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I got hurt. The closest I've been to a skydive all summer is one observer ride in an Otter. So do I get some cheese & a cracker with my whine, or what ? Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

The Sports Page - Incident reports, fatal or non, in Parachutist Magazine or any other publication or forum. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

The packing requirement looks like something recent to me. In the old days, when parachutes wuz still carved out of wood, it was pretty well assumed you could pack because you learned how for your first freefall (jump #6 or thereabouts). Packers were the guys who stuffed the student S/L rigs for a buck apiece. If a "real" jumper had suggested someone pack for them, they'd have been run off the property with a pitchfork. But we live in a service economy now, so I guess you really have to prove you can pack, if only once in your life. "Pack a jumper's rig, and they can jump today, teach them to pack and they can jump for life." Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

Any local jumpers living nearby ? Try luring one over to your house with "beer" and then do a couple packjobs in your yard. Just keep packing and unpacking the thing and by about the 6th packjob (and hopefully not your 6th beer, just yet), you should have it down enough to feel confident. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

Congratulations! You did it, your first chop and everything worked. Ain't it great to be alive ? Bummer about your new canopy. I have no idea how quickly the Relative Workshop can get you the new line set, but call them. I've heard they have a good rep for service. Hope you get back in the air quickly. By the way, the tequila's for your rigger... Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

It's funny how we've invented new ways to kill ourselves just as we've mostly solved the old (boring) ways. There really aren't so many of us going splat like a bug on a windshield anymore since the Cypres and RSL's are widely used. Getting something to open isn't really the big problemo anymore, it's what to do with it once it's opened. And in the wrong hands, some of these canopies are certifiable suicide machines. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

At least you woke up. I'm about 15 months behind you, so save me a spot at Club Fifty. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

Not found on a bathroom wall, but too good to pass up: Doctor Dave was dealing with a heavy guilt trip over having had sex with one of his patients. It tormented him. At times a voice inside would tell him, "Dave, you're not the first doctor to fall into bed with one of his patients. And you won't be the last. You're young Dave, and single. So forget it." But then another voice would bring him back to reality: But Dave, you're a veterinarian." Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

Just bought my copy (2nd edition) off the shelf at Square1 in Perris last week. I'm reading through it now while I'm still grounded with an injury and hoping to get back this fall. I think it's very well written and has just the kind of information I was looking for. It explains a lot of concepts I had never even really thought of, or at least articulated. F'rinstance, the importance of keeping tension on the suspension lines. Well, "duh" you might say, but as obvious as it may sound, how often does anyone ever talk about it ? And how many serious injuries are caused by related problems with line tension or the lack of it ? This is a marvelous reference that will stay on my bookshelf for years to come. Suggestions for improvements: use some photos and hire a proofreader for heaven's sake! Keep up the good work and thanks much! Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

Many years ago I saw a woman whose reserve exploded on opening. She'd been unable to pull out the hand deploy for her main, so pulled silver instead. Well, after the reserve blew up and streamered, she went back to working on the main hand deploy and finally got it out. She sat in under her main at about 100 ft. She was a weeping hysterical mess (understandable), but she lived because she never gave up. Never give up while you're still alive. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

Fuck it, time to talk to the police. Find out how to file a criminal complaint and have the fucker arrested. I wouldn't send anybody money for gear unless the deal was being brokered by a reputable gear dealer. It's even worth paying extra for the service. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

Nothing snaps you out of it like tumbling out the door at 13,000. Of course I haven't done THAT (hung over, that is) in 24 years. But I remember guys hurling out the door onto the runway on takeoff. That was hardcore. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

If you think jumping's expensive, just wait 'til you get hurt ! Did you know a simple ambulence ride costs a grand. And a doctor in the ER who does nothing but look at a stinkin' x-ray and pat you on the back ? Try $649. Good thing he didn't pat me on the back twice.... Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

It's not as safe as we'd like it to be, nor is it as dangerous as the public thinks. Personally, I ran up a pretty long list of people I've known who died jumping, all in the old days, and it contributed to my burnout and leaving the sport in 1980. It can get to be too much for some people. I have noticed that after a fatality, it's not unusual for at least one person to quit. Most of us will try to catch the next plane going up, but it's a quiet ride full of very thoughtful people. Having come back after so many years away, I find skydiving has re-energized me. I feel safest the moment I leave the plane. What was it Tanya Garcia-O'Brien said, she feels safe with all that air around her to prtect her from being hurt. But it's not safe. It's a reward, a very beautiful reward for those who want it badly enough to assume thhe risk that goes with it. If we pay attention to safety, wear helmets, choose an intelligent sized canopy for our skill level, and don't flout the laws of phyics (which are STRICTLY enforced), we can bank the odds in our favor. But the risk is there, and frankly it's a part of the attraction, that little "uh-oh" that tugs at your gut when the door is opened for jump run. The cost-benefit analysis of risk vs. reward is a totally personal thing. Everyone has to make their own decision and respect the decisions that others make. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

And I thought you were just Gullible. I'll be back again this afternoon. No way dude, my turn. This sounds like a serious case that requires longterm daily surveillance... Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

I've still got pin in my ankle, which is coming out in about 2 weeks. After some PT and excercise, I'll be going back at it with an upsized canopy. I'm swapping my 190 for a 210. First, my exit weight is 245. Second, I only have 64 current jumps, the other 566 were 1974 - '80. I don't think 64 jumps is really the right stuff for a 1.3 wingload and should get as much fun & a bit more forgiveness from 1.17. Most important is I don't want to get re-injured. If that happens, I'll either have to quit or have the damn foot amputated and just stop worrying about it (it's all a matter of priorities). Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

As a Democrat (no apologies, thank you), this is one of the things that bugs me about my party. We need to run a candidate who will take a very clear stand against Bush, on every issue, every step of the way. But the party is still afraid that doing so will somehow "offend" people. This mushyness is exactly the thing that encourages people to flush their votes on assholes like Ralph Nader, and will once again hand another four years over to the Chimpanzee and his corporate hoods. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

I find the mere fact that he thinks he has an obligation to sue a bit disconcerting... our court systemse are way too clogged with people suing for all their pain and suffering. I mean, didn't he feel that he got some response after his 12 page letter?? Uh, no.... After all, their response was that they had handled everything by the book and done nothing wrong. That would indicate they had no remorse or any incentive to change. The facts as he states them are correct, if you are over 16 years of age, carrying a knife in NY is no more illegal than wearing a hat. And there was no indication of any crime that had been committed. How many of us know of someone who's called the cops and asked for help, only to be told they can do nothing because there hasn't been a crime committed ? A simple polit question or two would've sufficed. I hope he wins a huge judgement and wipes out their discretionary doughnut budget. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

Smash him in the nose with the heel of your palm. The pain and explosion of blood will shut him up. Then rip your blouse open and tell everyone that he did it. Also, feel free to kick him in the nuts repeatedly, so he'll stay quiet for a long time. Some people just need to be handled decisively and they usually ask for it. He did. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

When's Harry gonna finally get laid ? Rowling could call that one, "Harry Potter and the Delta of Venus". Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

It depends a lot on the season and the weather. During the winter I really go for IPA's, Stouts & Porters. When the weather warms up, I like Pilseners, wheat beers, and even Corona on the really hot days. Favorites would have to be Guiness Stout (draft), Pilsener Urquell, and Fuller's Extra Special Bitter. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

Kerry, no doubt. But this poll is already interesting, it's a very razor thin margin between Bush and Kerry, with asshole Ralph Nader draining 2% of the vote down the shitter again. Of course this time Ralph SWEARS that he's attracting the real conservative Republicans who are disaffected with Bush. That's why all those Republicans are contributing money to his campaign and circulating ballot petitions in the battleground states. What an asshole, I hope he dies in his sleep, of entirely natural causes, before November. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

Depends. Why were you doing the free work and providing free gear for him (her?)??? Yeah really. All these free repacks AND replacing a pilot chute & free bag ? Sounds like a stong undercurrent of sexual desire involved in this, whether it be a he or a she. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

The simplicity of this idea gets more beautiful every time I think about it. For best results, do it on a Saturday morning. And don't offer a ride or a referral to some other rigger, that's his/her problem. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

The footprint's blown to smithereens, the flag fell over, next you'll be telling us the damn kids have stripped the Lunar Module.... And I just got over being told there's no Santa Claus either. Damn you guys. Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !