Michele

...Michele representing proudly as well... My Spectre rocks. It rolls. It's smooth as butter and sweet as candy. And it's mine. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

HI ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wish I was there..... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

you didn't add to my stress levels, worry not my friend. As to Horlicks, I dunno what that is, so haven't a clue if I can get it over here. But tonight, I am sipping Godiva Cappucino liquer, so that's all good. Not too bad for a first in a glossy...(yes, Gawain, I owe beer...). Thanks for the love and hugs, guys. One more night of sound sleep and I should be mostly back to normal. I just am not sure what 'normal' is... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

No...thank god... I got pulled over because I was weaving, so he thought I might be DUI. One look at my face, and listening to my explanation, he cautioned me to drive safely, and let me go. And no, it wasn't because I was showing cleavage - I had on an old, absolutely filthy tee shirt, nothing showing but dirt. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Dayum, LeRoy. Great photos, but still....dddddaaaaayyyyuuuummmm.... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Morning, Chris... yes, sometimes the correct decision is the hardest one, the one we need to reach way down inside, and just make. But when we make it from the correct place - our heart - then generally it works out. You are surrounded by friends, Chris. Let those friends support you, and help you through. And remember, the sun rises. And there are better times coming. Say, the end of August... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

I got to bed about 10:15, and slept until 7:45 this morning...and know what, Sparky? I can't remember a dream...which means they were good! Thanks for the reminder. It is appreciated - even if hard to do. And Jan, the lavender is sooooo wonderful...I love it so much. Thanks again. Max, we owe ourselves a conversation... Thanks, all....now, just to get through today at work, and then I can repeat the sleep...which should put me back onto my feet. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

I don't have too many left tonight, but you're welcome to all the vibes I can muster... ~~~~~~~~~~VIBES~~~~~~~~~~ Thanks for keeping us all updated, you two. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

I was an adorable baby. I believe I "peaked" at about 3 years old. It's been downhill from there. So at this point, I just don't really care anymore. As Wendy said, "I yam what I yam..."... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Man...what did I forget to do now?? Geez........................ I'm so tired I don't even want the rest of this yummy chocolate shake...too tired to suck at the straw! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

So this week has been a bit of a challenge for me, and as a result, I am about as tired as I've been in ages...mentally, physically, and emotionally. So, because I am so tired, these odd thoughts pop into my head on the drive home. "Oh, look...that flag could be a windsock. I could land in this. Well, except I'm on the freeway." "Oh, I haven't eaten all day. I'll stop" (and then forget to stop.). "Oh, look, a gas station. I should prolly get some"...(and then forget...thank God for AAA) "Oh, look, a cloud." as I'm driving 80mph down the road...yes, I got on the brakes in time. Barely. "Oh look, the CHP is behind me, with a red light. What does that mean?" (thank god I'm a girl, and look as whipped as I feel). I'm very tired. It's good to be home. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Dunno about the extraordinaire part, but thanks... I've been a bit busy this week, but I did finally read it. How weird to see my name there, see the words I wrote there. How weird...but how neat. I am still grinning.... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

In my thoughts today, as well....and of course, prayers sent his way. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Josh - thanks. I appreciate what you are doing. And come home soon! (I'd say guys in uniform are a turn on, but that's been done...)... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Adding my vibes to the rest... ~~~~~~~~~~~~VIBES~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Let me know if there's something I can do... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Joy is ~ Making a friend laugh when she's been crying... ~ Having a small child wrap their arms around your neck... ~ Helping tell a story that touches many people... There's many more, but joy, right this absolute minute, is sleep... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Happy birthday, Travis! And many more!!!! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

A man can occasionally write a good book, as well. Just a thought. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Mujie, love....I will be on my way very soon. And then you can get all angry all over me. I won't even get angry back. I will just love you harder. Deal? It's very normal, this rage. This immense and overwhelming anger. This intense fury which boils and rampages...absolutely normal. It doesn't make anything easier knowing it's normal though. But it's not easy at all yet. BTW, why do you think you're "banned" from driving??? LOL!!! Hugs, darlin. Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Great news! I'll be sending prayers and vibes for him! Thanks so much for keeping us updated...and I'll send a vibe for you, too... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Boudy, you know what? I know there are tons of lurkers who are keeping her in their prayers and thoughts...and that is the amazing part of this community. Thanks for "coming out" and posting...it's things like this that help more than people realize. Thanks for all the vibes sent her way. Don't stop, please keep them coming, and know they are being felt. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

I've heard smiling in a mirror is good. In the alternative, you might try some ice cream and chocolate donuts. But why can't you go for a nooner with your honey and have a drink while you're at it? Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Midori and 7-Up. Sweet and tangy....and rather green. But really yummy. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~

Sitting in my car, the clouds gather above me, a warm wind blowing. I have the radio on, but I am just not ready to exit the car after the 94 mile drive. Not just yet. I turn up the music, and feel it vibrate, and sing along. Music gives me energy, you see, and I am in sore need of some. The song over, I see Mujie and Lisa Parks pull up across the way, and I wave through my sunroof at them. She's here. I can't imagine how hard this will be for her...how difficult and how almost otherworldly. And I will be there for her, however I can. I gather my faith and my hope, and step out of the car. Mujie crosses the grass at Elsinore, walking towards me. I can see she's fighting tears - and why not, indeed, why not. I wrap my arms around her, hold her tight, and murmur love into her ear. She trembles, and I kiss her hair, fighting tears myself. I hug her again, and tell her who sent that one. And another, and another, and a fourth, fifth, sixth...the hugs that have been sent I deliver...until she starts to smile. We walk over to the picnic tables, and sit down. It's very quiet, 11 am on an overcast monday. And it's peaceful. She looks around, memories flashing across her face. She hugs herself, and I kick her in the shin. "hey, didja bring gear?" I ask. She nods. "Want me to go manifest? Are you ready for this today? We can wait if you want, girl"...I want her to have the option to not go up, if she isn't ready. I want her to have the room to say no if she needs to...and I want her to make the choice for herself. She looks up at me, tears brimming and spilling down her cheeks. She nods. "You sure?" I ask, and she nods again. I go manifest. While there, I talk a little with Betsy and Lob, who ask about her. They express the same concerns I have, but they also haven't seen the need and the strength in her as I've seen over the last few days. I share my concerns with them, but also tell them I think she will be all right, and that it really is her call. They understand...after all, as Lob says, "she's a skydiver. That's what we do, what we need." 20 minute call... Lisa and I will do a two-way, and despite our wanting Mujie to join us, she wants to solo. I can totally understand that. I know she needs to be in the sky with Rob alone, to touch his heart once more, to be with him alone once again. Her grief is on her sleeve, and her need to do this so large. And I can't take it away. I can only support her however I can in beginning to heal, in surviving this time, in taking baby steps away from the tragedy and toward her new life. But damn it, fucking hell, I want to make it stop for her. And letting her fly alone today is one way I can support her. 10 minute call... We start gearing up. Lisa watches her turn on her cypres, and does a gear check while it's leaning against the picnic table. Lisa gets geared up, and I do a gear check. Except it's a Wings container, and the cypres is not where it is on mine. Muj starts laughing as I am looking at it, kinda scratching my head. "It's turned on, Michele", she says..."uh, all right. But where is it? Show me." I giggle, a tad chagrined to have been caught so blatantly. Then again, we all know tact is not necessarily a strong suit of mine, especially when I am gearing up myself....she points it out, and I look...yes, zero'd and lit. Fine and dandy. I check her altimeter for zero, and ask about her audible - where is it set? Is it on? She is looking at me, a mix of love and exasperation on her face. And I can't help but grin...and hug her again. 5 minute call... Lisa and I plan the dive as I get finished gearing up. Mujie has already made it down to the loading area, and I watch out of the corner of my eye as everyone on the load visually checks for handles available, straps done, the whole nine yards. I halfheartedly give the tandem passenger a hard time about his TM, and now it's time to get onto the plane... All 9 of us load up. We find seats, and I fight with the seatbelt as usual. I am not really nervous - my mind and my heart is with Mujie, and, as we power up and roll down the runway, I reach out and hold her hand...as the wheels lift off, tears trickle down her face, silently speaking of her loss and her pain. I rub her knee, and just maintain physical contact - letting her know I am here, we are here, we know, we understand, we love. The plane is inordinately quiet on the journey to altitude. And you could feel the vibes - all the vibes of the last few days, from around the world. Almost like a golden grid, I could sense them converging and being there, in the gloomy skies above Elsinore. I could almost see them arriving, waves upon waves of love coming, directed by prayers and hope. I look out the window, and watch the horizon drift lower and lower; the sea in the distance; the mountains pushing up, strong and solid. I see the lake, green and blue, pass beneath the plane, and I see the beauty which is this world, the intense panorama which greets our eyes, assails our senses in a way not common. And I can feel the hurt in this incredible person next to me. This temporarily fragile girlwoman, graceful in her grief, courageous beyond measure. Her strength is coming to the surface now, called out by circumstances beyond her control, demanded of her by this weekend's events. And she is meeting the crisis head-on, facing it, standing as the storm blows around her. How impressed I am by her - all of her - her fragility, her strength, her spirit's beauty, and the depth of her love for Rob. How in awe of her am I. 10K. Lob reaches out, gets Mujie's attention, and says "cypres check!" very matter of factly, as tears begin again to meander down Mujie's face. No simple pin check here...she leans over, and he finds the cypres. And checks her handles, straps, and altimeter. Satisfied, he starts to lean back, and I holler "me too!!!" and grin at Mujie. She is laughing through her tears...as I get the usual pin check, I notice that the exit order has subtlely changed...me and Lisa out, Mujie solo FF out, and then Chris Fiala and Ashley on a 2-way FF...and then the students... And now, it's time. As I stand up and move to the door, I grab Mujie's face between my hands, and kiss her. "I love you, Jess" I scream over the noise. "You are deeply loved. I'll see you on the ground"...and into the door, green light, check spot, and swing out...count, and go. I catch a brief glimpse of Mujie's face as I am leaving, and she is wiping tears away. She's next...but I am in the sky, and I have a jump to do. And so I do, but this isn't about my jump. All I will share is that I got my first kiss pass from Lisa Parks, and boy, was I surprised and was laughing out loud. Lisa says she was bored with me making faces at her... I deploy, and watch for canopies. My heart in my throat, I finally spot Mujie's canopy, and say a quick little prayer of thanks - it's whole, full, and flying well. I watch her pattern, and try to anticipate where she will land. Not that I can land anywhere near her, but I can try...and amazingly, as she touches down, I look out and see where I will land...about 75 feet away - which is actually pretty good, all things considered. As I fly directly over her head, I holler "hi, Jess" but she doesn't hear. As I am getting my canopy together, Jess comes over. And as I wrap my arms around her again, and again let her know she is loved, she weeps silent tears. But she is smiling...and there is a glimmer of peace in her eyes. Her healing has begun. Thank you, Jess my girl, for all you have taught me over the last few days...all you have shown me, all you have given me. I am a better person for knowing you. I love you. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~