steve1

I was wondering if Ray Cottingham is still filming. I still see his photos in Parachutist and I read an article that he is base jumping some. He filmed a couple round formations that we built in Idaho back in 73. He was a sky god even back then.

A man named Bill was tired of living in the city. He moved into a cabin far back in the wilderness to get away from it all. After weeks of solitude he heard a knock at the door. He opened the door to see a bearded, burly looking man staring at him. The man said that he was having a party and asked Bill if he wanted to attend. "Sure I'd be glad to attend," Bill said." The man started to leave and then stopped and turned around, "I have to warn you there might be some cussing going on at this party." The man started to leave again and then stopped. "I have to warn you that there may be some fighting going on." "That's okay," Bill said, "I don't mind a little cussing." The man started to leave again, but stopped. "I have to warn you there may be some fighting going on." "That's okay," Bill said. "I get along well with people." The man again started to leave, but stopped. "I have to warn you there may be some wild sex going on at this party." "That's okay," Bill said. Again the man started to leave and Bill asked him to stop. "I was just wondering what I should wear to the party?" The man replied, "wear anything you want, there's just gonna be you and me." (How's that for a sick joke?)

I'm not very good at remembering jokes so if you've heard this one before it was probably a lot different. My memory is going......... Two old cowboys were in the bar one day talking about the price of horses. There names were Hank and Slim. Over in the corner of the bar a young lady started choking. Slim saw what was happening and ran over to her. Slim said, "Little lady, can you talk?" She was only able to shake her head. Slim then asked, "Can you breathe?" Again she shook her head. He also noticed that she was turning blue. Suddenly Slim ran around behind her and threw up her dress and jerked down her underdrawers. He then ran a big wet tongue across her rear end and half way up her back. The lady was so shocked that she suddenly choked up the pickled egg that was stuck in her throat. Slim calmly walked back over to the bar to finish his drink. Hank had been watching all this and commented. "Slim you done good! I always heard about that HIND lICK MANEUVER, but I never have seen it done." ( Has anybody else heard any good ones lately?)

I have a harness that is a little small for me. I wouldn't mind having it a couple inches bigger. I also like the idea of hip rings. Would it be possible to have a Master rigger make these changes? Would it be economically feasible. It might be cheaper to just buy a new harness and container. I love my rig, but it's a little small. Thanks, Steve

Lisa, I wish I knew more about positive visualization. I think everyone tries to get fired up in their own way. It seems like my relative work is best when I think less and just try to enjoy the jump as much as possible. I take in the sounds, smells, images around me, etc. until I can't wait to leave the air craft and have fun. It could be you are tired and run down and maybe a break from skydiving might help. It's hard to be up for a jump when you are worried or stressed about other things. I know I mess up if I try too hard to do something. I need to think less and have fun. Maybe going out on smaller way jumps will get you tuned up for big ways again. Getting on some fun loads where there is less pressure may help you get used to your new jump suit and regain the edge you had earlier. Steve

Rigger Rob, I was wondering if you could explain why a T-10 canopy is shaped the way it is. If I remember right it has a parabolic shape. Does this reduce chances of malfunction or is it meant to produce softer openings? I was also wondering why the smokejumpers don't use this type of chute. I'm not sure what type of canopy the smoke jumpers use now. They have been experimenting with a large variety of them for years (even some squares). Also your input on sliders was very informative. I'm learning a lot. Interesting stuff. Steve

Chuck, Sorry for your misfortune. I know you have a thankless job. Most of us are grateful for the job the police do. My brother was a police officer until he broke his ear drum. Then he had to find another line of work. He now works as a parole officer with tougher felons in Oregon. He says it's kind of like a revolving door thing with the prisons. The felons get out for a while, then mess up, and go back in (with rare exception). He showed me the rap sheets on some of these guys and there are pages of felonies they have committed. I get tired of people saying that consequences don't work and that what we need to do is try to rehabilitate these people. Does that really work? I know it's probably not much fun being in prison, but some of them seem way too cushie to me. Why get out if things are better on the inside. I mean in most of them you have rec. time, TV sets, college classes, good food, and more. I know it isn't all gravy being in the lock up, but I think it ought to be tougher. In Mexico there is a lot less crime there, because if you go to prison, you'll probably be eating gruel and chicken feet, unless your family can feed you, while you're in prison. Trying to sue this scumbag would probably be a waste of time if he doesn't have anything. Some of these ideas are probably narrow minded, but that's how I see it. Redneck Steve (I'm thinking about running for Governor of Montana).

Lisa, I'd give them a few more jumps. I love mine and wouldn't want to go back to none. But what do I know. You are the one I turn to to answer all my newbie questions. P.S. I got my slow sleeves from Shirley. Maybe it would be good to have her take a look at your booties. Steve

I got my first kyss pass about 25 years ago. It was unheard of back then to try this without grips. Even today I'm not sure if I'm skilled enough for that. I can just picture myself getting all puckered up and then slamming into someones face. Maybe someday. Steve

Fred, I'm no expert either, but I'd hate to make six or seven test jumps without locking line stows. If you were opening at terminal it wouldn't be any fun. In the olden days reserve parachutes were packed without a bag. The canopy would open and then you'd fall to the end of your lines. I've talked to people who have done this and again it was a very painful thing. When the army first started static line jumping they didn't have deployment bags on their rigs. If I remember right they had T-7 canopies. Again the openings were severe. I wonder if you could have misunderstood your rigger. I thought it was common knowledge why locking stows are so important. Steve

I'm supposed to be working right now, but my boss is an old Bitch, and it's Friday, so what the hell. I can't remember many jokes, but this is a good one. And I don't mean to offend any Red Necks out there because I'm kinda one myself. "Do you know how you can tell if you are a Red Neck?"..... If you go to family reunions to pick up women, you are probably a Red Neck"...... (Good one huh!)

I never heard of using velcro gloves. Good idea though. Most of us here just use hip boots. What will they think up next! Technology is a wonderful thing. Steve

Clay, When I lived in Western Montana we used to tell North Dakotian jokes. I guess that's why I liked the Red Neck joke so much. Now that I live so close to North Dakota I don't hear many. So this is a really old sick North Dakota Joke. "Do you know why the Space Program is recruiting so many North Dakotians to become Astronauts?" ......."It's because they are the only ones who can take a crapper in their pants and stand it for two weeks!" (I told you it was sick. There's plenty more where that one came from. I hope noone reading this is from North Dakota.)

Great Joke! I've never heard it before.

There was a great explosives story on TV a while back. A huge whale washed up on shore and died. After a month or so it started stinking to high heaven. So the community got together and tried to figure out what to do with this dead whale. Someone decided that the best way to get rid of it was to blow it up. So a team of people set a whole shitload of explosives under it. Hoards of people were moved back a safe distance to watch. The explosion was terrific and everyone cheered. Most of the whale was gone and things were looking good. That is until it started raining down 500 pound chunks of whale. People ran for their lives. Some vehicles were even destroyed, but luckily noone was killed.

I always wanted to look like Arnold Swartzenegger. The only trouble is I don't have the genetics to ever look like that. I've got narrow shoulders, small bones, and wasn't born with enough muscles cells. Genetics does play a big role in bodybuilding. At any rate I lifted weights for years and finally reached the point where I thought I'd try competing. Talk about dieting. It was awful. You had to get down to an unhealthy body fat level while trying to maintain your muscle mass. Then you had to dehydrate for days before the contest while avoiding sodium. What kept me on my diet was the thought of looking fat in front of hundreds of people. I mean it's not easy getting up in front of a crowd in a pair of skimpy skivies. I didn't do too great, but it was a great experience. I even won a couple trophies in the over 35 men's division. The only trouble was I would always gain all the fat back that I had lost plus a little extra. Steve

I'm on day 3 of a new diet. I've always been real skinny until the last several years I've been putting on too many lbs. My daughters are actually making fun of me. I like to walk around the house with my shirt off just to gross them out. At any rate I want to be lean and mean for the summer months. Any suggestions? I'm eating lots of rabbit food, staying away from fat, little or no junk food, counting calories, lean meat, chicken, cooking without grease, no beer or wine for 3 days, etc. I'd like to lose a pound or two every week. I've been running some, lifting weights, and jumping rope a little. I told my youngest daughter that I'd lose two pounds for every pound she lost, so we have some money bet on this. I am a little worried that If I lose too much weight though, my new canopy won't be any fun when I finally get to jump it. So maybe I'll go off my diet and stay fat. I can't afford to downsize again. Any suggestions?

Clay, Western Montana is a lot neater than the Eastern part. Come to Stevensville or Lost Prairie this summer and I'll make some jumps with you. I should be near Stevensville most of the summer. I can't wait to get in the air again. Steve

A lot of times, for excitement here in Eastern Montana, we'll go down to the local hardware store and buy a big bag of cement. We'll then mix it up and all sit around and watch it harden up. Or another really fun thing to do here is go down to the stop light and all sit around and wait for it to change. I guess I've been here too long. I used to hunt and fish a lot. Since I started skydiving again that's about all I want to do. Am I a boring person or what? Steve

In 69 and 70 I went through Special Forces training. In the final phase of training, everyone is cross trained in explosives. The class ahead of ours was setting up a ring-main. This involves using electrical caps and blocks of TNT. Wires are then ran from block to block in a series. A group of about ten guys finally got everything all wired up right. Each was holding a block of TNT. The only problem was that someone had left the circuit open. The other end of the wire was hooked up to a battery with a switch. Some idiot had left the switch open. Everyone in this group was blown to smithereens.

A long time ago, when I worked in the woods, there was an old guy who did most of the blasting in road building. He usually used electrical caps and would detonate them by running the wires back to his pickup battery. Every time he set off a charge the wires would get shorter and shorter. One day he was standing next to his truck, holding up the hood with one arm and touching wires to the battery with the other hand. Their was a great explosion and things were looking good until this huge rock came down on the hood breaking his arm. The worst part was listening to our crew boss chew him out for being so stupid. He was a nice old guy.

Rigger Rob, On both my rigs I have been using two larger rubber bands for the first two locking stows. They are the bigger tandem type. The idea behind it is to prevent line dump. I'm just wondering if this could cause a bag lock. The guy I bought my first rig from, made over a thousand jumps on this rig, using this method without a problem. I'm just wondering if this is a good idea, because no one else I know packs this way. Thanks for all your help. Steve

Sorry for your loss Chuck. I don't care what anybody says. It takes a lot of balls to end your own life. It's too bad he couldn't have gotten some help before it happened. Sometimes there aren't many visible signs that people can notice beforehand. Steve

I've been experimenting with some home brew myself. I've got nothing better to do since I can't jump due to cold weather. I mix a bottle of beer with about 12 viagra tablets. With this mixture you can literally poor yourself a stiff one. "Annonimous" (is that spelled right?)

It's been three months for me. I just take it one day at a time. Instead of jumping I've been spending all my money on gear and too much time on dropzone.com. (I hate Montana winters). I quit for 25 years once, but went to a reunion at our old drop zone and fell off the wagon. They had me on a load that very day. It's not easy being a jump addict. Steve