Michele

YYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Bluefingers!!!! Took a lot, but you did it, you made it! I'd say something that had chuff in it, but I am not sure what it means.... Good deal!! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

I was once asked how would I change my behavior if I knew I were to die on a certain date. I've thought about that over the years, but only recently have I come to these conclusions. I would love more, openly and unabashedly. I would dance to whatever music is playing, just because I felt like moving. I would sympathize more with people, understand them better, listen harder, and be more compassionate. I would learn more, about things I didn't know before, but which matters...like how flowers get their colors, or if bees had souls. I would seek - friends, knowledge, experience. I would search for hearts hidden beneath pain, and ask them to come play. I would play with everyone more, and let them win at everything. I'd tell those I love that they are loved. I would hug perfect strangers, knowing that hugs are as valuable as any currency available. And I would find a way to love those I don't already love. I'd smile. At strangers, at friends, at the grocery clerk, I would grin. And I would see them smile back, and be complete. A circle smile, I suppose... I would reach out to people I've never met, and tell them they are valuable. Communicate their worth so they will always know someone, at some time, found value in them, and held them high. I would notice. I would see the dawns and the sunsets, I would hear the birdsong and the wind. I would listen to the silence of the stars, shining in the night. And I would feel - touch rose petals, grass, people's hair, cloth. I would immerse myself in my senses. I would have confidence. Confidence to shine, bright or not so bright. Confidence to try anything, and not be frightened of neither success nor failure.... I would not fear. For fear is the greatest inhibitor, fear the greatest challenge, fear the greatest disabler of accomplishments. If I loved as much as I could, there would be no room for fear. And so, in light of recent events, in looking back and recognizing that the unknown is unknowable, and realizing that we will die, at a date sometime in the future, I look back and see what Holly, in her passing, has reminded me of....that we have only today. Did I spend it wisely? Did I create value for others today? Did I find joy, taste joy, hear joy? In truth, skydiving has taught me the value of life - each life, easily lost, holds immeasurable value. Each life has worth, love, truth, beauty. Each moment I can choose to be most fully alive, most complete, most honest, most now in the present with nothing past or future. And nowhere else that I've found has ever brought me closer to myself and others as the sky has. And with the knowledge that there death lurks, close, my life has a flavor to it which is indescribable and leaves me inarticulate. And if death touches me today, if it creeps up on me, did I do my best, live my hardest, love as much as I could? When someone asks me if I am a deathseeker, I answer with "no, I am a life seeker...I choose to participate in my life, and not allow it to happen around me." And that choice also brings an understanding of death in a manner which few understand and can accept. We shall all die; while I am alive, I want to be truly alive. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Thanks, Kelly. That was needed. Badly. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Hi, all... While I agree that a tree would be great, and a plaque is a spectacular idea, the reasoning behind the flowers is to let the family know - in a tangible, real way - that they are not alone, that we are with them, and that we love them and support them on a day when they will need as much support as we can send. I was thinking that a bright yellow spray, something lively and as bright as her smile, would be great to show them we care on Saturday...and maybe we can plant a tree at Eloy in her memory at another point in the very near future? It's all good, whatever is thought of as best. I really just want the family to know that we are there for them. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

TB, don't stop. Talk it out and through. It's a hard idea to articulate, so worry not...your post is providing thoughts for others to think about, and is allowing them a place to bring this emotional muddle we are facing. As to you not stopping, perhaps you're not, but there may be some who are second thinking it. That's fine and normal. It hurts really badly, and can really change perspectives on things. Just a thought or two...and I want to encourage you and all others who need a place to toss ideas around to do so - for it teaches us all, and for that, I appreciate the willingness to post and talk. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Any left over funds I am sure the family could use to help defray any expenses they unexpectedly occur. I think it's wonderful, this outpouring of $$ and heartfelt responses. We really are a family, and I am thrilled to be part of it. Well done, Kevin, and well done to all. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

I received this in a pm from Holly's Uncle Greg. I asked him if I could repost it, and he agreed. Much love to you and your family at this time, Greg...she was dearly and truly loved. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

I'll help with the text copy...lemme know...and the check's in the mail, Kevin. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

You know, this was one of the first things I thought about... Ela, standing there, waiting for Holly. Arms outstretched, grinning as Ela could grin, and Holly, running, grinning her most famous facesplitting grin..."told ya, girl, I'd see you with love and light. Now, which angel needs flying lessons???"... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

It's been a rough week for me, as well, and yes, sleep is the first thing which is affected. When I get this bad for several days in a row, I cave in and take something to help. I am no use to anyone when I've not slept, and my job requires me to be up and around on a regular basis...Tylenol pm generally works, and when it doesn't, I have some prescription stuff I use sparingly. Another thing I've found helpful in the past (although not this week...) is writing it out. Getting whatever's going on outside of myself and onto paper (or a computer screen) can usually help make some sense - if not of the actual thing, it can make sense about how I feel about it. And once it's out, I can generally back down and let the thoughts go, and let sleep come. It's hard on lots of people right now, and my heart goes out to all... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Jack, how wonderful...and good to hear tonight. Chris is home, and Freddie is working towards full recovery. Excellent! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Thanks, Kris. I can't remember who did that song...but it is perfect. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

What I found interesting is that the original identical post was made by someone using the name Mikello, rather than Mikelli. The misspellings are identical, as well as is the content and grammatical errors. Which is not a bother, exactly, but if you're changing your user name, why c/p the original post? Why not write one from your own hands if you're someone different? (And wasn't the lack of response to the original post somewhat indicative that it's...well, not important to most of the folks here?) Further checking shows that the profiles, while different, contain similar errors, as well. For example, a quick international postal check shows the "zip code" 98765 (Mikelli's) does not exist in either Italy or the US. The postal code 7897 does not exist in Italy, and is incomplete for any area in the US. Additionally, the first cited code is simply counting backwards, whereas the second one is the topline with a repeat of the number pads on a traditional keyboard. That is just one example of the problems I've seen in a brief looking into the profiles. I have no idea who Eugene Matos is, nor anything about the Dominican boogie per se...I have read the arguments pro and con, and have thought that should I ever be competent enough to attend a boogie outside the US (heck, outside southern CA!), it would not be this one I would attend. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Blues, Holly. Rest in peace. Your smile will shine in every ray of sun. Blue skies and Godspeed. Sincere and deepest sympathies to her family, and all who witnessed it. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Mike, with all due respect, you posted this identical message a few days ago. First post Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Most excellent! Rawk on, Ashley!!!!!!!!!!!! Knew you could, and you just proved all of us right! (And good job, Mom, for all your support!!!) Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Jess, I wanna do that.....how do I get a job like that one? Huh? No, I mean it. Really....I just don't wanna be Oprah. But getting paid to read? How fun would that be? Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Tell him that for me, too. Except for the eating and sleeping part. That's for a whole different reason right now. Hey, I know. You go give him a hug for me, 'kay? Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Know what? That's the best thing!!!! You know you did well, and you are proud of yourself. Good deal! Kris, get that girl a margarita! And the 10 years' experience may just be arbitrary...you got an interview anyway, right? You just tell them you're a protege......I'll keep sending vibes for you! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Tiny lil ol you stands head and shoulders above the biggest person there. You know your stuff; you know what to do. Just go do it, and make yourself proud. We are already waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay proud of you, Jess. YOU RAWK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!VIBES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Much love and lots o' hugs- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Hey, Ashely! You will be so fantastic they won't know what to do! I know you're nervous...but remember that you've been doing this already for years, girlio, and you have far more practice and skill and talent and class then the others. You set the bar, Ashley, and make them come up to your level...you just go and show them how it's really done! Much love and I will be thinking of you during tryouts. Hugs and ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Sending vibes and best wishes for a full and speedy recovery, Rod! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

She has been returned to the One who lent her to me for 17 years. My heart is empty, and the tears are falling.

Thanks, everyone. It's hard in my world today. I keep bouncing from certain of the decision, and waivering. Guilt about it when I see her stretching and using the scratching post if only briefly, and then understanding that she is not happy, is hurting, blind in one eye, and not eating well. She growls at me when I gently hug her, but then comes over and touches her nose to my hand, as if apologizing. She has nothing to apologize for. I know what I have to do. It's not easy. And I will manage to get through it somehow. I don't know how, though. Thanks for the hugs and thoughts and vibes and prayers, both here and in pm's. It makes a difference...it really does. Michele (edited to add photo of my girl)

Updating... Everyone who sent me names, I have submitted them. I was not informed who would receive them - I think that comes later this week - but will let you all know who Burbank will be sending care packages to (if they tell me). Thanks all for sending me the names. I do appreciate it, and our troops will appreciate it even more! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~