happythoughts

"I guess he could be a slut" How about a PC term - "friendliness enhanced"

These two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks...

"it is just as appropriate to call him a slut too. " What ? Are you referring to my website ? The photographer said it was done very tastefully.

ok. Just don't call me late to dinner.

[font "Comic Sans MS"]This guy sees a sign in front of a house "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back yard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a mutt sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the dog replies. "So, what's your story?" The mutt looks up and says "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leader, cause no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. The owner says "Ten dollars." The guy says he'll buy him but asks the owner, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him?" The owner replies, "He's such a liar."[/font]

"I don't think the war of words is over" Can we say "stalling" ? Last time I was in court, someone said "Your honor, we basically agree, but we'd like to go through mediation. We have received a date for mediation 60 days from now". Nothing changed, we just waited 60 days to talk again, another 90 days to get a new court date to tell the judge that mediation didn't work. Keep stalling until everyone tires of dealing with it. Oldest strategy in the world. "But we are a lot closer to a peaceful resolution to this than we were yesterday. " This is based on the theory that one exists. Iraq would want one why ? Recent history - Iraq/Iran conflict. Iraq/Kuwait conflict. In the Iraq/Kuwait conflict, who invaded who ? For Iraq, war is a national sport.

The red box was instruments. It weighed 57 lbs by itself. His exit weight was 313 lbs. Fortunately, he was jumping a 28-ft round to give him that gentle landing.

Pic from Kittinger's jump in 1960. 104,000 ft.

For some people, having a sex change is just having some.

"No matter how you feel about him, he is still our president." - Monica Lewinski

Fast Eddie has a set of grungy, plastic teeth that he puts in when the tandem students are not looking. The video guy is filming the student while he sits behind them and smiles. I have always wondered what they thought when they saw their video.

Pic of last year's costume. Previous year, I was the Pope. The Pope is a very fun costume.

I've seen tandem passengers get so nervous that they would not eat. Then, if the weather did not permit them to go up immediately, their stomach would continue to churn. Lack of food and nervous stomach acid = puking under canopy. My fav conversation: Tandem master with mal over head, "How did you like freefall ?" Student, "Great!" TM reaching for cutaway handle, "Well, here we go again". Student, "What???"

A man was going door-to-door doing a sexual survey in Jeff's neighborhood. "How often a week do you sleep with your wife?" asked the inquirer. "Three times," Jeff said without hesitation. "That is once more often than your neighbor," the inquirer said, writing. "That makes sense," Jeff said. "After all, she's my wife."

The latest extreme sport.

There is a landing guideline for Florida jumpers that goes like this: If you look down and see a large, flat, green spot and there is no cows on it, then it's a lake. In a lot of places, you will see a stand of trees in a semi-circle and next to it is a flat, dark green circle. It's just a lake covered with plants.

HHGTTG is a series of books. Most of the humor is based around changing your perspective. Must read. Three knee-high stacks of t-shirts. Favorites - WFFC shirt showing a cow with a rig on, head down, over the corn, and 2 other cows yelling 'pull'. Whuffos keep asking me if it is a skeet-shooting shirt. My "Heads" skydiving bar shirt. Muff Bros Van Break team shirt.

We're highly trained professionals. Try to think of it this way, you would take off your clothes for your doctor, right ? It's nearly the same thing, just an electronic version. We're just here to help.

"I guess it wouldn't be a normal Friday without a bunch of horny skydivers around. " For a hottie like you, I figured "a bunch of horny skydivers around" was "a normal Friday".

"photos of women our posting friends will never meet. " I get the travel magazine from AAA. It's full of places that I'll never visit. Doesn't stop me from reading it though.

"Hell, I'd put up with her bisexual encounters just to be able to join in! " Just not as young as I once was. She brought home 4 girls from the Hooters where she works. I had to send two of them home.

A lot guys want to have sex with 2 girls at the same time. She's at least 3.

"I was going to post my girlfriend later, but your ex-wife said she'd kill me. " No problem. Wouldn't want you in any trouble. I'll post it for ya. Helpin a brother out.

"on occasions I jump out of planes, but thats cause i'm bored" With me, it's peer pressure. All my friends jump and I just follow them out. I'm in a new 12-step program - "Just say maybe"

I was going to post a pic of my g/f, thanks for saving me the trouble.