beezyshaw

Damn, I hate being a copy-cat. OK, how 'bout this one... FINALLY SOMEONE CLEARED THIS UP! For centuries, Hindu women have worn a red spot on their foreheads. We have always naively thought that it had something to do with their religion. The true story has recently been revealed by the Indian Embassy in Washington DC. When one of these women gets married, she brings with her a dowry. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the red spot to see if he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop, or a motel in the United States..

An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Fred, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament. Dear Fred, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me. Love, Dad A few days later he received a letter from his son. Dear Dad, For heaven's sake, don't dig up that garden! That's where I buried the BODIES. Love, Fred At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son. Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love, Fred

Extra bonus points to anyone who can tell me OK's real name

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female...... Any part under a car's hood. Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male.... Playing football without a cup. 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male... Leaving a note before taking off to the drop zone. 4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n. Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family. Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one. 5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book. Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer. 6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion. Male...... A source of entertainment, self- expression, male bonding. 7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve. Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it. 8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another. Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

Momento shmomento! Look at my profile. So who still knows their A number that's lower than mine?

Now Hear This, Now Hear This... After packing the T Bow a couple of times today (amazing how it comes back to you after not putting my hands on one for almost 30 years)... There's no backing out! Get your video cameras charged. Like we used to say, "Outa my way, boys, I've got some SKYDIVIN' to do!

Hey, I think I'll show up in Dublin with a T shirt that says, "Chris Spence is a rip-off and trying to get rich with RoamingDZ" I love you man

Yes, I do remember; and be assured it was long after the safety flyer and swift reserves era before I went square for plan B.

Maybe you don't realize it, but many people are "qualified" to evaluate complaint canopies by jumping them. I've spent many years of my life doing it hundreds and hundreds of times. If a proper inspection of the canopy is performed, and it passes that inspection, you go skydiving. If nothing else, those types of jumps keep this sport from becoming boring and routine! And hey, it's only skydiving, what's the worst that could happen?

Update on the T Bow jump tomorrow: I decided to use a square reserve in a chest-mount container for the jump. I know that's wimping out just a little bit, but when I kept looking at the K-20, the choice became clear to go "modern" for the reserve. What's ironic about this is when we first had square reserves, a lot of jumpers (including myself) had the mindset of "If my stratostar malfunctions, I damn sure don't want another SQUARE as my last chance. Now, planning on jumping a round main, I'm thinking just the opposite. Times change, huh?

Actually, maybe it would be GOOD for business; while I'm limping around after busting my ass under that T Bow, I can say "this wouldn't have happened if I'd only been jumping one of my canopies!"

Unbelievable photos here... http://www.micom.net/oops/

A lot of these P2P music "sharing" sites claim to be 100% legal, but I question that. Maybe the SITE itself isn't illegal, but to download copywrited music from someone else through the site HAS to be a violation. In my way of thinking, if you want to download music, you have to do it from a site that charges "normal" prices because those are the ones paying royalty to those who own the music. I download a lot of music from WalMart's download site, and you can choose entire CD's for like $9 or individual tracks for $0.88 each. It's very simple and is a plug-in to Windows Media Player, and you can download anything like 10 times without paying again. Stealing someone's intellectual property is just plain WRONG. I hope a certain person reads this and thinks about that.

This ain't about politics, it's just a sex thang.

And she described it like this...

I'm going to do all that in a "conventional" rig? I do have a cutaway rig, but there's no way it will fit in the main container. This thing packs bigger than my tandem main.

So I have this friend who owns a Thunderbow main canopy; he has never jumped a "round" (or triangular) canopy before, as this T Bow is older than he is, I'm sure. Anyway he says he wants me to help him pack it and get it ready to jump. Now I have to dig out a round reserve to put in the chest mount container, and dig up a couple of MA-1's and all that sort of stuff. Then he says, "since you've got a few hundred jumps on a T Bow, why don't you jump it too?" So like a dumb ass, I agree and say "sure, why not?" Well, this morning I'm inspecting and packing the Thunderbow, and all of a sudden it hits me..."What in the hell am I thinking? My desire to jump this is less than zero! So now, somebody tell me why I should or should not jump from a perfectly good airplane with a canopy I haven't jumped in almost 30 years. And please, give me some good reasons to "just say no" !!

I need some help. My cousin's cat had kittens and he was able to give away all but 3 of them. I told him I would help him find homes for the last 3. I can't take one because my son is allergic but if three of you could take just one it would be such a help and the kittens could have a nice home. Since he lives up by the Lake Robinson Nuclear Power Plant, I'll go pick them up for you. I've attached pictures of the last 3 kittens. Will you help?

I drove my 1973 BMW 2002 for twenty years; I put a new engine in it at about 350K then drove it another 150K before my teenagers tore it up, so total of around 500 thousand miles. I honestly don't think they build them like that any more.

N/A

Think you're pretty fast with a six-gun? Watch this... http://www.hiperusa.com/fastshootRevolver.wmv

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain... do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!" His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too.

Since I've been a skydiver since 1972, it's pretty hard to answer that; so I guess I'd say I gave up my pacifier!

I have already been in contact with a government official in Nigeria who is helping me collect your unclaimed fortune you made in the oil business in Africa. Thanks for dying, I'm going to be rich!

There's nothing like really good a/c in your auto... http://www.hiperusa.com/toyota_ac.wmv