livendive

"There should be a law against jackets like that!" Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Oh, they weren't. I left some out to protect the guilty. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

My serious answer is the same. I never have a clue as to whether a girl "likes" me. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Yep. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

I try to assume that any woman who talks to me likes me. I'm sure it's rarely true, if ever, but it's good for the ego. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

OK, so the roadtrip was a blast. I got to make a few skydives, I met a bunch of very cool people (plus one jackass, and one horse's ass), and there was lots of hilarity and absurdity along the way, two of my favorite things in the world. Not all of them translate well into this form of communication, but I'll give it a shot. First, the cashier at the gas station in Oregon (where people aren't allowed to pump their own gas) who apparently didn't see me and Roy get out of the same car: Her (to me): Are you waiting for fuel? Me: Yes Her: OK, so I've got two guys waiting for fuel (while nodding in the direction of Roy and another guy) Me: Wait, which of those guys is also waiting? Her: He is (again nodding) Me: Who is "he"? (and immediately realizing the ambiguity of the question) Her: What? Me: When you say one of those guys is waiting for fuel, which one are you referring to? Her: (Pointing both index fingers at my face) YOU! Are YOU waiting for fuel? Me: (yelling) YES! Who else is? (Roy is useless for asking the question, he's laughing too hard) Roy: (in super retarded voice, with hands mashing in front of him) "are nyue mwaiteen for fuuuel"? Cashier: (getting angry) Well? Are you! Me: NO! Just let me pay for this beer! HE can pay for the fuel! Her: I thought YOU were waiting for fuel! Me: Goddammit! Here, take this money for the beer. Her: God I love Friday's...I just started and have all night to go. Then, there was a couple in the bunkhouse at the DZ who apparently decided privacy wasn't a luxury they could afford and therefore made "accidental" voyeurs out of others. It was pretty clear the guy liked a little pain but had a limit, because although the noises they were making were funny in an absurd sort of way, the hilarity came with the cessation of activities and his rapid fire whisper-talking "Wait! Not so hard that it bleeds!" I was able to contain my laughter at the time, but not a few minutes later, when a loud "SLAP!" noise interrupted the rhythmic sounds they were making at the time...then I lost it. We stopped in San Jose for dinner Sunday night on our way out of town, and the food took WAY too long to get to us. The bartender, trying to appease us, told us our drinks would be on the house for the entire night, whatever we want. We ended up having to cut ourselves off after awhile, or we wouldn't have made it anywhere at all. As it was, we didn't make it far, because suddenly Lodi sounded like a great idea. We had to stop for gas and a map to see how the freeways connect to each other, so I filled up the car while Roy went inside. When he came back out, I saw he was only carrying a 6-pack of beer and looking quite proud. I said, "Did you get a map?" His chest deflated and he replied, dead-serious, with this confused look on his face, "What? I've got beer, why would I need a map?" What a perfect guy quote! I think there should be a t-shirt or bumper sticker with that one on it. When we got to Lodi and started setting up my tent, Roy helped me with the poles, and eventually Krisanne asked what she could do. I said "stakes". She dumped out the bag of stakes and said "all of them"? I replied, "No, just two apiece on the two ends, so the side rooms open up." Well, she went and put two in on one side, then said "I can't find where the other two go". I walked over and said: "You've got this side, those two go on the other side" "What side?" "The OTHER side!" "What other side?" Laughing my ass off..."The side opposite THIS side!....You know, the OTHER side! Like 180 degrees from here" What made that funnier was 5 minutes later when she tried to open the door on the second side she'd (eventually) staked...I said "Hey, this wall is broken, so you're sleeping on the other side" and she said, completely serious, "What other side?" My reply, "Didn't we JUST do this? The OTHER side!" There was lots more too, but I'm not sure how funny this is translating, so I'll leave it there. Long story short, my voice is hoarse today, and it's mostly because of how much I laughed this weekend. If you weren't there, you missed out on a hilarious time. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Don't know about most cellular service plans, but the 2 that I had give you 100 messages -in- for free. It was the text -out- that cost 10 cents per send-off. I didn't know anyone paid for incoming. I get all my incoming free, and 500/month outgoing for $4/month and .05 or .10 per outgoing above 500. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Holy shit, I'm an even bigger dork than I thought I was. If I hadn't tried to ham it in 2341, I could have printed that out, put it in my wallet, and told everyone I have the hottest girlfriend in the world! Thanks for having us man. It was a great roadtrip, and well worth the drive. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Ouch! I can still arrange that introduction if you'd like...in fact, I might have to! Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Barry was the coolest ever. If you got to talk to him from beyond the grave, well, you're the luckiest ever! Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

you got that right bro. Well that explains my confusion with the mapquest picture. I was gonna print out a satellite photo for NWFlyer to look at beforehand. Mapquest found the DZ's address for me, but based on the size of that patch of grass and the potential rotors from the trees in the attached picture, I figured there was probably another landing area somewhere else on the airport, at least for students. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Sometimes I *like* feeling alone in the middle of a crowd.

Translate, s'il te plait. He doesn't type so well. I'm pretty sure he meant "rowdy character". Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Similarly, if I were going to pay someone to argue on my behalf, I'd hire someone who would do a good job of it. Tunaplanet got backed into too many corners to be a professional. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Who's going to come out & play tomorrow (Friday) night in Hollister? How can us fellow rabble-rousers find you when we get into town? Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Not a chance. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Did you video??? I wanna see the Nicky's in action!!

Agreed. Hooters wings suck, but the beer's cold and the waitstaff pleasant on the eyes (at least at every one I've been to). Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

A+, just like me. Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Was he bragging to you too about winning his tickle-fight with Piisfish? Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

ummm...work? Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

Delirium tremens, drunk texts, my initials...it's like "Wow, man! Really far out!" Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)

What do you have to worry about? I thought you were a chick! Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew)