yamtx73

Why is sex like a bridge game? You don't need a partner if you have a good hand. Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties? To find a tight seal. What's the speed limit of sex? 68; at 69 you have to turn around. What's the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with a light on. What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say? Beat it - we're closed. What do you call a virgin on a waterbed? A cherry float. What's the difference between sin and shame? It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out. Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box? She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!" Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? Their balls are just for decoration. What three words are most likely to strike panic when you making love? Honey I'm home. My Dr. refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building. What's the difference between a fridge and a fanny? A fridge doesn't fart when you take the meat out The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

Camera whore? Not me that's for sure... I know of very few photos of me in existance and have done my best to destroy 90% of them... The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

I'll get braver when I have better pictures. "Help wanted: photographer. Must understand the use of lighting as camouflage and have excellent Photoshop skills." I'd volunteer for that position but I'm sure you'll find someone else better 'qualified'... The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

yep.... I can't play... go figure.. lol The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

1. I have my pilots license 2. I've never been outside the US 3. I can build a guitar but can't play one The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

Don't need to google it... it's a fact... the agave plant tequila is made from is a cactus... The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

Ok, using your definition of hot... the hottest at my dz isn't a jumper... she's the pilot... The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't complaining and it is a good place to jump. Small dz with a Caravan

"So YOU'RE that guy!" ohhhhh how I know that... all 3 videos taken of my AFF 6 were seen by everyone at the dz by the time I got to the ground, picked up my canopy and walked back to the hangar... I don't think there was a single person at the dz this weekend who didn't know about my problems... every one of them had the exact same advice... relax they said... but it's dam'n hard to relax when you're getting frustrated, especially when this is a recurring problem. I had this problem with AFF 4, got rid of it only to have it come right back again for AFF 6, even after 15 minutes in the tunnel (which turned out great). I think the biggest contribution to me finally passing AFF 6 was the change of instructors, I was able to get a different perspective and didn't feel like I was under any pressure, after redoing the same level 3 times with the same instructor I was putting pressure on myself to prove to him I could do it. With a different instructor I didn't feel like I HAD to do it THIS time so I was more relaxed. We also changed the dive flow somewhat, not introducing anything I hadn't done. That jump went great and afterwards I got a well deserved kick in the ass from both instructors My last jump today was my level 7, again we slightly changed the dive flow and added a couple conditions to it, I felt comfortable with it and had a blast. Afterwards we debriefed and we were both happy with my jump and we both agreed (hell if he hadn't suggested it I was going to) that next week I'll redo my AFF 7 just to make sure I'm in my comfort zone before progressing to AFF 8. Then I went back to my original instructor and told him I thought he was a great instructor and that I would be happy to jump with him again. My exits are actually pretty good (I've done enough of them ) and as long as I remember to have fun instead of trying too hard I shouldn't have any more problems.... The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

Think I'll steal that for a sig line... The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

How would you like the list... alphabetically or in order of occurrance? Let's see... de-arching, dropping a knee to start a spin, getting pissed at myself for spinning again, tensing up because I was getting pissed, trying TOO hard to stop the spin and getting more pissed, getting frustrated... not relaxing. When they changed instructors on me (don't get me wrong, my original instructor was great) I was able to relax more because I didn't feel as pressured as much and was able to actually get it right finally.... The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

The numbers I gave were scratch, but I was topped out and not getting any better, got boring at that point. I have atleast four good balls still in my gear bag, with all the extras. The wife just came home an hour ago from her state tournament. She throws a 180ish average and is currently on level 4 AFF, thinks she can do both oh well edit: I went through the spinning thing too, hang in there, it will come Well, I got the spinning thing licked for today anyway... we'll see what next weekend holds in store.. If she's carrying a 180ish average it sounds like she can do both relatively well... at least better than me, my highest average was just under 160. Still got my bowling balls and gear just in case, just wish I didn't get the one drilled... another dumbass story. Bought an Ebonite Skull Ball and had the dam'n thing drilled, now they're worth $500 undrilled... [Homer voice] DOH!!! [/Home voice] The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

1 Saturday, 3 Sunday... no beer, that'll be next weekend... Beautiful weather, high 70's - low 80's, mostly sunny with very little wind... The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

The worst part is... first 3 attempts at level 6 were all on video, I could see what I was doing wrong and I still did it on the next jump; needless to say I was getting very frustrated with it and actually did consider going bowling. After my first jump with the second instructor I felt alot better and more relaxed. Best part of my last jump was the comment that on my slow motion back flip I was had a very stable head down position, at least until I realized I didn't finish the flip (took about 2 seconds for that to sink in... ) I have been bowling. Bowled for serveral years. High game 279, high three game serries 683, bowled the abc nationals two years and countless other tournaments all over the south, quit with a 183 average (I am sure some reading this can beat my stats) Point being: bowling is not what it is craked up to be so I took up skydiving, so am I backwards??? LOL... I think my high game was 253 (with handicap)... I bowled on leagues for several years before giving it up after getting tired of league politics. If you're backwards so am I... know anyone who wants to buy a couple balls? The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

The worst part is... first 3 attempts at level 6 were all on video, I could see what I was doing wrong and I still did it on the next jump; needless to say I was getting very frustrated with it and actually did consider going bowling. After my first jump with the second instructor I felt alot better and more relaxed. Best part of my last jump was the comment that on my slow motion back flip I was had a very stable head down position, at least until I realized I didn't finish the flip (took about 2 seconds for that to sink in... ) The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

I won't say I don't drink because I do, but I have my self imposed limits and strictly adhere to them. I do know there are some who don't drink, one of my instructors doesn't... The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

I was starting to think I'm just too dam'n stupid to be skydiving... I've had a wonderful instructor with tons of patience but after having to repeat AFF 4 passing 5 first try then hitting a brick wall on level 6 I started having doubts. I went to Orlando, spent some time in the wind tunnel to work on my stability issues, came back yesterday and did my level 6 jump for the second time. Guess what, same problem (severe spin) reared it's evil head, my instructor had it all on video and I could see what the problem was so I spent the rest of the day and part of the night trying to correct it. Went back this morning full of confidence I had it licked, got out the door, good arch... then started spinning again. After another long talk (which included the TUB speach) I decided to give it ONE more try. My instructor and DZO decided to have me jump with another instructor this time. We sat down and discussed it, he told me what he expected this jump and we went up on the next load. While I still had a couple things to fix this time the jump went great, no more spinning! After landing we talked about it before he went up for a tandem jump while I got manifested for the next load. Had a good AFF 7 jump, we debriefed after he took up another tandem and both came to the same decision. Next weekend I'll be out there to do my AFF 7 again, not because I have to but to help build up my comfort level. Ok, it's a bit of a long winded but the moral is if at first you don't succeed try again, if that doesn't work try another instructor. Maybe the one you're jumping with is telling you what you need to do but it isn't clicking and the second instructor might be able to describe or define it in a way you can comprehend.... The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

That says it all right there... everyone has their own personal preferences, what one person may think is 'hot' may only be luke warm to the next... I know what I consider attractive, Walt knows what he likes... our tastes may not be the same but to each his/her own... Yes, even those big women you see at Walmart are considered 'hot' by some people... The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

Grey hair... or the ubiquitous blue hairs... of course that always leaves the ol' chrome dome... The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

I like jane... we party together from time to time... The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

there is always the question. "is it true? red on the head fire in the hole?" but that usually gets one slapped... I can answer that question with a very definite YES!! I've been with a couple redheads and there was without a doubt fire in the hole... The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

Ask and ye shall receive: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A redhead! What's safer: a redhead or a piranha? The piranha. They only attack in schools. How do you get a redhead's mood to change? Wait 10 seconds What do you call a Redhead with an attitude? Normal Only two things are necessary to keep a redhead happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it. A young man marrying a redhead asked his father for some marital advice. The father said, "Just remind her who wears the pants in your family." The evening arrived, the new husband tossed his pants to his bride and said, "Here put these on." She did and said "I don't fit into these." "That's right!" he said, "and don't you forget who wears the pants in this family!" With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He looked at them and said, "I can't get into your panties!" She said, "That's right - and you won't until your attitude changes!" What's the Redhead Dating Motto? The fastest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage. What's the true definition of a blonde? Redhead with the fire of passion missing. How do you get a redhead's mood to change? Wait 10 seconds One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his redheaded wife and pinched her on her butt and said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought herself better and replied with silence. The next morning the man woke his redhead with a pinch on the breast and said, "You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra." This was beyond a silence response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. With a death grip in place she said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the gardener, the poolman, and your brother." How do you know when a redhead has been using a computer? There's a hammer embedded in the monitor Only two things are necessary to keep a redhead happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it. What's the difference between a blonde and a redhead in bed A blonde let's you leave the bed when you are satisfied - a redhead let's you leave the bed when SHE is satisfied. What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Doughboy? ANGRY redhead with a yeast infection The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

Fritos or Doritos... too bad they don't sell Snyder's of Berlin in the south... The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch? A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes. What do you call going on a blind date with a brunette? Brown-bagging it. What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure? No one else wants it. What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes? Invisible. Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes? The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable. Why is brunette considered an evil color? When was the last time you saw a blonde witch? What do brunettes miss most about a great party? The invitation What do you call a good looking man with a brunette? A hostage Who makes bras for brunettes? Fisher-Price Why are brunettes so proud of their hair? It matches their moustache These are not my opinions just jokes..... The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

Ohhh, ok... Now I understand... Respect is like sex, it's short lived and induces a man to do shit he wouldn't do otherwise... The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...