DATING in NYC: (or Chicago)
When I did my taxes this year I found out that I spent over $14,000 on Dates
last year. Most of that was spent on dinner and drinks in
Manhattan. Now don't get me wrong, I had some very good times, some
great sex, some good conversations. Hell, I even made a good friend
along the way, but mainly I came away from the date feeling extremely
disappointed and with a lighter wallet. Date by date it's not THAT much
money but it all adds up fast!
In the past I had a habit of always grabbing the check and paying
whether my date was hot or not. Whether we clicked or not. Basically I felt
ashamed to let her pay. I also kept and interesting statistic and even I was
surprised that only 5% of my dates even offered to pay - yes you see that
right- 5%! One girl in the entire year offered to pay for the entire check.
A very nice gesture. But of course I paid and doubt she was sincere. In
light of ! all this evidence I knew I had to change some things. So, this
year.....
I DECIDED TO NEVER PAY FOR A FIRST DATE AGAIN. How did I do this? First I
adopted the mindset that a girl should naturally assume she's paying for
herself. Now this wasn't easy at first but I quickly got used to it. Then
when going into the bar/restaurant/lounge etc. I would hand the server a
credit card and ask them to open tabs for us. HEY!-Did you catch that? I
said 'TABS.' Yah, don't worry at least 95% of the girls I meet miss that one
too. Just to make sure I usually confirm that the server has understood me
too. I do this when the date rudely answers her cell phone or is in the
bathroom (probably using her cell phone). Guys,
you know the Mastercard "priceless" series of commercials? Well, let me tell
you, you won't understand the meaning of 'priceless' until you see one of
these girls handed their own check for 3 20$ martinis and overpriced food
(that they would probably never buy on their own! ). It's also very relaxing
to encourage the girl to eat and drink up because even at 20$ a pop for
exotic gooey blender drinks I could care less how many of them she has -
cause SHE'S PAYING.
Oddly enough when she realizes that there are individual bills there will a
few prolonged moments of discomfort. But don't panic. Something that took me
by surprise is how many girls suddenly have to 'go to an ATM'. I can't quite
figure out if it's because their cc's are maxed out on shoe purchases or
that they are trying to guilt me into paying. Well, probably a combination
of both, but I'm remorseless after doing this for nearly 3 months now. Which
brings me to my date last night......
omg.....
Of course the classy nice Irish pub I suggested wasn't good enough for her.
Nah...she needed to go somewhere more trendy. Ok, no problem. W? Hudson?
Meatpacking Dist? SoHo? Where we going? So she picks a midtown hotel bar.
Nice place. Little stuffy. Drinks, not bad and Macadamia nuts on the lounge
tables (complimentary) nice! Of course I went thru my usual routine, handed
the server a credit card asked her if we can start tabs she said, 'sure' and
took the card. 1 drink in her cell phone rang. She apologized, (she had to
get it). So I moved into confirmation mode. Our waitress even missed the
'tabs' part but she adjusted on the fly and told me no problem. Boy, let me
tell you - the girl i was with could really throw down the drinks. She was
drinking scotch that was older than the hotel we were in. Of course I
encouraged her the whole way. She
was like, wow they have Johny Walker BLUE label! I was like, 'you ever try
it?' She! 's like....'Nooooooo!!!' I'm like, 'go on....just get some'. She's
like 'are you sure'. I'm like, 'look, if you want it, just get it!' So she
ordered one, then another, and finally one more..... wow she was probably
more than a little drunk. I stuck to my Stoli and Soda, splash of Cran.
When the BILL(S) came she sobered up fast. I caught a glimpse of hers, 5
drinks plus a little finger food $319.00 I think it was. She looked shocked
and sick to her stomache when she saw 2 bills. Guess she thought I was
buying. Think again. (The old me woulda soaked up the bill but steared her
away from the Blue) I had 4 drinks, no food and a great buzz. Pricey Stoli,
but overall still a good value (i ate a ton of free macadamias and almonds)
$36.00. Damn I thought, that BLUE label will get you every time. Of course
she did more than the traditional fumble through her purse. Her face was
beat red and she was speechless. She left the bill on the table and excused
herself for the restroom! . I had already paid and was sucking on some ice.
The waitress was looking concerned. I told her, 'look'. Sure enough my date
was heading out toward the front door. I slowly grabbed my coat as the
waitress ran after her. Then security or a bellman grabbed her at the door
and a small shouting match ensued. Can you imagine, she was trying to leave
- without paying!
Well, I didn't stick around to see what happened. All I saw was the poor
waitress standing just inside the front door with a small coctail tray. She
did look concerned but not paniced. A doorman and bell hop had the girl by
the arm, outside and was semi-forcing her back inside, she wasn't getting
away from this bill. I paid my bill. I had my receipt. But I couldn't help
wondering why she ordered 3 Johnny Walker Blues, doesn't she know that shit
is expensive? Then I wondered if they had to arrest her while I had another
drink at my local Irish pub.
I haven't heard from her again. Too bad, she was pretty cute! too :(
Edward Shuman
Chicago, Il
