noxice

Worth it? You decide it for yourself. Possible? Sure. Most people go before trying a tunnel. Your AFF instructors will teach you how to stay stable. Chill.

I have social anxiety. My social anxiety is so powerful that on AFF1, when the parachute opened above my head, I thought that instructors could have heard me via the radio and immediately repressed the need for screaming of joy. I'm that helpless. I have experienced a wide range of emotions during the course and after, but when I went through the videos, I was presented with my face during the plane rides: it was totally emotionless. I was smiling during the freefall, but in the photos I didn't know were being taken at the party that came after, I looked like I was about to kill someone. I was actually very happy. The not very nice comments that I have overheard about me from the instructors didn't help, but I can totally understand them. I get that I look like a total creep, but I cannot really do much about it. I never showed up at that DZ. It's been the same at the others. It's the same at work, or when walking down the street. I am actually a very friendly person, but I cannot seem to show it to complete strangers. This has ruined a lot of things for me and now I am afraid it will ruin skydive too (which I love). Has anyone ever done that "work on yourself" everybody is talking about and solved the problem? I would be very happy of hearing about it and getting some inspiration. p.s. Still getting laid tho (sometimes).