Can anyone give me some advice to try and clear my head.
I started my skydive training on RAPS and did 27 static line jumps but never got any further than dummy pulls. I started off confident but got less and less confident on each jump. I then went to Spain to start AFF. I did levels 1 - 3 perfectly but level 4 was a complete disaster. I was with one instructor and supposed to be doing turns left and right. My instructor let go of me and I felt wobberly so instinctively put my leg down and guess what, I began to tumble out of control. This continued down to 4,000 feet when my instructor caught up with me and pulled my main for me. I have done two more jumps since but as confidence building jumps only where I told my instructor not to let me go. The last time I was at a dropzone I waited all day to jump and then it was my turn I could not do it. I have completely and utterly scared myself beyond belief. I did go to the windtunnel in Paris after my bad jump but it was a few weeks before I was able to jump after so I lost any benefit from that. I want to skydive so much but have let my fears get totally out of proportion and just cannot get over it. I think about nothing else. How can I progress if I daren't let my instructor let go of me incase I go unstable again. Any advice or similar stories will be much appreciated.
