Hi Sweetie,
I know how you feel. So many times there are things that come up where I say to myself, "Mike would really appreciate that," "Mike would think this is hilarious," or "Wow, Mike would love to be here for this moment." I think about giving him a call, but I can't now. I'm certainly happy I had a chance to talk to him just a week before he died. I keep thinking that if he had just made it to Spokane things would be so different.
Just last night I was up with Kim and the kids and Kim and I were sitting out on the porch having some wine while the kids were playing. Ben was being a little bugger and telling Kim she had a big butt. We decided that since his name is Benjamin Michael, she couldn't expect much different. We were also watching Emmy running around with a soccer ball and she has absolutely no butt! We were laughing that her pants hardly stay on with no butt to hold them up and she was following after Mike that way. Of course we all remember that favorite line of his about everything being big except his butt. :-)
Breakfast - remeber how even when we were all out/up late in the Broadway house or out jumping, he would be the first to try to get us up and moving in the morning to go out to breakfast. I would just want to keep sleeping or grab something quick on the way to the DZ, but Mikey wouldn't hear of it. It COULDN'T be fast food, only a full on breakfast complete with a side of something, usually pancakes. I'd get something small and sit quietly and eat, but he'd still beat me every time. Guess it didn't help that I'm the slowest eater in the world. Even Ben and Emily beat me most of the time already.
Just about every day I remember some little part of Mike, some little saying, viewpoint, or attitude, some discussion, activity, or adventure, even some disagreements, arguments or issues we had over the many years. For just about every instance, time of day, or event I can think of something Mike would have to say about it. He certainly wasn't short on words. :-)
I still have the pictures albums I made for the memorial sitting on my coffee table and I look at them regularly. Sometimes I don't even open them up, I just pause for a minute as I walk by and look at the closed books sitting there and a flood of memories come back yet again. Although less frequent, I'm certainly not beyond tears yet and I'm not sure I ever will be.
Blue Skies,
Megan