Andy9o8

Stay really late at work. After you're sure everyone else is gone, go onto his computer and download a bunch of porn onto his hard drive. Then send an anonymous memo to corporate HQ complaining about him doing it and threatening to start a sexual harassment suit against the company. When they send the IT guy over to check his computer, the fun really starts!

I think this thread should be locked now.

burke. verb. To sue for copyright infringement.

Just remember that gravity works differently in the Northern Hemisphere, so you'll have to be re-trained once you get here. The toilets swirling the wrong way are also very disorienting - hell, even more than jet lag. Jumpers from Oz have the same problem. Other than that, welcome!

I've never met a Swedish bumb. If I do, I'll give him a quarter. Frogs are cold-blooded, so all are cool to the touch, not just the German ones.

I’m so glad you mentioned that “jinx” because I’ve always believed it, too: that bringing out reluctant (read: fearful and non-supportive) family members to watch you jump, so as to “reassure” them, is a virtual guarantee that some kinda shit’s gonna happen to bug their eyes out. “Oh, yeah, that went really well, didn’t it?” That’s why I never do it. I guess great minds think alike.

In the Incidents thread (WFFC fatality) that started this discussion, there seems to be a sort of clash of generational cultures – those that started in the 70's & 80's on S/L at 2500, hop & pops at 3500, etc., versus those trained more recently on AFF &/or tandem progression AFP where you get out between 10K & 14K and pulled anywhere between 4K & 6K. I learned doing S/L progression starting at 2500, so I, too, find it a little amusing when AFF trainees fear doing hop & pops from 3500, completely unmindful of the fact that they’re deploying at a slow, sub-terminal velocity that gives them plenty of time for EPs at that altitude. When I was a student, it was the higher altitudes that made my eyes grow wide, not the lower ones. Then again, I have friends who laugh at ME when I shudder when they tell of doing military S/L jumps from “maybe” 1,200 feet, because, holy shit, that’s so low...to me. (You know, in WWII S/L jumps into combat were often made from about 500 feet.) So, you see, everything is relative. Anyhow, back in the earlier days, most Cessna DZ’s used 7500 as max altitude for 30 second delays, so every second of freefall was precious, especially on RW loads. Made dumping above 3K feel like you were shortchanging your jump; and dumping around 2K was pretty common. That’s a little different from getting out at 13,000 all the time, where dumping an extra 1500 feet higher doesn’t make you feel like you’ve diminished your jump. So the newer generation of jumpers needs to understand that when an older jumper dumps around 2500, he’s not being unreasonably risky, he’s just doing what has been common and accepted as safe for him and his generation of jumpers for the past 25-30 years. By the same token, the older generation needs to understand that if a newer-generation jumper wants to break off at 5 and dump at 4 (and you can’t deny that leaves more time for EPs), it doesn’t mean he’s being a pussy who doesn’t have enough guts to be a “real” skydiver and should take up golf, he’s just doing what comes natural to his generation of jumpers. Can’t we all just get along?

Holy shit. Glad you're both still alive. Confession: I did something very similar when I was first learning RW. Really unnerved me because (aside from the obvious reason) the first fatal incident of anyone I knew personally was a freefall-into-canopy collision and I swore I'd never let that happen to me. Had about 80 jumps at the time. Oh, how we deceive ourselves. Guilty as charged here, too (but not any more!). When I was jumping back in the 70's & 80's, only about half the jumpers jumped ram-air canopies; many DZ's didn't really have "landing patterns", and S-turns and random spiral-downs were pretty common. When I returned to the sport, 21st Century version, after a many-years hiatus, and then did those things a couple times while blissfully unaware of the pattern, it was a whole new world for me, and I received a serious talking-to pretty damn quick. (I don't do that any more.)

You're displaying the right attitude, looking to learn from your mistakes. CK is one of my favorite DZ's to visit when I'm traveling up North, but between the trees and the encroaching development there aren't a lot of outs to land in. (And if you keep piloting over the runway like that, you're gonna intersect with the Steerman some day.) Any DZ w/o many outs forces low-timers to learn their canopy control skills quickly. Sashaying will definitely get you "talked to" at CK or any busy DZ (rightfully so). I know CK offered a canopy control course there recently, and they have cc seminars from time to time. Take them. They have superb instructors there; go to them and ask for some canopy coaching (and maybe some coaching on those other "issues", too). Not only will you improve yourself as an overall jumper, but you'll be sending the right message to the right people.

First off, I echo what Hooknswoop just said. Second: I’m not trying to be a stuffed shirt about this, but... I realize this was a skills camp, but, depending on your skill & prior RW experience, 38 jumps seems a bit on the low side to be doing a 6-way (including camera flyer), unless all the other people on the dive were already pretty experienced RW flyers. How many other low-timers were on that jump, too? The fewer jumps you have, the more potential for blind spots in your “sphere of awareness” (and that's in addition to the tracking issues Hook mentions). The more low-number jumpers are on the dive, the more this factor is compounded, thus increasing the chances of inadequate separation, near-misses and collisions.

Gaining weight, eh? Look at the positive side: when you upsize your gut, it downsizes your canopy. Oh, by the way, if you take up smoking again, I'm going to personally swim across the pond and kick your ass.

Um, I'm not sure if this is what you're asking either, but I will tell you as God as my witness that if you smear yourself with Mobil-1 (it's a high-quality synthetic motor oil) from head to toe, you will go horizontally faster in a track because you're aerodynamically more slippery. It's called the aureola effect.

That's not why jumping thru rain hurts; it hurts cuz the raindrops are pointy at the top

Those motorcycle helmets came in quite handy. On my 1st freefall (jump #6) I landed my C-9 on the runway, but I didn't realize I was going to hit tarmac because like a good student I followed my training and had my eyes fixed on the horizon. Backing up of course, so the back of my head cracked against the tarmac. The helmet did its job - didn't even ring my bell.

LOL! I didn't get a deployment thru my legs (well maybe more than one..) till I was on 10 second delays. That put me back on 5-second delays! God bless those cheapos, they opened no matter how unstable you were! The fun part was dumping in a flat spin, gave me line twists (remember when it was called a barber pole?) right thru the risers so tight it pinned my chin against my chest & I couldn't look up to check my canopy til it unwound.

Oh, yeah.... 4. Brits who use the word "wanker". Actually, it doesn't piss me off, it makes me LMAO!!! (Along with the rest of North America. OK, maybe not Mexico, which technically is in geographic North America. Of course, most non-Hispanics consider Mexico just part of Latin America. Why do they call it "Latin" if Latin is a dead language? Sanskrit is a dead language. So is Aramaic. The ancient Palestinians & Israelites used to speak Aramaic. Now they just toss bombs at each other. When the beer light is on, I like to get get bombed. I like to bomb out the door of the plane. Plane rhymes with Spain. Empuria is in Spain. So this is really about skydiving.) 5. Yanks with ADD who are easily self-distracted and lose track of what the thread is about.

I think we fall somewhere between "den of thieves" and "congregation of worshippers".

For the butterflies in the stomach feeling, I often eat little or nothing in the morning when I’m going to the DZ. It’s a carry-over from my student days: no food in there, nothing to barf! (I do the same thing when I go to amusement parks, in case I go on the rides.) One caveat to this, especially in warmer weather: dehydration can make you feel nauseous, so keep yourself well-hydrated at the DZ. I often drink just regular soda (for the sugar) or sport drink (for the carbs) in the morning to give myself some fuel if I don’t want to eat solid stuff, “just in case”. (I recommend you not drink cola or any other caffeinated drink; caffeine just adds to the jitters.) Re: your “chute”, ain’t no pots & pans in there! Learn to pack your rig yourself ASAP; it’s a great way to give you that in-control feeling. So is knowing how to do a good PLF.

I think you can probably find the answer to your problem right here: http://www.healthatoz.com/healthatoz/Atoz/ency/paranoia.jsp Best of luck.

1. Ranch dressing. 2. The expression "just my $0.02" 3. Brits who say "whilst" instedda "while"

As someone who worked in the Property/Casualty industry for 4 years....Yes, do this. I agree with this, too. One caveat, though, re: "replacement cost": read your policy carefully, or have someone knowledgable (an insurance professional or attorney) do so. Check whether you're insured for "replacement value" (which gets you more money) or "depreciated value" (which gets you less money). Can sometimes be a BIG difference.

Total number of jumps has a lot to do with it, but so does currency. If it's been at least a week or 2 since my last jump, I almost always feel a little bit of butterflies in the stomach on the drive over to the DZ, and a bit on the ride up on the 1st jump of the day. The rest of the day I usually don't notice it much. The more time since my last jump, the more the jitters return, and the longer they last. When I was a student, a couple times I'd arrive at the DZ, casually walk out of sight behind one of the hangars, discreetly barf a little, and then I'd be good to go the rest of the day. So you're in good company, and you'll be fine.

I don't like to jump with contacts in. I used to just wear my regular prescription sunglasses with a sport strap holding them. Now I wear the prescription basketball/raquetball type sport glasses, with the elastic band around them. I have one pair tinted, the other pair clear. Most any optometrist should have them. Very comfortable. I have heard The SportX are good, too. I tried on a friend's pair (didn't jump them), and they're quite comfortable, too.

Exactly right, like being part of a community. And remember, he's not just threatening official sanctions & legal action, he's actually making public accusations that particular people are attemtping to murder him by sabotaging his gear. What does that say about perception and judgment? Frankly I don't blame someone on the receiving end of that kind of accusation from being a little pissy in response.

We thought you were going to do it.