher. He's not a troop. He's a man, and I know a lot of people who really, really love this guy. Thank God he was spared, that he came back to his wife and family. (Were it not for Rudy, I NEVER would have started down the path of a skydiver.) Isn't it true that most desparate acts (by an otherwise healthy and functional human or animal) are driven by hopelessness, fear, or lack? Have we not all felt this? Does acting out of desparation turn a person evil? Does acting out of ignorance make a person stupid? Does acting out of hunger make you a criminal? How would you know the difference, in any case? It's time for us to stop killing each other, stop taking from one another. I am so very happy to have a body, and to have the opportunity to experience this life I've been given. Nothing I can ever do in this life can compare to how amazing it is to be alive in the first place. I know for a fact that I was dealt a good hand to be born in the US, to make a living as a musician, to have a wife that loves me (and still gives me head after 9 years of marriage), and to have the chance to fly with you folks. After 40 years on this planet, my life keeps getting better, and yet I see death all around me. How can I change that? How can I help ease the suffering of others? I should be looking for that opportunity, yes? It is my belief that we are all more alike than we are different. Our greatest hope is for a long, healthy, and happy life, and our greatest fears are old age, disease, and death. Until we all can see the value in others, we will continue as we always have. I don't see that as acceptable, and I hope you don't, either. Thanks for reading. Help somebody out today, and thank a soldier whenever you can. T.I.N.S.

I really hope I get the chance to jump with you someday, Turtle. I have a feeling that your ability to gross me out here can't hold a candle to what you're capable of in person. Are you, by any chance, the guy who has to screen all the vids that will make it onto the web? A wise man once said, "No, I didn't make it up - I just had the lack of class to repeat it." T.I.N.S.

That action by Clinton was political and SOP when a new president takes office - what makes this move by Gonzales and the Bush administration so unusual (and therefore suspect) is why they chose to do it now. The culture of lies and media sound-byte spin will continue until we decide we're not going to up with it any longer. T.I.N.S.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this thread! 1. My life 2. My wife 3. Our health, and incidental wealth one gets from being born in the US. 4. My family 5. Oh yeah, and the money/ability/circumstance that allows me to jump. Thanks again, O Radiant One. T.I.N.S.

No need to go that far, I think. Remember, every day above ground is a good day. Continue venting - it'll help! T.I.N.S.

Visit a dropzone in person. Talk to people face-to-face, and check out their eyes. The only way to know for sure if you want to do it is to get yourself close to the real thing. Believe in yourself, and DO NOT obsess over what can go wrong - you 'll be trained in how to handle that in your first jump course. Good Fortune and Big Fun, Gato T.I.N.S.

My maternal grandmother, who is a Methodist, tried her best to drill the Bible into my head when I was a child. When I was 19, I asked myself the following question: If what she says is true, and God knows all, sees all, and apparently forgives all, why would he intentionally create any soul that He knows will end up in a place beyond any hope of redemption? Free will is not an adequate or logical answer, nor is luck, fate, or anything we might call "destiny." I refuse to live an unhappy life in the hope of some post mortem state of spiritual bliss. I refuse to live in fear of punishment after I've gone from this life. One reason I think the concept of hell became popular is because it's a great way to justify "Godly Acts" like the crusades or the nazi genocide during World War II. It's easy to think, "Well God punishes the wicked, and so can we," or "We will seek out the evil-doers and bring them to justice." But it is not our responsiblity to punish people whom we consider "evil." True, they may have to be removed from society for a time, but then EVERYONE deserves a shot at redemption. To proclaim otherwise is to say that you know better than God, that vengeance is yours. I have since come to believe that hell is a state of mind and body, and it occurs in our waking lives. Depression, fear, hopelessness, and pain can keep us locked in cycles we can't recognize to see through or break free of. It might also be a metaphor for the cycle of reincarnation. Likewise, Heaven is a state I think we all experience at some point in our lives. Parents and lovers (everybody) can all identify a moment when they were more happy than they ever believed possible, literally feeling "full" of joy to the point of bursting. Here is a quote from Neal Donald Walsh: "There is no blackboard in the sky, on which God has written your purpose. Your life will be the one you create it as; your mission is the one you give yourself, and no one will stand in judgement of it now or later." T.I.N.S.

My wife and I just watched 'The Secret' so I came up with this one. (PS: If anyone wants to discuss this topic, I'm going to start a thread in Speaker's Corner.) T.I.N.S.

In no particular order, here's a few of my favorites: Steve Morse - the Dixie Dregs (and Deep Purple) Steve Vai John Petrucci - Dream Theater Eric Johnson Jimi Hendrix Paul Gilbert Mark Knopfler Keith Urban (sp?) (He kicks ass!) Vince Gill (Hey, check him out!) Gato (Hey, check me out.) If you say girls can't play, you might say they can't skydive, and then they will kick your ass (out-play, out-jump, etc.) Then they will remind you how they kicked your ass and you'll deserve it. T.I.N.S.

72% - I'd say that's pretty good for a 40-year-old guy. Either that, or it's very disturbing. T.I.N.S.

Try a few hundred handfuls. Tube amps are still being made, but what's wierd is the fact that no new tubes have been made in several decades. So almost every tube being offered on the market are old Russian and Chinese military from the 50's and 60's, just very intensely tested. If you'd like information on modern tube amp design, check this out: www.mesaboogie.com The owner, Randall Smith, is to guitar amps what Bill Booth is to jump gear. I personally have owned 5 Mesa amps, and I currently use a Boogie Mark III from 1989. Most every pro player I know uses a tube amp, and I won't use anything else. Incidentally, Fender has been building reissues of their classic amps and guitars for quite a long time now, and they do kick ass. Tubes amps rule!!! Heavy as shit, but loud as hell! T.I.N.S.

Yeah!!!! Equilibrium kicks ass! Christian Bale also played the lead in Reign of Fire. I was really disappointed in Ultraviolet - I think they were trying to compete with the Aeon Flux movie. (Mmmmmm, Charlize Theron . . . skin-tight jumpsuits . . . mmmmm!) I was equally disappointed with the BloodRayne movie. Who puts up the cash to get these POS movies made? Just because the flick has decent T&A doesn't mean I'll put up with bad acting and stupid dialogue. With all the bad movies I've seen, I'm sure I should get at least 2 days of my life back. T.I.N.S.

I think I might have a theory: Along the lines of a previous post, the teperature of the room may be a factor, as heat rises and cold falls. In addition, I'd be willing to bet there's a noticable difference in humidity levels as well. My guess is that the most moist air is closest to the floor. Hope you feel better soon! Chris T.I.N.S.