SkydiveMonkey

0:0 and (you guessed it) 0. Being at my parents house sucks. Got 1st beach jump, 1st 12-way, 1st x-country and 100 jump coming up next weekend so that'll be good !! ____________________ Say no to subliminal messages

Is that real? Man that is CLOSE !!! ____________________ Say no to subliminal messages

Can't wait for it. We're getting another plane down (only an Islander but hey) to complement our 182, so we're going to be able to get 12 ways etc. Plus we're doing beach jumps and a 12 way x-country as well (I think and hope!!) It sucks being at home no-where near a dz. I have my train tickets ready to go, my reserve has been repacked at the dz and is ready to go. 5 days to go !!

If that happens, dive out after him and steal his rig !! ____________________ Say no to subliminal messages

You can always work off the "what they don't know won't hurt them" rule ____________________ Say no to subliminal messages

Our dz is getting an Islander down for a weekend and we're getting 12 ways together. What do you think is the best way to launch from 2 seperate a/c? 4 way from the 182 with everyone in the islander diving down? ____________________ Say no to subliminal messages

Yeah, lose the grey. Make sure to get hip rings - I like the difference they make. ____________________ Say no to subliminal messages

erm .... no. Wanker is usually used as an insult meaning someone who "jerks off". ____________________ Say no to subliminal messages

So you didn't see the squad they were originally going to put out? (See attached) ____________________ Say no to subliminal messages

> GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: > 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. > 2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. > 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the > second person. > 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato. > 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food. > 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. > 7) Never hold a Hoover and a cat at the same time. > 8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. > 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. > 10) The best place to be when you're sad is Granddad's lap. > ======================================================== > > GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED: > > 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree. > 2) Wrinkles don't hurt. > 3) Families are like fudge . . .mostly sweet, with a few nuts. > 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground. > 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside. > 6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the > joy. > ==================================================== > > GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD > > 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. > 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. > 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're > down there. > 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking > chair that you once got from a roller coaster. > 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers > to ask you the questions. > 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. > 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone. > ======================================================= > > THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE: > > 1) You believe in Santa Claus. > 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. > 3) You are Santa Claus. > 4) You look like Santa Claus. > ======================================================== > > SUCCESS: > > At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants. > At age 12 success is . . . having friends. > At age 17 success is . . . having a drivers license. > At age 20 success is . . . having s*x. > At age 35 success is . . . having money. > At age 50 success is . . . having money. > At age 60 success is . . . having s*x. > At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license. > At age 75 success is . . . having friends. > At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants. ____________________ Say no to subliminal messages

the answer is 5000 as computers have different priorites when doing maths. ____________________ Say no to subliminal messages

I'm sure some of you can relate to this "COMPETITIVE SALARY" We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY" We have no time to train you. "CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE" We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up. "MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED" You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day. "SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED" Some time each night and some time each weekend. "DUTIES WILL VARY" Anyone in the office can boss you around. "MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL" We have no quality control. "CAREER-MINDED" Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way). "APPLY IN PERSON" If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled. "NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE" We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality. "SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE" You'll need it to replace three people who just left. "PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST" You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos. "REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS" You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect. "GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS" Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it. ____________________ Say no to subliminal messages

Way to go my friend.

Yeah - he attached at JATO rocket to his car - almost went supersonic down a road and when he hit a corner, the car took off into a cliff - all they found was bits of bone embedded in the rock ____________________ Say no to subliminal messages

And the less said about that the better ____________________ Say no to subliminal messages

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman are all playing golf with their wives. The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and as she bends over to place her ball a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. "Good God! Why aren't you wearing any knickers?" her husband demanded. "Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford to buy any". The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency here's 50 pounds, go and buy yourself some dainties". Next the Irishman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she too is naked under it. "Bejasus woman. You've no knickers - why not"? She too explains, "You don't give me enough housekeeping money to be able to afford any". He reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency here's 20 pounds, go and buy yourself some!". Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt blows up to show that she is also wearing no undies. "Hoot, lassie! Why d'ye have no knickers?" She replies "I can't afford any on the money you give me"., "For the sake of decency here's a comb, tidy yourself up a bit. ____________________ Say no to subliminal messages

A man walks into a drug store with his 13-year old son. They walk by the condom display and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?" The man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex." "Oh," replied the boy. "Yes I've heard of that in health class at school." He picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?" The dad replies, "Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday." "Cool!" says the boy. He notices a 6-pack and asks, "Then who are these for? "Those are for college men," the dad answers. "Two for Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday." "WOW!" exclaimed the boy. "Then who uses these?" he asks, picking up a 12-pack. With a sigh, the dad replies, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for..." ____________________ Say no to subliminal messages

DARWIN AWARDS Yes, the one we've all been waiting for... the Darwin Award 2002. The candidates have finally been released For those not familiar with the Darwin Award, It's an annual honor given to the person who provided the Universal human gene pool the biggest service by getting KILLED in the most extraordinarily stupid way. As always, competition this year has been keen again. Some candidates appear to have trained their whole lives for this event! > >DARWIN AWARD CANDIDATES: 1. In September in Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned In two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys. 2. In October, a 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran," accidentally jogged off a 100- foot-high cliff on his daily run. 3. Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had Dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach goers said Daniel Jones, 21 dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach, on the outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital. 4. In February, Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as He fell face-first through the ceiling of bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor. 5. According to police in Dahlonega, GA, ROTC cadet, Nick Berea, 20,was stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet Jeffrey Hoffman, 23, who was trying to prove that a knife could not penetrate the flak vest Berea was wearing. 6. Sylvester Briddell, Jr, 26, was killed in February in Selbyville,Del,as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger. 7. In February, according to police in Windsor, Ontario, Daniel Kolta,27,and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus earning a tie in the game of chicken they were playing with their snowmobiles. DARWIN AWARD HONORABLE MENTIONS: 1. In Guthrie, Okla, in October, Jason Heck tried to kill a millipede with a shot from his 22-caliber rifle, but the bullet ricocheted off a rock near the hole and hit pal Antonio Martinez in the head, fracturing his skull. 2. In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Eskins, attempting to clean Out cobwebs in his basement, declined to use a broom in favor of a propane torch and caused a fire that burned the first and second floors of his house. 3. Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover Township, NJ, and His wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in their car. While driving around at 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but apparently failed to notice the window was closed. RUNNER UP: TACOMA, WA - Kerry Bingham, had been drinking with several friends When one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 am. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say," said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that night. There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located. AND THE WINNER THIS YEAR: GIESSEN, GERMANY - Overzealous zookeeper Reinhardt Lutz fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let fly-and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Lutz, 54, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr.Lutz to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him," said flabbergasted Giessen police detective Erik Dern. "With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. "It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that happen."! ____________________ Say no to subliminal messages

Ours is about 100' asl. Taking a Cessna to 14.5 would take that long i think. ____________________ Say no to subliminal messages

Wow !! We have a n/a 182 and we take about 30 mins to 10k. Maybe the extra time is all the extra drag by not having a door? ____________________ Say no to subliminal messages

I can remember those and I'm only 20. ____________________ Say no to subliminal messages

Fook Mi I didn't realise the FlyBoyz did that scene. ____________________ Say no to subliminal messages

Just be careful how you ask someone to do a rodeo with you and you'll be fine

They're watching you right now ____________________ Say no to subliminal messages

I use trillian as it does IRC, AIM, ICQ, MSN, and Yahoo all at the same time. ____________________ Say no to subliminal messages