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hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm sadza!!!!!!!!! Sadza and chicken stew on a cold winter day - hmmmmmmm Biltong!!! hmmmmmm hmmmmmmm Droewors Hmm hm hm mmm hmmmm hmmmm

Greetings from a fellow non-american. Not sure how to classify myself any more, but I'm not American (ALthough I wouldn't say no to living there!!!!!!!)

Steven Curtis Chapman Delirious?

Get well soon, heal fast, good luck, and any others I've missed out

[sly Excellent!

Subject: Makes you Wonder Makes you Wonder (1) Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"? (2) Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat? (3) Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? (4) If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? 5) Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? (6) If the professor on Giligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? (7) Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? (8) Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? (9) Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! (10) What do you call male ballerinas? (11) Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?? (12) Why Are Trix only for kids? (13) If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? (14) Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'? (15) If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (16) If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? (17) If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong? (18) Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure? 19) Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? (20) Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

These could have already been posted before - all worksafe

I'm bored too These might be old, but I am just going through my old emails, looking for something - anything - mildly amusing. > Top Eight Morons > > > > 1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? > > AT&T FIRED President John Walter after nine months, > > saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received > > a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not > > Walter who's lacking intelligence. > > > > 2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: > > Police in Oakland, California spent two hours > > attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded > > himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas > > canisters, officers discovered that the man was > > standing beside them in the police line, shouting > > "Please come out and give yourself up." > > > > 3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? > > An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a > > motorist and forced him to drive to two different > > automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper > > proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank > > accounts. > > > > 4. THE GETAWAY! > > A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, > > and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. > > Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied > > up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for > > three hours until police showed up and grabbed him. > > > > 5. DID I SAY THAT??? > > Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery > > suspect who just couldn't control himself during a > > lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup > > to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll > > shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!" > > > > 6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING?? > > A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is > > pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes > > apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. > > "No!", the man shouted, "This is her husband!". > > > > 7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!! > > In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was > > arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America > > branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and > > a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he > > failed to keep his hand in his pocket. > > (hellllllooooooo!) > > > > 8. THE GRAND FINALE > > Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in > > the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, > > California, some folks, new to boating, were having a > > problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't > > get their brand new 22ft going. It was very sluggish > > in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was > > applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, > > they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there > > could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside > > check revealed everything in perfect working > > condition. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up > > and down, the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, > > one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check > > underneath. He came up choking on water, he was > > laughing so hard. > > NOW REMEMBER ...THIS IS TRUE... > > Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was > > the trailer. > > > > Does any one else find it frightening that half of > > these took place in California????

I don't know if I have understood you correctly - Are you talking about "clippy", the microsoft paperclip that offers you "advice" if you don't deactivate him

Some "interesting" topics in here http://www.improbable.com/ig/ig-pastwinners.html Hey Narcimund http://www.apostrophe.fsnet.co.uk/ I think this got a nobel prize for literature in 2001

Thanks a lot!

Ok - Do you know of any other Zim members? I just noticed - I'm an enthusiast now!!!

Hey Bluefingers - where about in Zim did you live? I'm from Bulawayo

Or travlling on London Underground!

One day while I was walking, reading a magazine, waiting for a tram, something bit my foot. I looked down and there was a green leprechaun with his ballshaped head, feeling my shoelaces. He was a charming young man and desperately seeking a wig, one that would impress even the most hairy woman. he asked for help, So I came up with this Idea: I would take a razor, pull down my socks and give him my leg hair in exchange for advice on down-sizing my portfolio and some gold so I could witness first-hand the life of the rich and not have to be post whore for the rest of my life (a military post that is). He accepted the deal with one condition, he would need my left-over potatoes from lunch

One day while I was walking, reading a magazine, waiting for a tram, something bit my foot. I looked down and there was a green leprechaun with his ballshaped head, feeling my shoelaces. He was a charming young man and desperately seeking a wig, one that would impress even the most hairy woman. He asked

One day while I was walking, reading a magazine, waiting for a tram, something bit my foot. I looked down and there was a green leprechaun with his ballshaped head, feeling my shoelaces. He was a charming young man and desperately seeking a wig

One day while I was walking, reading a magazine, waiting for a tram, something bit my foot. I looked down and there was a green leprechaun with his ballshaped head, feeling my shoelaces

I wouldn't call myself a skydiver - yet, but I am a Christian

One day while I was walking, reading a magazine, waiting for a tram, something

How old is old?

Ok, when you were children, didn't it bug you when the old people went on about how things were in the gool old days, and "young people today, blah blah blah"? In the same breathe, they also went on about how tough things were, and they had to wrestle crocodiles to cross a river to get to school, etc etc? They will grow up just fine - the same as we did, and our parents before us, etc.

Shame, Tara - sorry you are going through a tough time. Give it time - I don't know him, but if you are committed to each other, you can work through it.

I'm guessing "significant other" Sorry sweetgirl - It's just I have strong feelings about this.