Michele

Well, you will be happy to know that I have managed to get a grip on my door fear. While I haven't sat on the floor (this fat bottomed girl might not have it easy getting up....) I have, through the diligent practice of HnP's, managed to lessen the fall-out fear factor...and will agree that it's a good place to sit. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Jack, you rawk. Just thought I'd say that! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Um, yes, well, you're right about that. Thanks for the gentle reminder, Jack. And when you and Lynn jump with me, I want whatever feedback I can get from you both...however it comes. I have a bad tendency to take something and twist it around, and see how bad it was even if it wasn't; I think that may be showing up here. I've only had one mid-air clunk, and that was (I found out later) done on purpose to acclimate me to bodies in the air with me. So I suppose I'm pretty safe, and I do try to stay very aware of things, even when they're happening at 130 mph... Jess, OARS is right, girl! I think 2way drill dives would be perfect for me. Ed, thanks. I did have fun, even though I got lost in the sky. You did really well...you could'a grabbed Glen's foot from what I could see. I wanna do that!!! Thanks, all. I do appreciate it. I think that frequency of jumps shall soon increase, and maybe then the performance anxiety will subside. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Yes, but in the nicest possible way.

I was about a bazillion feet over them, and to the side. I couldn't tell if I was moving sideways or if they were (which leads to airspace creep...which could be dangerous). I did manage a speed of 117, which is the slowest I have ever gone...Hey! I could jump with you now!!! LOL! I floated on Vectorboy and Islandcool! Did I learn? Yes, except I still haven't figured out how to get back DOWN to them in that situation. Nor how to prevent it from happening again in the future. And that's what concerns me. I mean, will they (or anyone) want to play tag with me again, if I can't stay in the game??? (And yes, "bazillion" is an estimate. There is some confusion as to how far I was above them. Glen thinks about 150 feet, I think far more than that...it just concerns me because of airspace creep...) Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Flaxori, and all others who are in the region, you're in my thoughts. I had hoped that the new PM would be able to control and curtail the bombings, but it seems like it isn't happening that way - at least right now. It must be hard for you guys right now...sending thoughts and vibes to you that this wave is not a tsunami, and that it ebbs very quickly. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Love to all of you!!! (And those who sent me pm's, you too!) To know that a world record holder, to folks in the industry, to a 100 jump wonder () to a newbie like myself all have the same considerations is reassuring. Very reassuring. I think that once I can get into the air more often, I will be able to relax more, put less pressure on myself, and manage to have more fun. I know this is fun, and I always smile and have a ball in the sky...it's just when I get down onto the ground that I get all pissy with myself...it's like I land, and shove my head right on up where the sun don't shine, and whack myself around. And only focus on what went wrong, not what went right. For instance, the first time doing a tracking dive, I managed to keep up with the other guys, and the exit went wonderfully, and the landing was superb...but I focus on why I couldn't get down to the guys (I ended up paralleling them from above). That's the only thing which was wrong, but that's what I focus on... It's good to know that there are others who do this kind of thing, too...and that I'm not alone in it. hugs, ladies... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

I had an interesting time this last friday, when I went to go jump. Good friends, perfect weather, utter angst. Not quite airweenie status, thank god, but still, jittery and nervous. I was jumping my new suit that had booties, and it was really bothering me because I didn't know what to expect. Two jumps later, no injuries or funnels or crashes at all... but vaguely dissatisfied with myself. Actually, not vaguely at all. Quite dissatisfied. And also quite frustrated. A dear friend pointed out that I am holding myself to a standard that, in reality, is impossible at 60 jumps...which is, of course, perfection. I actually expect me to somehow take a brand new experience (booties) and not have an adjustment period at all...or be able to get into a tracking dive and not experience complications there. Both scenarios are unrealistic, I know. And yet, that's the rational part. The other part is this personal expectation of perfection....and the huge fear that people jumping with me will get bored or frustrated with me, and not want to come with me again. So I guess my question is do you put pressure on yourself like that? Or is it something that will go away in time? Or what? I am not alone, I don't think, but I'd be interested in hearing your views. For those who do have this performance anxiety, how do you deal with it? For those who see it in others, how do you suggest they deal with it? Sigh...thanks in advance. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Ditto.... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Hey, Bill and Amy - good on you both! Paying it forward is a most excellent thing to do. From someone who's experienced the same generosity, I thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!! And Viking, how excellent for you to be able to get into the air. YAYAYAYAY! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

0:2:2 First time in a bootie suit...it was flying me, and I was not flying it...and the first group tracking jump... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

(Yes, I know about the beer thing...) Kay, so yesterday was all about the suit flying me around the sky. Bev suit, hot bod. Now I float. Did a two way with someone who I sank on when in jeans, and he was below me. Sigh... But the real issue is me and these booties....something is going on, and I'm not sure what. I am rocking. Kinda like chipping, but more gently. Nothing side to side, but definitely back and forth. And yes, I was tense. i had heard about how fast booties make everything, and was really scared...of the freekin booties!...so was tight and stiff and rocking through the sky. Any hints? Stories, consolation? Or explanation? Was it because I was stiff? And don't even ask if I got the booties off once I was under canopy... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Thanks, Jan and Casch GB, here's the deal. And believe me I need to remember this too... This shit ain't easy. Relax. Breathe. Smile. Pull. And know that the adventure is just beginning. I am only a few jumps into this wild ride called skydiving, and have had some interesting things happen - both in my mind and in reality. Truth is, it can be hard for some people. It's o.k. if it's easy for some, and hard for others. It's everyone's own experiene. So it was overwhelming, sweetheart. No big deal...perservere, and you will succeed. It's about faith, sometimes, faith in yourself, and in the rest of it, too. Trust and faith. So smile, relax, breathe, have fun, and go again next week. You'll be fine.

Hi, GB... OK, so you had overload. It wasn't too bad, you managed to fly yourself home, right? So all good...and they passed you to level 2, and they wouldn't have done that if you'd been too far gone. Me? FJC, fine. Got a little fixated about landing on a snake, but fine. PLFs, PRCT, all perfect. Harness work, all perfect. However...in the air, I was a complete mess. I'm flying around the sky, grinning like a fool. my JM is frantically shaking my jumpsuit, but I ignore it. He wants my attention, so I finally realize it's not the wind, and look at him. Legs in signal. I nod, and don't do a thing. Then I look at my rJM, and he gives me the arms in signal. Again, nod, and nothing. I am grinning and waving at the camera, and my camera guy gives me the three finger signal for RCPTs...which I stare at. Uh, hmmmm....peace plus one? Fuck you three times? What? Oh yeah....and reach with my left arm. rJm is pushing, and JM is pulling, and I finally switch arms and do it with my right hand. On the 4th PRCT, it becomes a pull....and out the pc comes, and whoomp, there the chute is. And then I'm too frightened to look around for the airport, and sail off into the sun. I look between my feet, and start trying to think of outs because all I see are houses and roads... Forever later, I finally look over my shoulder and see the plane. Genius thought - hey, that's where I am supposed to go....so I turn the canopy like 3 degrees at a time, and get headed back. Now, I am about 400 feet, crossing a runway (I saw the plane land, but didn't realize there was another one flying around...), and just let it fly straight. Fly over family, holler hi, and WHHHOOOOOHOOOOO JM on the radio, telling me to pay attention, gets me in the right direction and flared. I fell over. I still passed. You did far better than me. Hang in there, have fun!!! and give it another go. Like was said earlier, your brain will catch up... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Who discovered that the artichoke was actually edible? Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Hey, Zonie... Well, if you know that you don't know what you want, perhaps you might want to figure that out first? Like where to live...La Jolla, or Arizona, Timbuktu...or is skydiving for you, or would perhaps, uh, I dunno, surfing be better? How about getting through AFF at a reliable DZ, such as Eloy, and then making a decision if you are going to stay with the sport, and then thinking about what kind of gear you want? Besides, are you going to be jumping your own gear during AFF? Look, if you're not gonna stay with the sport, you will be investing a lot of money that you don't need to. Say you're sstylin with a Mirage...but decide you like a Javelin better after you decide what you want....or perhaps you've decided on a Sabre2, but then think you should be in a Spectre...or what if you want to freefly instead of do comptetive RW? Just some things to think about... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

I add all the vibes I can muster to those above. And I too shall include him in my prayers. Ciels, and hugs, Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Squeak, you're a sweetheart. Thanks. Still, couldn't you get a picture of me where I look like some supermodel or something? I mean, this *is* the internet! LOL!!!!! I shall consider using it as my avatar. Still not sure y'all would want that face staring at you from my posts, though..... ...... ..... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

I'm learning, I'm learning... Btw, Hooknswoop, that information you pm'd me was most excellent for this here newbie. I would suggest that anyone who's just getting gear and not terribly sure what to do pm Hook and ask nicely if he'd be willing to send it to you, as well. Quite informative! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

And a good morning hug: ~~~~~HUG!!!!!~~~~~~ Know that it will be alright in the end. Sometimes our paths get rough; in time, though, you will make it to the smooth part of the path, but only if you keep getting one foot in front of the other. you are strong, sweetheart, and you just keep walking on! We are all here for you. Many hugs. Like a hug bank...when you need one, you have a whole bunch waiting. And unlike a bank, these grow exponentially - for each one you use, there are two waiting in it's place. HUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUG! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

...and you just made my day. Thank you!!!... I am very not fond of being in the front of the camera... And Ed, I can't remember what the 2 fingered salute thing is. I call it the "fucking awesome" sign, but I don't think that's the right name for it. Casie, it is fun to get names to faces...I will be bringing my camera out today - highs to 80 degrees, and so it should be a gorgeous day to play at Elsinore and get more photos! Ciels, Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Nope. They like you. You rawk, how could they not??? They wouldn't go to all that trouble just to jerk you around. They'd've not given you as much responsibility if they were just being nice. Vibes to you, even though I don't think you need them...but vibes anyway! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Oh, I shall. I owe him for his birthday, anyway. Just another opportunity to smack his bottom! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

And here's a great big hug to you... (pretend its a really big font:) HUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUG! And yes, you are an awesome mother, an amazing woman, and a great person. You, darlin', simply RAWK!!! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Hi, Sinker... O.K., well....lessee. In "the girls" I'm the one behind everyone Green turtleneck), Cora is the redhead, and Shannon is the cutie-pie in front. In "the tongues", Cora is on the left, JP/Diablopilot in the middle, and I'm on the right. In "Geeking", Vectorboy is fishface man, and Islandcool is the two fingered salute-thing. In "The gang"... Front row Diablopilot/JP Funari, Ladyskydiver/Cora, me, Vectorboy/Glen Back row Islandcool/Ed, Dave, Shannon (Dave and Shannon do not post here yet...) Does that help? Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~