Slappie

****WARNING - The following is a joke. If you take offense at the following then you have a serious problem. Warning over*** TEN COMMANDMENTS (EBONICS STYLE) 1. I'm God. Don't play me. (I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt not have any other Gods before me) 2. Don't be making no hood ornaments and charms outta me, or like me. (Thou shalt not have any graven images) 3. Don't be callin' me for no reason. (Thou shalt not use the name of the Lord thy God in vain) 4. Y'all betta be in church on Sunday. (Remember to keep the Sabbath day holy) 5. Don't dis or cuss yo momma......and if you know who ya daddy is, don' dis him neither. (Honor they father and mother) 6. Don't be goin' on no drive bys. (Thou shalt not kill) 7. Stick to ya own Boo!!! (Thou shalt not commit adultery) 8. Don't be borrowing stuff and don't gi' it back. (Though shalt not steal) 9. Don't be snitchn on the uva man to save yourself. (Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy brother) 10. Don't be eyein' (skeeming) yo homies crib, ride, woman or nuffin. (Thou shalt not covet anything that belongs to thy brother) Blue Skies!http://www.geocities.com/scollins77057/index.html

MM, freeflir29 has his own stable of stump-broken sheep .... Blue Skies!http://www.geocities.com/scollins77057/index.html

I'll still be a low low timer and I'm sure I can handle flailing around in the sky!! Blue Skies!http://www.geocities.com/scollins77057/index.html

Ok now you've seen the conversation what do you guys & gals think? Be honest wouldn't it be cool to be at a festival and have a dz.comer BABY BORN?? hahaha Blue Skies!http://www.geocities.com/scollins77057/index.html

F111 blk-rainbow-black 280 ugliest canpoy I've seen yet!! Blue Skies!http://www.geocities.com/scollins77057/index.html

Any Texans out there?? Blue Skies!http://www.geocities.com/scollins77057/index.html

Any Texas Skydivers wanna split gas and stuff please leave me a message or email me. I really wanna go to this but it would be ruff driving it alone

OMG!! An actual festival I might be able to jump at!!!! By Nov. 1st I should be off student status!! Ok this is only a maybe but plan on me being there!!! I can drive thru in about 14 hours

I have to vote for INNIE... I would like to see a list of options on a skydiver... another list hmmmm rut ro! I'm thinking again and the doctors told me not to think Blue Skies!http://www.geocities.com/scollins77057/index.html

FREEFLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Blue Skies!http://www.geocities.com/scollins77057/index.html

I can see by the posts it's "jack" with the newbie day!! WhoooooooooHoooooooooooo Blue Skies!http://www.geocities.com/scollins77057/index.html

I'm still trying to find my Skydiving Trophy Wife!! So I can complete my plan of evil proportions to dominate world politics and take over the WORLD!!! muahahahahhaaaaa!!! With a Trophy Wife the media will be focusing on her while I work my evil deeds in the back ground.... GAWD WHAT A PLAN!! Any Trophy Wife wannabes out there? I can promise a life of world domination and all the skydives you can handle!! Blue Skies!http://www.geocities.com/scollins77057/index.html

Monday: It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls. Tuesday: Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Bob brought a friend home for supper. Wednesday: A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kinda of silly but took a bath. I can't say it improved the rice any. Thursday: Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led up to Bob asking me why I was rolling around in the garden? Friday: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left. Saturday: Bob did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy). For some reason Bob keeps counting to ten. Sunday: Bob's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast. All I could find was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment. Good night Dear Diary. This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Bob. If we could just get a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with Chocolate Moose. *I'm hiding under my desk from all the blondes!! Blue Skies!http://www.geocities.com/scollins77057/index.html

Ok folks keep um coming I'm adding the ideas to the list and putting your nickname next to it :)

Pammi Listen to the song about 1:30sec and it's "Nysync you will die if you listen to me" he says it twice it's just too funny... unless your a "boy band" fan *shrugs* I would think if your listening to Disturbed then your not listening to Nysync or the BackDoorBoys.... Blue Skies!http://www.geocities.com/scollins77057/index.html

Pammi Listen to it about a minute and a half into it.... NSYNC YOULL DIE IF YOU LISTEN TO ME!! it's TFF.. Blue Skies!http://www.geocities.com/scollins77057/index.html

I don't even want to hear it! I live in a very big city {Houston} and I'm in a very populated area the Galleria and I can not get either. Cable nor DSL now go figure!? Buy me a BEER so I can cry and whine into it... on another note I'm going to the DZ this afternoon and YOUR NOT!! Blue Skies!http://www.geocities.com/scollins77057/index.html

I AM GOING TO FRANCE THE BABES ARE HOTTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Blue Skies!http://www.geocities.com/scollins77057/index.html

Your posting from work???? OMG!! Call the BOSS!! hahahahaha If I wasn't able to surf from work I'd go completely insane.. well more off the edge then I already am

The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions for the first time, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions. The old priest suggests, "Cross you arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand." The new priest tries this. The old priest suggests, "Try saying things like,'I see' 'yes, go on,' and 'I understand.' 'How did you feel about that?'" The new priest says those things. The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying, 'No shit??..... What happened next!!" Blue Skies!http://www.geocities.com/scollins77057/index.html

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial -- a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you." The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him." At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!" Blue Skies!http://www.geocities.com/scollins77057/index.html

You guys I have a chat network up and running 24/7 so you can chat even when The Pub is closed

Yea what Hackey said... DuH me! I just forgot to include the website Blue Skies!http://www.geocities.com/scollins77057/index.html

Lately I've been listening to these groups on the way to the DZ.. Probably not for children of any age. Disturbed Drowning Pool Saliva AC/DC Iron Maiden Blue Skies!http://www.geocities.com/scollins77057/index.html

FREEFALL SKILLS 1. Demonstrate freefall control on all axes, with a backloop, front loop, and barrel roll performed within 60 degrees of the initial heading. I* __________Date ________ 2. Dive a minimum of 100 feet after another jumper and dock safely without assistance from the other jumper (two). I __________Jump # ______ I __________Jump # ______ 3. Plan and execute a break-off from a group sky-dive where the applicant independently achieves a minimum 100 feet of horizontal separation from another individual or group while maintaining flight in a straight track within ten degrees of a radial heading from the center of the formation. I __________Jump # ______ 4. Demonstrate the ability to locate and open clear of all other jumpers and giving a wave-off deployment signal. I __________Jump # ______ 5. Jump and deploy while stable within five sec-onds during a jump from 3,500 feet AGL. I __________Jump#________ 6. Complete 20 skydives. I __________Date ________ CANOPY SKILLS 1. Plan and fly a landing approach pattern that promotes smooth traffic flow and avoids obstacles. I __________Jump#________ 2. Demonstrate a correct parachute landing fall during an actual landing under canopy. I __________Jump#________ 3. Perform a braked approach and landing. I __________Jump#________ *All initial blocks require a USPA Accelerated Freefall, Instructor-Assisted Deployment, or Static-Line Instructor. 4. Land within 20 meters of a preselected target on at least five jumps. I __________Jump#________ I __________Jump#________ I __________Jump#________ I __________Jump#________ I __________Jump#________ 5. Perform rear-riser turns (brakes set and released). I __________Jump# ________ 6. Above 1,000 feet, perform a maximum-perfor-mance 180-degree toggle turn, following a turn of at least 90 degrees in the opposite direction (two). I __________Jump#________ I __________Jump#________ 7. Above 1,000 feet, perform front riser dives and turns (may be waived if insufficient strength). I __________Jump#________ 8. Accurately predict the presence and effects of turbulence in the landing area. I __________Date ________ EQUIPMENT KNOWLEDGE 1. Demonstrate inspection, donning, use, and general maintenance of all equipment to be used on the jump. I __________Date ________ 2. Calculate and compare wing loading of both main and reserve canopies against the manufacturer’s published recommendations. I __________Date ________ 3. Demonstrate the understanding, use, and disconnection of a reserve static line. I __________Date ________ 4. Demonstrate the understanding and use of an automatic activation device. I __________Date ________ 5. Pack a main parachute without assistance. I __________Date ________ Blue Skies!http://www.geocities.com/scollins77057/index.html