riddler

I did early, early voting by asking for a mail-in ballot a few months ago. It took them forever to get me the mail-in, because the republicans orchistrated a shutdown of the social security database in Colorado to keep people without drivers licenses (typically, poor, urban democrats) from registering, which affected their ability to check my identity to send me a ballot. I finally got the mail-in ballot, filled it out, and mailed it in. Now the question is who is going to try to disallow the mail-in ballots? My guess is the democrats. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

Discredit where discredit is due. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

With all the dirt-flinging in the Presidential Race, not one person has pointed out that McCain has violated the Standard Creepiness Rule by marrying a woman 18 years younger than himself. The Standard Creepiness Rule states that No man shall date a woman younger than (his_age / 2 + 7). John and Cindy were married when he was 43 and she was 25. According to the rule, she needed to be at least 28.5 for him to meet the guidelines. And the entire time he was cheating on his first wife with her, that time also falls under the umbrella as well, since it applies to dating. However, in fairness, I should point out that the creepiness rule was not widespread in 1980, when they were married, so we should give McCain some slack, because he was grandfathered Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

McCain is behind it! Well, OK, I don't really believe that. But let's talk about how many people think Obama is behind the Acorn fraud. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

The old lady that said "he's an Arab" - I heard she was just a dem ringer trying to stir up McCain Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

I thought McCain did his best in the last debate, but it didn't look that good to be on the attack for most of the debate, and to talk about issues that the voters don't care about. Even he said he didn't care about an old washed-up terrorist. We know the public doesn't care about it. So why make it a theme of your campaign? Obama was on the defensive, but he plays a good defense. Clinton won partly because he refused to attack his opponent, even when they were attacking him. I think Obama knows that most Americans don't want to see political fighting - they want answers to their issues. Obama supplied answers - McCain supplied attacks and rhetoric. No, the McCain campaign isn't crumbling, but at this point, I doubt they can overcome their current deficit. They don't have the money, and they are taking the blame for the economic crises. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

Somewhat ambiguous. Andrew was the first called, but there are four books that describe the induction, and it's likely that Peter was the first inducted. Hard to separate the two because they were brothers. In Matthew, he describes Peter as the "first", but in the other books, the order isn't all that clear, except that Peter is listed first. But yeah, probably I should have said Andrew was the first called Apostle, but not the first Apostle initiated. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

Please tell me it's a nipple ring. Sorry - wait - I thought we were in Bonfire. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

The White House just gave government money to help banks, McCain wants to give government money to buy bad mortgages. Which party is the socialist party, again? Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

The film is pandering to western audiences who can't even begin to understand the intricacies of Eastern religions. With the exception of Scientology, all of the other religions explored are of a Judeo-Christian faith - monotheism, with Islam and Christianity "building" onto Judaism, and Mormoms "building" onto Christianity. Buddism and Hinduism aren't really even monotheistic, and I doubt that most westerners can relate emotionally to them. The Scientology one is curious, but I think because of the western media exposure to it lately, audiences can relate to it on a comedic level. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

Didn't you hear? He doesn't want to "telegraph his punches" Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

Yes, in fact, I have been registered in school as a Christian. When I was young, I attended a private school, which asked about our specific faith, and my my mother checked the box "Christian". At the time, the schools thought they were being sensitive to the needs of the children, who may have to observe different religious rituals on different days. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

Good thing, too. If Hillary made the cut, they definitely would not have voted for her. I wouldn't have either, but for different reasons. Even though there is still a great amount of sexism in this country, it pales in comparison to just about every other country I've visited. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

After years of deluding myself that I am an atheist, I've come to the sudden realization that I am, in fact, a Christian! How do I know? My middle name - it's Andrew. Andrew was the first Apostle of Christ. My parents were Christian, and they named me for the same Andrew in the Bible! How could I not have realized this sooner? In the same way that Barack Hussein Obama II must come to the realization that he is really a Muslim (or in the words of Pat Buchanan, "not one of us"), it is finally dawning on me that because of my middle name, I am really a Christian (in my words, "one of us"). I suppose that my choice in the matter is moot - I've been branded from birth, and I have to accept that. I want to reassure everyone that just because there have been many Christian terrorists, that I am not, and will never be a terrorist. After all, Timothy McVeigh was raised as a Christian. Terry Nichols is a born-again Christian. The Christian were responsible for the Crusades, and countless other "incursions". But just because I am a Christian, I refuse to align myself with "those people". Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

John McCain, Why do you keep referring to me as "my friend"? I don't remember ever meeting you, much less being your friend. I know you made a skydive once when your plane went down, but that doesn't automatically make you my friend, or me yours. If we're such good friends, can you loan me a few bucks of your own money (not mine) to help me through this economy? After all, you gave my money to help out your rich friends out when they had problems ... Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

OK, I fess up. I'm not really a US Citizen. The fact is, that I was born in Germany. My parents are American, of course, but they obviously spent enough time really close to France to be influenced by those Frog bastards, so they can't really be American in their true hearts. My father was in the American Army, but that doesn't mean anything - he was only following orders, and his commanders were probably in on the whole conspiracy. I have an American birth certificate that was signed by hand by Henry Kissinger, but that guy had a funny accent, and he "mysteriously" emerged unscathed from Watergate. I humbly await the impending lawsuit proving I'm not really a US Citizen. Maybe after Schwarzenegger is elected President (which is OK, even though he's not a citizen, because he has the right moral values), he'll be able to pardon me or something. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

Not fair - Bill's wife gave away most of his money Nerds still rule! Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

What's with all the Darning? I keep hearing "gosh-darn-it" and "darn-this" and "darn-that". Nearly every one of my socks has holes in them, but I've never learned to darn. Is that a skill that is lost to everyone except hockey-moms in Alaska? More importantly, can she show us how to darn? I might write her in for President if she could show me something really useful like that. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

Yeah - I wrote House when I should have wrote Senate. But you have an interesting point. Right now, the GOP must be telling Dubya he needs to "take one for the team", with McCain bashing him almost as much as Obama just to get votes. How much more interesting would it be if the Republicans pushed for an impeachment just to try to polarize the voting right? Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

Right. Of course, if someone gets all their understanding of politics from Mary Matalin, they'll probably think that a partisan impeachment is the same thing as a criminal conviction Clinton was impeached (meaning they have a reason to pursue a conviction) by a partisan vote in the House (the Republicans voted in a straight-line partisan vote to impeach), but even the Republican-controlled House couldn't get the 2/3 necessary to convict. In both the House and Senate, not one Democrat voted for impeachment, nor conviction, a few Republicans also voted against it in the Senate. Party politics, nothing more. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

I was thinking the same thing! After months of the right talking about how we have become a socialist nation, for McCain to say he was going to spend another $300 billion buying the bad loans seemed incredibly socialist. Of course, I assumed he would let the families in those houses stay there, but then again, he never said he wouldn't kick them out. Anyway, McCain did a better job tonight than he did in the first debate. But he started off with a severe handicap, since the Dow took another big hit on Wall Street today. The election will be won or lost on the economy, not on foreign relations, energy, or anything else. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

From Wikipedia: Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

Unless of course, those babies live in the middle-east and have brown skin and have never been baptized. Then it's OK to kill them with sanctions and/or bombs. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

I got a flu shot once, and afterwards researched what it was. Since then, I've never gotten another one. Here's why: 1. My immune system needs practice. Right now, I have the flu - it sucks, but it'll help boost my immune system against the really nasty strains later in the year, when it's freezing cold in Colorado. 2. The flu shot can be effective if you get lucky. Or rather, if the CDC gets lucky. They choose three strains every year that they think will be most widespread, but they are frequently wrong. When they put in an attenuated vaccine against those three strains, if any of the dozens of others becomes popular that year, you're screwed. A typical year they might get one out of three right. 3. Multi-vaccinations are a hard hit to your immune system. For your body to fight off three attenuated viruses is a lot of work, and some people get sick after the shot! I personally believe that if you eat a lot of fresh fruits and veggies (>75%), and you get 30 minutes of exercise each day, your immune system will be prepared for nearly any virus. Why am I sick? I've been eating garbage and not exercising. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

The floodgates are open, prepare to drown in debt. Auto, Bank, Mortgage, States, etc, etc. Where's the bailout for Al-Qaeda? I hear they need cash, too. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD