f1freak

I also try to pull while in a slight track.... Works for me... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

I love my cobalt 120, i have never had anything other that beautiful openings with mine... I have packed it all different ways, even total trash packs and it has been so smooth and on heading everytime... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

http://www.msnbc.com/news/796225.asp?pne=msn HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Hidden Brain Damage... 1. People tell me one thing one day and out the other. 2. I can't unclasp my hands. 3. I can wear my shirts as pants. 4. I feel as much like I did yesterday as I do today. 5. I always lick the fronts of postage stamps. 6. I often mistake my hands for food. 7. I'd rather eat soap than little stones. 8. I never liked room temperature. 9. I line my pockets with hot cheese. 10. My throat is closer than it seems. 11. I can smell my nose hairs. 12. I'm being followed by a pair of boxer shorts. 13. Most things are better eaten than forgotten. 14. Likes and dislikes are among my favorites. 15. Pudding without raisins is no pudding at all. 16. My patio is covered with a killer frost. 17. I've lost all sensation in my shirt. 18. I try to swallow at least three times a day. 19. My best friend is a social worker. 20. I've always known when to close my eyes. 21. My squirrels don't know where I am tonight. 22. Little can be said for Luxembourg. 23. No napkin is sanitary enough for me. 24. I walk this way because I have to. 25. Walls impede my progress. 26. I can't find all my marmots. 27. There's only one thing for me. 28. My uncle is as stupid as paste. 29. I can pet animals by the mouthful. 30. My toes are numbered. 31. Man's reach should exceed his overbite. 32. People tell me when I'm deaf. 33. My beaver won't go near the water. 34. I can find my ears, but I have to look. 35. I'd rather go to work than sit outside. 36. Armenians are comical in full battle dress. 37. I don't like any of my loved ones. 38. I try to get out of bed at least once a day. 39. I have tried to bonsai my dog. 40. When I dance, I have two left thumbs. 41. My plants don't trust me any more. 42. I'm still searching for the perfect pencil. 43. More people know about me than I do. 44. I get sleepy just staying awake. 45. The air is my best friend. 46. My cup does its job TOO WELL. 47. The sight of a fluorescent light makes me nervous. 48. I sent away for the booklet, "How To Become Literate." 49. I couldn't care less about apathy. 50. My hair is conspiring against me. 51. I am on a strict diet of non-biodegradable food. 52. I have more feet than my shoes. HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Dr. Seuss Purity Test Have you done it on a boat? Have you done it with a goat? Have you done it in a bed? Have you done it with the dead? Have you done it in the a**? Have you done it, high on grass? Have you done it in the car? Have you simply gone too far? Have you done it on the beach? Have you done it with the teach? Have you done it on your back? Have you done it strapped to a rack? Have you done it in a box? Have you done it with a fox? Have you done it in a tree? Have you done it with more than three? Have you done it in the rain? Have you done it for the pain? Have you done it 'tween the t***? Have you done it wearing mitts? Have you done it packed in rubber? Have you done it undercover? Have you done it on a perch? Have you done it in a church? Have you done it with a virgin? Have you done it with a sturgeon? Have you done it with ropes and chains? Have you done it while insane? Have you done it on the stage? Have you done it underage? Have you done it with all your friends? Have you done it in both ends? Have you done it with your dog? Have you done it on a log? Have you done it under clamps? Have you done it with the lamps? Have you done it without style? Have you done it on the bathroom tile? Have you done it for all to see? Have you ever had VD? Have you done it on Mother's couch? Have you done it in your mouth? Have you done it while on tape? Have you done it out of shape? Have you done it on live TV? Have you done it whilst you pee? Have you done it in the gym? Have you done it on a whim? Have you done it on a dare? Do you really think we care? Answer these and count your "no"s, Pray this number never grows; Fifty questions we asked thee, Score times two is your Purity. HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Best dance around.... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

I was just served my divorce papers friday and i did my happy dance..... I was feelin like crap for long time, now im just so happy that i dont have to waste any more time on that psycho i called a wife... Life is 2 short... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Cool Ralley pic's man... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Here's to Harry O..... Blue ones forever... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

A Crappy Date (A True Story) This happened to someone. This guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to school at Ithaca College. For two years, he has wanted to ask a certain girl (who is also from Westchester and also goes to Ithaca) out on a date, but has never had the courage. Finally, one day over the summer, he sees her at home and musters up the courage to ask her out. She accepts, and they make dinner plans for Saturday night. Friday night, this guy goes out with all of his buddies, and drinks like Prohibition is coming back. Saturday, he is in such bad shape that he can't make it through twenty minutes without either throwing up or using the bathroom. After several hours of this, he is able to stop throwing up, but he is still running to the toilet every 20 minutes. He doesn't want to cancel the date, because he's afraid he won't ever talk to her again. So they meet in Westchester, and take the train to New York City (about a 30 minute ride). They get to the restaurant, and he excuses himself during the appetizers to use the bathroom. They enjoy the rest of the appetizers without interruption, but he has to go back again during the entrees. They decide to get dessert. During dessert, our hero feels another rumbling, but doesn't want to look like a complete bathroom freak, so he holds it. After a few minutes, the rumbling subsides, but he still has a bit of gas stored up. He decides to let this little bit of gas fly right there at the table (discreetly, of course). Unfortunately, this little bit of gas came with another little surprise. "Oh crap," he thinks (and feels). Instead of running to the bathroom right away, our hero immediately leans on the arms of his chair to keep from sitting on this surprise. He maintains this yoga position for the rest of dessert, trying to figure out what to do before his tan pants (a) start to smell, or (b) start to show stains on the outside. He quickly pays for dinner and they leave the restaurant. Oh, by the way, he is walking like a cowboy. On the way to the train station, they pass the Gap. Do you mind if I run in and buy a sweater that I was looking at last week?" he asks. "No problem, I'd like to look around too," she replies. They go into the Gap. Fortunately, at the Gap, men's fashions are on the right, women's fashions are on the left. They split up. Our hero grabs the first sweater within reach, and hurries back to the khakis. After selecting a pair that most closely resemble his current outfit, he brings both items to the register. His eyes are on his date (still on the other side of the store) to make sure that she doesn't see him buying the pants. He doesn't even want the sweater, so he says through clenched teeth (just in case his date can read lips from 40 feet away) "Just the pants." "What?" asks the Gap girl. "Just the pants!" (Eyes still trained on his date.) Gap girl: "Oh, OK." He pays for the pants and walks over to his date; then they leave the store. They board the train just before it leaves the station and find two seats in the middle of the car. Without sitting down, our hero excuses himself and walks to the bathroom in the back of the car. He gets to the bathroom as the train departs, and quickly rips off his pants and boxer shorts. He rolls them into a ball and throws them out the window. After cleaning himself off, he opens the Gap bag and pulls out...just the sweater. HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Full contact skydiving... Now thats EXTREME... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

George Carlin Strikes Again Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards. NAIVE Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? OK... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs”, what does that make the Tennessee Titans? If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea. . Does that mean that one Enjoys it? There are three religious truths: A. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. B. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. C. Baptists do not recognize each Other in the liquor store or at Hooters If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes? Why do we say something is out of whack? What’s a whack? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? When someone asks you, “A penny for your thoughts” and you put your two cents in. . . What happens to the other penny? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren’t they just stale bread to begin with? When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? Why is a person who plays the piano called pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist? Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one? “I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence? If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge. Would they call it Fed UP? Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men? I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me. . They’re cramming for their final exam. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks? Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail? If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. No one ever says, “It’s only a game” when their team is winning. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag? Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Me... After i forget to finish my flare... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Monkeys GOOOOD.. HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Sending vibes... Good luck... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

oh yea... dude that sounds cool. HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Ahhhh. This is a rerun.... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Is the Artist DICE? HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Ahhh... I fixed it.... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Ok, im looking for a cool drawing of a swooping elliptical in color or grey scale for a new tattoo. im thinking of having Da Vinici's drawing of his concept parachute and a modern canopy in my design. any ideas out there... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Cool, the last one is perfect... Thanks HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Does anyone know where i could find a good picture of Da Vinci's Parachute drawing? Im getting ready for a new Tattoo and want to include that drawing... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Ahhh, no need to take the door off... I have made quite a few jumps from small Cessna’s with the door still on... it makes it a little more interesting... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

Hell, i just use that error to tell me it's lunch time every day... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE

God that show is funny... it is total mindless, sometimes irritating, humor... HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE