Ahhh, you caught me! There is a reason those guys can't ever find me in the woods, they should be looking in airplanes and dropzones.
Since you've figured it out, I did want to clarify something about the Jack Links Beef Jerky commercials. The family member that is in those commercials is the slow cousin that everyone seems to have in the family! Poor guy can't get a break.
And if you don't know who the slow cousin is in your family, it's probably you! Smile, Damn it!!