JDBoston

I once had 2 chinchillas. Then four months later I had 3. Then soon I had 2 again. Then we shipped them out to my roommate's parents' house and they've been there ever since. It's amazing to me that such a stupid animal lives for 15-20 years. They sure were silky though. Joe

"Naughty, naughty Zoot! You must spank her. And when you're done spanking her, then you must spank me. And me! And me! And next.... the oral sex! The oral sex! THE ORAL SEX!" "Lancelot, quick! We've come to rescue you!" "I'm all right, really, I am."

What's voting?

Scottbre, has someone been replacing your meds with tic-tacs? Please go to the pharmacy ASAP for a refill. Thanks! Joe

"Son, fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life."

Have you guys ever had a question about fall rates? Some people get totally fixated on that one piece of their first high school physics class about a rock and a feather falling the same rate (in a VACUUM). They can't understand how mass (i.e. weight belts) affects fall rate. I usually don't bother with the physics explanation. I just tell them that it does. Curious if that was a common question. Plus, this weekend I had two separate people ask me how far up you go when the parachute opens. Ahhhhhh....... Joe

How about being a sperm donor? I could have put myself through college doing that.... if only I wasn't 5' 7" . Goddamn height restrictions. Joe

You can also be a notary public and charge $50 a pop to watch people sign mortgages and stuff. Joe

1) Bartending 2) Wedding photography Why? You will work on nights and weekends, not school days, and both jobs provide you with 1) good money for the time, and 2) a steady supply of boobies (waitresses and bridesmaids). Joe

C'mon, don't try and tell me you don't find that story oddly arousing..... Hmmm, maybe it's just me. Never mind.

I can see the new jokes now: "Why did the chicken hook it in?" "Why did the chicken swoop the spectators?" "Why did the chicken do CRW?" I'm all out of punchlines today. Someone else give it a shot.

Congrats, that's awesome!

Good rant

Well, humans have certainly done that, but that happens in nature all the time. A lake's level will drop due to a drought, a land bridge will emerge to an island, and a new predator will eat all the birds on the island. That's how native americans got to North America - there was a land bridge across the Bering Strait at one point. --- true, but I don't think it happens on a very large, quick, disruptive scale unless humans play a role Gotta disagree with that. A city of 100,000, with the associated farms, natural gas power plant, modern cars etc. is a _lot_ more harmonious than a spread out village of 10,000 that hunts for food, chops down trees for heat, and poops next to the road. One can exist that way for a long time without much change to the landscape - the other will eventually cut down all the trees and kill all the game in the area, with the only regulation being deaths from starvation and feces-borne disease. -----Maybe or maybe not, but cities and villages alike are BOTH less harmonious w/nature than bands of hunter-gatherers. I put sedentary farming in the same category as freeways and housing developments - just a question of scale. It requires no adaptation for a hawk to coexist with a solar power system, or for a frog to coexist with a nuclear power plant. The only adaptation needed is for the loss of those few acres of habitat, and as long as we're wise as to how much we leave to nature, we can make that adaptation an easy one. -----Agreed. The main drain on the environment in my opinion is transportation because it 1) requires a lot of infrastructure, 2) requires a lot of fuel, 3) lets population densities change very rapidly, and 4) can carry little stowaways like zebra mussels. Harmony is impacting the environment as little as possible, while living how you choose. We know how to do that now. We can design houses that take no outside energy and produce no sewage or wastewater. We can generate power without producing much pollution. We can farm without massive amounts of pesticides, herbicides and fertilizers. It's more expensive to do that, so we do have to be willing to pay for it. I think it's worth it. -----No disagreement here. But I may be less optimistic than you about whether it's possible to get people to do that. Joe

I think when other species have destroyed the local environment, it's usually been because man put them somewhere they didn't belong (i.e. where they weren't part of the native ecosystem). Kudzu, rabbits, zebra mussels, whatever. Not that humans aren't capable of being part of a stable ecosystem. They clearly are, in a lot of remote areas where tribes have been living in the same general area for thousands of years. But in my opinion, when people stopped being hunter-gatherers, and created cities, writing, and the wheel, they made it pretty certain that harmony with nature would become a distant memory. The changes in humans' lifestyles as a result of technology will ALWAYS be too fast for the natural environment around them to keep up through evolution. The best we can do is use our technology to keep MacGyver-ing along, fixing little environmental problems when we can, and hope in the meantime that we don't manage to fuck up in any really major way. Which in my opinion is not really "harmony." Corrections welcome - Joe

The truth about Smurfs: http://lalaland.cl.msu.edu/~vanhoose/humor/0173.html The damn link doesn't want to work - so you have to copy and paste. Anyway, AggieDave is right. Venture forward at your own risk..... though anyone who's had an email account for a while probably got this 6 years ago anyway. You can thank me later. Joe

I think intelligence and tactics are at least as important to wild animals as claws and fangs. Most predators in the wild use stealth, surprise, and hunting strategies to compensate for physical disadvantages vs. large prey. One wolf by itself isn't likely to kill a moose - that's why they band together and then take turns darting in and biting it until they finally weaken it. Even tigers like to attack from behind. Species have evolved to make their fights with other animals as unfair as possible. So in my opinion the ones that are the best at this (humans) are at the top of the evolutionary chain, unless you want to include microorganisms too, which have been kicking our ass since the beginning of time. Joe

I actually really like the quote from the Matrix where the agent guy says that humans and viruses are the only organisms that destroy their host/environment instead of living in harmony with it. Hmmm...... Joe

I should have been more specific. I think it's vile that they were munching on his corpse. I'm assuming they didn't kill him themselves (?), so he may not have been so fresh after 4 days... I actually agree with you 100% about animals having the right to eat us. However, I'd prefer they kill us and then eat us immediately, as opposed to gnawing on our decomposing bodies while we lie dead on the rug from a heart attack or something. Just seems a little "cleaner" the first way. I admit that there's no philosophical justification for it. Is it dinnertime yet? Joe

Take him to the DZ for an afternoon prior to his tandem, to watch tandems land. When he sees some of the goofballs that go out there to do a tandem, he'll have no doubts about his ability to do it, regardless of the steps involved. Also, I imagine some of their post-jump enthusiasm will rub off on him...... Joe

That's fucking vile. You know Komodo Dragons actually kill people and then eat them? They'll knock you down with their tail and then chomp on you. Mmmm hmmm. Joe

Personally, I think all the Enron execs on the finance committee should do a few years in gen-pop in some medium-security prison. Then we can read a few stories about people going from C-level executive to someone's girlfriend, because they stretched every aspect of the law to line their pockets with money they don't even need, at the expense of loyal employees with mortgages and children. Yeah, I'd like that. Joe

I second that. Jersey City is almost as bad as Newark, but is smaller and therefore easier to avoid. What I used to really like is the smell on the Turnpike just south of Newark for about 5 miles (around exit 13?). My guess is that it's a tire plant or something, but when I had passengers, I'd tell them that's just how New Jersey smells. God, what a shithole. Anyway, if you like to complain about asinine liquor laws, come visit me in Cambridge/Boston sometime. There are too many to list. Joe

Friendly (flat) landing areas outside the DZ proper, in case you can't make it all the way back. Beautiful scenery though! Joe

But not too many outs.... : )