i just copy and paste em!
IF THIS DOESN'T BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY AND PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE, YOU
>
> ARE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE. Enjoy!
>
>
>
> This gets the make my day award! Insight into the minds of 6th
> graders: The following were answers provided by 6th graders during a
> history test. Watch the spelling! Some of the best humor is in the
> misspelling.
>
>
>
> 1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in
> hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah
> is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
>
>
>
> 2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made
> unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses
> went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments. He died before
> he ever reached Canada.
>
>
>
> 3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
>
>
>
> 4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we
> wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female
> moth.
>
>
>
> 5. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people
> advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.
> After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
>
>
>
> 6. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits,
> and threw the java.
>
>
>
> 7. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The
> Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be
> made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."
>
>
>
> 8. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw.
>
>
>
> 9. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a
> success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted
> “hurrah."
>
>
>
> 10. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg
> invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was
> the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure
> because he invented cigarettes and started smoking.
>
>
>
> 11. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.
>
>
>
> 12. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He
> was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made
> much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote
> tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter.
> Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple. Romeo's last wish
> was to be laid by Juliet.
>
>
>
> 13. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He
> wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote
> paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained
>
>
>
> 14. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented
> Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two
> singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered
> electricity by rubbing two cats backward and declared, "A horse
> divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is
> still dead.
>
>
>
> 15. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's
> mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin that he built
> with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the
> Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln
> went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a
> moving picture show. They believe the assassinator was John Wilkes
> Booth, a supposing insane actor. This ruined Booth’s career.
>
>
>
> 16. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a
> large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster
> that he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach
> was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel
> was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.
>
>
>
> 17. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he
> wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone
> was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for > this.
>
>
>
> 18. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and
> inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing
> by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers
> to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick rapper, which did
> the work of a hundred men. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for
> rabbits. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the
> Species. Madman Curie discovered the radio. Karl Marx became one of
> the Marx Brothers if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN
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