miked10270

HI Speedy, GROSSLY OVERDRESSED Tandem Passenger. Skreamer... We "have to talk" about your "use" of "Scottish" language. I worry that you've been spending too much time in the bathroom with the lid off a shortbread tin of late. The lady pictured is NOT a Haggis (all her limbs sppear the same length), nor are the things in her bikini Top Haggis'. A Bikini Top is not a practical Haggis catcher! Mike D10270

Hi A Zennie, Nice one... Now the night jump... The water jump... The Eagles & Falcons... Deliberate canopy collisions (I mean CReW).... The "Big" ways... You're "Let loose" now friend... & it's a blast. Mike D10270

Hi Y'all, After stopping at a gas station & paying $US4.60 per gallon of fuel (sorry, that's "Imperial Gallons, so it's $US 4 per US Gallon... HEY... THAT'S SOMETHING AMERICAN THAT'S SMALLER THAN IT'S BRITISH EQUIVALENT!!!). Then going to a supermarket & paying $US27 for a bottle of Jack Daniels I went home feeling kind of "51st State" (not uncommon)... At least, until I logged on.... First I did the "Life Insurance" poll.... 34% DONT KNOW!!!! Personally I know that if I "Go-in" I'm worth c.$US200K, plus the house (that's why Iona doesn't get to pack)! So... To the 34% "don't know"... FECKIN' FIND OUT. To the 26% "no" FECKIN' FIX IT. Insurance is cheaper when you're younger & even if you've no "responsibilities" now, that can (probably will) change. Get it past your insurers while they think they don't have to pay out money. Next thing I looked at was the John Mathews Vs. Aetna battle!!!!! It took me back a year+. Skydiving accident = well bust leg & ankle. So, one double manned paramedic unit to scene, initial treatment & entinox with ambulance ride (round trip for the ambulance was 90 miles), to the most suitable hospital (not the nearest). Radiographs, Manipulation Under Anaesthetic & joint reconstruction surgery (so far we're still under 3 hours post incident). 3 nights in hospital with first 12 hours in Intensive Therapy Unit. Crutches supplied & cast refit on a bi-daily basis for the next 4 weeks until the size of my leg kind of stabilised. Then 6 months of almost daily Physioterrorist attention ("Would you like to move in to the hospice as an in patient?" "NO I FECKIN' WOULD NOT!" - Yes, the offer was made). Then 2 further operations to remove the plates & screws in my lower leg (General anaesthetic & overnight in hospital). More Physioterrorists (NOT a spelling error). Result... legs & feet that work as well as they did before

Hi "A" King, PRAT: slang n. used abusively; a fool, an ineffectual person. EG: He doesn't know what a prat is... What a Prat! Mike D10270.

Hi Newguy, "All these horrible things come from Pommi land" Australians? Mike D10270.

Hi Speedy, I worry about you... It seems you may need a little professional help with your Megalomania! Well you're at the right place... Speaking as a professional Megalomaniac of many years standing...... Mike D10270.

Hey guys (& Gals), Don't worry about "Kyoto", it'll all work out fine just as soon as Dubya learns to pronounce it & finds out where it is!!! Mike D10270.

Hey Jessica, Lend you rpal your rig & forget about her paying the 4 year check! All she's gotta do is buy a gear bag big enough for your rig and accesories (the accessories being you, a heater and 6 hours supply of aviation oxygen. Mike D10270.

Yeah Skreamer, listen to skyhawk... Australia... The land of the tall man (& the nervous camel) How do you tell the difference beteen an Oz girl & a Camel?... Camels have a reputation for spitting! Mike D10270.

Oh, BTW, check out http://www.skydivemag.com/aug99/spotting.htm Hope this helps... Getting the guys out in the right place is teamwork

Hi Mike, When you're the pilot think "Chauffer"... Trust the JM. He's the one with his head out of the door & looking straight down, so he says which way to go & when the passengers get out. Mike D10270.

Hi there, Just so all us Brits (& visitors) ARE clear on this... It was the Sun that Skreamer saw over London. there is (apparently) some scientific opinion that the Sun is in fact "up there" every day & this is what causes the sky to go a lighter shade of gray during daytime! Anyway, after a long weekend (actually an interminably lonnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg weekend) of the other sort of Relative Work, Sunday was saved by an early escape from the bosom (clutches?) of my loving mother and an unusually light gray sky which looked on the point of turning blue!!!!!!! So... Down to the nearest DZ (must have "left" my gear in the back of the car but "much to my surprise" there it was). Manifested & got the kit-up call which included a little surprise "Mike will JM this lift!!!!!" Arrrgh!!! A DZ I hadn't jumped at in 18 months... Surrounded by farmland... In the middle of the Foot & Mouth crisis... With the entire Farmer McNasty Clan trading in their shotguns for 20mm Flak cannon to protect them from the "Four Skydivers of The Apocalypse" landing near to their Beasts"... "The Spot is over there (vague arm waves), but the last (experienced) lift landed out in that farm"!.. "This lift's going to 12,000ft"! "By the way, the pilot's just started flying parachute lifts"... "Don't worry... The rest of the lift are all 'about' "A" Licence". So... There I was at the back of a C-206 WITH NO FECKIN' DOOR burning up to 12'. At this point would anyone care to hazard a guess at the one piece of kit I didn't have with me? Yep, you got it, my super-duper Gore & Thinsulate warm suit! Still I had my RW suit on over a 't' so everything was fine... Fine in a "Scott of the Feckin' Antartic" sort of way. Oh... Did I mention "the cloud" yet? The single sodding 1 square mile cloud that lurks under the run in & covers every bloody landmark around the DZ! So... first run in is about half a mile out so 'round again and good the second time

Hi there, So... The shopping list. First off... don't get into the "buy the best", & unless you have "LODSA-MONEY" look at second-hand stuff. Don't be proud, this is the kit you'll use for the next year or so, while you take (&give) the hard docks, rough landings & all the other stuff that makes the "shiny things" cease to be so. So... ALtimeter & helmet. Get a Sapphire Alti or similar ($70-80) & a Protec Helmet ($60) & a set of goggles ($15). Hold off on the "Competition super-swooper RW jumpsuit" ($300+) until you know how your fall rate has settled. get a cheap jumpsuit, even use a one piece coverall in the meantime. This leaves you with more money & more money = MORE JUMPS. More jumps means more experience sooner. Before long you will be past the stage where you need to ask what you need, you'll know... Mike D10270. PS... One thing that you can't save on... A Cypres.

Of course, you could always try & convince the pilot & JM you NEED to "self spot" your solo exit at 1.55pm . Mike D10270.

Nope... I think they're still busy with the marketing hype & by-product sales from the last lot! Mike D10270.

Heh Heh heh! I guess the BA pilot is in deep Smegola for not "getting on the Jerry's tail" . Either that or (if he has any sense of humour) he could always try & say his Gandfather used to knock out V-1s in the war so doing this is in his genes!!!!! Mike D10270.

Hi Sis, Just a stray thought, but why not apply direct to airlines? The reason I suggest this is that I know that BA has just started to take "Cadets" again - that is people with ZERO flying experience & they're training them from scratch

Hi Sis, THat's great

Hi Sis, This may seem drastic... But if all else fails then: Put your car in your garage & all your belongings in your house. Buy 2,000lbs gunpowder (surely not all that difficult in Texas)!? Place 'said gunpowder under foundations of your house. Detonate same. Listen carefully for "Beeping noises" on the way back down. Hope this helps. Mike D10270.

BTW... The idea of Airtec & SSK getting ALL the Cypres' back near enough together every 4 years is so that the units aren't just tested against definite values in a pressure chamber, the units are also compared and any trends to fault are spotted & corrected. The manufacturer 4 year check is somewhat exhaustive & (as I understand it) is done on a "no-profit" basis! Any faults in a Cypres are just fixed by the manufacturer IF there are any. As for the "12 year life" of a Cypres: All things degrade through time! Even solid state electronics (that's why ALL aircraft components are "lifed"). Airtec are simply following suit and presently believe that at some point after 12 years some of the units may begin to malfunction. Since absolute reliability is vital in this component, it has been given a 12 year life. Mike D10270.

Hi there, I must admit I don't like the current "British standard" FAI Licenses. Or most other country's standards either. It seems to me that the "A", "B" & "C" licenses show some sort of achievement or progression, while the "D" only means a $h!tload of jumps. Personally I like the "sticker" endorsements that the British system uses, & I don't have an issue with Jump numbers (althrough I think that they should be eased, maybe 100 jumps for "C" & 200 for "D". WHAT I DO WANT (!!!) is that as well as jump numbers, you should have achieved something to qualify for the next letter! Just my $0.02, Mike D10270.

Why exactly is Pammi all fired up about going to Quincy even if there's no 727 to jump? Could it be the B-17 bomb Bay !? If so... Will it be on the standard Quincy Video or will we have to pay extra for the uncensored one. I'd assume neither Pammi or Merrick would have to pay their slots... That'ds be covered by the video guys? Mike D10270.

Hi Froggie... Yeah, but look on the bright side... in years to come when the P.E. teacher gets the "Parachute" out for your kids... then she's also going to get the tough time from them! Mike D10270

MISLEADING TITLE!!!!!! There I was, all set to have another jingoistic bash at the former (& future?) colony only to find.... Mike D10270.

Hi there, I'm not being deliberately contentious (yeah... I know... Makes a change!), but my own personal favourite has to be Coolige. I like Eloy... But I love Coolige. It just seemed that the ambience was nicer there. Mike D10270.