beezyshaw

How old is the canopy? Does it have dacron or spectra lines? Dacron helps a lot, and I think now that is the only lines Precision will put on a big Falcon because they are known to open hard. If it is a really old one, there is a bigger slider available that makes a huge difference. And as someone said, rolling 4 and 4 and stuffing in the center cell helps, too. (BTW, I was Precision's customer service/test jumper for many years when Falcons were very popular canopies.)

This is a reminder to do something special for your Mom this Sunday... http://www.hiperusa.com/ODETOMUM.PPS

Once upon a time a guy asked a girl "will you marry me?" She said "No" And the guy lived happily ever after

I'm not accusing downloaders of any such thing; I just want to remind people that it IS the same thing, only done it what seems like a harmless manner. I am currently victim of someone stealing my intellectual property and it's costing me a bundle in lost revenue. While it's easy enough to say that the rock stars have plenty of money anyway, and what could it hurt, when you're the little guy and someone's doing that to you, it makes a huge difference in your ability to support yourself.

Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't you just go to the music store and slip a cd in your pocket while nobody's looking? It's the same thing as using p2p sites for getting music.

At Heathrow Airport in England, a 300-foot red carpet was stretched out to Air Force One and President Bush strode to a warm but dignified handshake from Queen Elizabeth II. They rode in a silver 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London where they boarded an open 17th century coach hitched to six magnificent white horses. As they rode toward Buckingham Palace, each looking to their side and waving to the thousands of cheering Britons lining the streets, all was going well. This was indeed a glorious display of pageantry and dignity. Suddenly the scene was shattered when the right rear horse let rip the most horrendous, earth-shattering, eye-smarting blast of flatulence and the coach immediately filled with noxious fumes. Uncomfortable, but maintaining control, the two dignitaries did their best to ignore the whole incident, but then the Queen decided that was a ridiculous manner with which to handle a most embarrassing situation. She turned to Mr. Bush and explained, "Mr. President, please accept my regrets. I'm sure you understand that there are some things even a Queen cannot control." George W., ever the Texas gentleman, replied, "Your Majesty, please don't give the matter another thought. You know, if you hadn't said something I would have assumed it was one of the horses."

A college class was told that each student had to write a short story in as few words as possible. The short story had to contain the following three things: (1) Religion (2) Sexuality (3) Mystery. There was only one A+ paper in the entire class. Below is the A+ short story: Good God, I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it.

I am sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South and I challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam: 1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum. 2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? a. 65 Ford Fairlane, b. 69 Chevrolet Chevelle, or c. 64 Pontiac GTO. 3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product? 4 A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers does it take to cut the trees down? 5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer? 6. A front porch is constructed of 2 x 8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed? 7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front? 8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler? 9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift? 10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer? And, lastly... REDNECK TIP OF THE WEEK: Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop, place an order, and when they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with them.

Since when was everyone not already using your camper! ps If anyone has any details about what happened to Preston, please pm me.

I've known Preston longer than most skydivers have been alive. We go way, way back. Man this really takes you straight to that deep, dark truthful mirror about everyone's own mortality. I'll miss you, bro, but I'm sure we'll fly with each other again.

Here is an illustration from the Nitro owner's manual; it may help. It shows the typical amount of "bow" you should see in the control lines at full flight...

I went to prep school (Baylor in Chattanooga) with a guy named Happy Dicks No shit, and he later played football at GA! Can't you hear the announcer "OK, looks like Georgia's bringing Happy Dicks in the game" !! Oh, and while we're on the subject, check out this photo...

Did you mean "whirled peas"?

A woman walks into her doctor's office, scared of the strange development recent to the inside of her thighs... a green spot on the inside of each. They won't wash off, they won't scrape off, and they seem to be getting worse. The doctor assures her he'll get to the bottom of this, and that she needn't worry until tests come back. He sends her home. A few days later, the woman's phone rings. Much to her relief, it's the doctor. She immediately begs to know what's going on with these spots? "You're perfectly healthy--there's no problem. But I'm wondering: is your husband a Harley guy?" the doctor asks. "Yes--how did you know?" "Tell him his earrings aren't real gold."

I don't know if this is already in circulation, but a friend sent this link via email, and I've been "shooting accuracy" and honing my spotting skills today... http://www.bassfiles.net/parachute.swf

One day, in line at a company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars... a lot cheaper than a doctor." So Joe puts a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak it in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-mart. That afternoon, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. When he got home, he mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter and his own sperm sample for good measure, and hurried to Wal-mart before it closed, eager to check the results. He deposited ten dollars, poured in his concoction, and awaited the results. The computer lights up, and ten seconds later prints the following: 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener kit. (Aisle 9) 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7) 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4 Your wife is pregnant, Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better Thank you for shopping @ Wal-mart

aggiedave Amanduh beezyshaw/HiPerUSA blueskyserenity Brains BRYANGOESBOOM brits17 chaoskitty CSpence & The RoamingDZ.com Douva Fireflytx FlyinBob gemini hippydiver InsaneDaddy JeNnEjEnN kelel01 (maybe) Professor rastaricanair sitflypat skinnyshrek sum1mom Thanatos340 Turtlespeed upndownshop Voodew1 weegegirl wmw999

PM sent

aw, shuks

The sailing supply places don't carry anything small enough for parachute line. PM me and let me know how much you're looking for and I can probably help you.

Dayuum, Kitty, yoo shure r clevr fer a blonde. Houd yoo git 2 B so funnee?

A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. "Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time: a brown curly wig, big baggy clothes, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days before she approached the salesman again and said, "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied.

A dirt dive is mud wrestling during a drought.

Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to wash my car. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trash can under the table, and notice that the trash can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking. I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the coke a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered. I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day: the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers aren't watered, there is still only one check in my checkbook, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys. Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail. Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming! GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC!

http://tinyurl.com/4yx2z